Changing my mind after sending out Save the Dates?? Tacky? Too late? Rude?

You can still have a wedding with everyone there and find places to cut costs. For example: I'm not planning on having any flowers. All they're going to do is die anyway, so for me it's an unnecessary expense. You can DIY most decorations and things of that nature. The only thing that's really necessary to pay someone else to do is photography and catering/bartending.

If you don't already have a contract with that photographer, you could always look for one that is less expensive.

However, Save the Dates can be cancelled by word of mouth. I got one years back and when we didn't get a formal invitation, we knew the event had been cancelled.

You could always do an announcment card instead of an invite announcing you're already married and have the card say, ""Whoops, couldn't wait any longer" or something themed. I thought of a pumpkin from Cinderella, or the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. If either fits your personality. Wal-Mart, Walgreens and many other places can do wedding announcement cards.

Another option would be just to have a cake and punch reception with the guests you sent the STD too.

Hope something in my rambling response helps.

View Quoted Comment

I like your cake and punch idea! It's very simple and closer to what I'm feeling now. Perhaps some champagne, punch, light snacks, and cake. That's very affordable and simple and could easily come with DIY, cheap decorations. I do already have a contract with the photographer actually, but she's very amiable. I feel like I could possibly talk to her about just doing a nice engagement session with two or three outfits instead. That way, I can get the nice keepsake photos I want in a style I love.

I would still feel kinda bad though because I talked up my ideas and plans so much about something small but classy/fancy. And now to want something small, simple, and bare-bones....Well, I suppose I would have to communicate to everyone about the change via website and word of mouth. And less expensive, basic invitations from someplace like Walmart...

View Quoted Comment

Affordable and simple can also be classy and fancy. It doesn't have to be expensive to look nice or make things feel more elegant. As long as you didn't say there would be a dinner reception on the STD (which doesn't make sense anyway) then you don't need to tell anyone about the change. It would be communicated on the invitation with a small "Please join us for cake and punch after the ceremony." or something of that nature.

As for invitations, keep an eye out for sales from places like Minted and Vistaprint. Also look on Etsy, as people sell templates that you can buy and use to print your own invitations.

It is not rude or selfish to change your plans. It’s conpletely okay to switch to a small ceremony and then spend the money on a honeymoon instead. I’d take into account any deposits you’d lose and then how much you want the big wedding, to make sure you don’t have regrets. If you think you will then the PPs have given some good tips on cutting costs. I’m doing courthouse and then spending money on a honeymoon instead (still way less than a wedding) so I totally get that part.

Look online at Costco and Sam's for flowers. They even have bridal floral packages. Either way, they should be much cheaper than a florist.

If you've sent out the Save the Dates, I'd probably try to find a way to move forward, but that's just me. You risk hurt feelings from those who get cut when you reduce the guest list, unless you elope entirely.

Have your florist do a two-flower (floating flower arrangement). Simple one or two flower stems for each BM should run about $10-12 each. Use carnations for bouts - never mind any filler flowers. Use simple roses for your bouquet. For the photographer, see if he/she could give you a "bare bones" package. In other words shoot and edit the photos, put them on a disc. Maybe just the ceremony, first dances, "mock" cake cutting to cut down on time. In other words your photog could just do 2-3 hours of reception. You can decide later to have them do professional albums. You can order a thank you card from Vistaprint.com to send out later as well. Skip the favors. Get your wedding cake and some cookies from Costco's or BJ's - they do a great job and you can save a fortune.

If this is all too overwhelming, just call and email everyone and FB if you have to that your wedding plans will be postponed to 2019. (We had to do that due to lack of funds and we wanted a great wedding.)

I just wanted to say thank you to all of your for your advice, input, and support! Especially the support!! After discussing with my fiancee and parents, I've decided to stick with my original plan of 50 people, but to cut back at every turn--or as much as possible. Thankfully the photographer was able to give me a significant discount! I'm waiting to see if the venue can help too, and I've been looking into both fake flowers on Amazon and Etsy--and bulk wholesale flowers from places like Global Rose and Fifty Flowers. I just wanted to let you know what I decided since all of you took the time to weigh in. So much thanks, everyone!!

Our wedding was originally planned for 2016. I sent out the save the dates in June. FMIL decided to take it upon herself to email a copy of my save the date card to all of her family members and friends she thought should be there, without asking us. I was horrified! There was not any way on Earth to include these people. (FMIL is not paying for a single penny of our wedding...mind you). She added an additional 80 people by doing this. There was no way, this doubled our guest count and we wouldn't even be able to fit them into the venue at this point.

It was overwhelming and I postponed. To go through with it, it would have been $8-10K on credit cards. Nope, wasn't having it.

We postponed and now we are NOT inviting the extra people...and at this point, may even cut down the guest list even more. Maybe a serious faux paus to not invite peeps that got a save the date prior...but oh well. I am not going to go into debt over a wedding. It is ridiculous.

I say maybe just do a cake and punch reception if you are going to continue. Also, cut out the flowers. Really, no need for them. I have been to many weddings without the flowers and they were just as beautiful.

We are in the same spot! Sent the save the dates and with careful thinking we just want to cut from 80 down to 30. We felt that money should be spent elsewhere or saved and unless we see people often why are we going into debt in the first place. I think we will carefully send a notice to those no longer invited saying we apologize but we decided it’s best for us to keep the exchanging of vows very intimate and will no longer be hosting a larger wedding. We may decide to have a celebration in the spring/summer and will keep everyone posted on that!