Charging guests to come to a wedding!

It's that rude!! It's just TOO much and I think by having ANYONE willing to pay for a ticket, it reinforces terrible behavior and entitlement that gets passed on to another generation, and it just snowballs. So if it's out of ignorance, perhaps you don't have to strike them out of your life. But there's some people that really just need that slap in the face.

Side note....

@Miss Miranda for Now© Are you an NCIS fan?! Or Abby fan.... I'm a total NCIS nerd.

It is tacky! My aunt received an invitation for a wedding and she was like wow $110 per couple that's a lot. So I asked her to see the invitation and said "no it says $110 PER PERSON!!!" Both she an I were shocked. Have the wedding you can afford.

More and more common? This is only the second time I have every heard of this, and the first time was here too. It's beyond rude, and I really wonder where these couples are getting the idea that it is acceptable.

I've never heard of this, it's not acceptable in my area as far as I know and this old girl would have to decline if I ever ran into this situation!

@Katalie, what did your aunt do? I really, really want to get one of these invites now. Or hear about someone putting the bride/groom in their place, PLEASE!!

Don't people sort of have to pay anyway at any wedding?

I mean people do have to bring gifts... and looking at it in an accountant sort of way, doesn't it make up for how much money the bride/groom spend to host each guest.

As I see it, paying and not bringing a gift is the same as bringing a gift and not paying.

am I wrong?

A wedding is a hosted party on a big scale. The hosts (B/G, families maybe) give a party to celebrate an event. Guests come. Polite ones will bring a gift, like they would if they were invited to a house party.

It's not a rent party. Just EWWWW.

@Din, accounting wise, that would work out if your per person cost is less than $50, because that's about what I tend to stick to, unless I *REALLY* like you. More than that, I'm losing money.

Socially, you're treating your wedding like an event that's as important to your guests as it is to you (which it isn't) and treating it like a business transaction (which it isn't.) If the bride's best friend fell on hard times and couldn't afford a "ticket" are you not going to allow her to come?

People gift in different ways and different amounts. I appreciated the gifts of time to help set up our wedding as much as physical gifts. If someone can help in that way, you're not going to allow them to come because they can't pay?

Basically, strictly mathematically, it can make sense. But it's not math, it's people.

I think if a couple can't afford to pay for their wedding, they can choose to elope

Wow that's crazy.. I would not be at that wedding.. No way smh..

I would never pay to attend a wedding, but I usually try to give a gift to cover cost of plate for me and my guest...usually $75 to $100 if I'm close to you. I had a co worker corner me asking if she could come to my wedding and wanted to come asking if she could pay for her plate...I felt soo awkward, I think she thinks she is coming even tho she wasn't invited!!!

I'm going to a wedding in May....Invite said, we need no gifts. In lieu of gifts please bring a dish to pass. We will provide the meat and alcohol. Let's just party....

If it was someone I cared about, I'd definitely pay and try to still get them a decent gift. If it was for a distant relative's wedding, I'd politely decline, but there's fair odds of me doing that even if I don't have to pay for my attendance. It doesn't really matter to me. I've never actually heard of anting like that though...

Cash bars are a different matter though. I'm doing a cash bar because a.) I don't want to have drunk people at my wedding and b.) I don't care enough about alcohol to budget significant money for it. I live in a region where cash bars are okay, so that's fine. Charging people to attend your wedding is just rude though.

Hi everyone! I am a 39 years old woman from Quebec, Canada and I have been to 12 weddings so far. The 13th coming up next month. 8 of them had a cover charge anywhere from 35$/adult 20$/child to 75$/adult and 45$/child. That cover includes the gift so, no more expenses! Each and all of these wedding had around 100 to 300 guest. No one thought it was ridiculous, tacky, stupid or crazy! Many folks out here have friends and family who actually really wish to be part of that special day who maybe would not have happened if they wouldn't all have contributed. Its not about being cheap or not being ready. Love does NOT and should NOT rely or depend on incomes. The guest eat and dance like in any "other" wedding and drink from the cash bar. All has fun and its about the Bride & Groom! WE are happy to contribute to a loved couple special Day and WE will have the same warm hearted kinda people at our wedding! Don't be so closed minded! Its 2014!

Im in quebec and most weddings i attend now are like this. I have one this saturday for a couain costing us 90$ per person..have had 4 to oay in the last 2 years. Meanwhile my bf and i are not married yet as i refuse to charge! Nooo way!! How embarassing..we are putting money aside to pay it ourselves thank you!!!

If you are thinking to do this you are progressive in your thinking and ahead of the curve. Most people who are outraged by this idea are either cheap skates with their money or their minds will never be open, hopefully they don't procreate.

The good thing about charging for cover/dinner fee is that you give the decision making power back to the guest. Do you really want to share this special day with us? If so, you are in complete control wtih who you want to bring, what you want to order, etc. Don't see something on the menu? Request it and you wont feel bad because you are the one that will be paying for it....

Also it removes people who don't really want to come to your wedding, if you can't dish out $50 bucks to come then you dont really want to be there...and therefore more room for others that do. Also it takes care of noshows, people who said yes, costed you teh money and never bothered to show up which is F'd up.

Lastly, I would not accept any gifts, the gift would be the collective presence of those who really wanted to be there.

I'm invited to a wedding that will take place in just under a month. The invites (Facebook event...) were sent out not even 2 months ago and 3 days ago, they posted that the price per guest is $150, and that they expext a deposit or the full amount in 2 weeks. There has not been any mention whatsoever before this that guests are expected to pay. I should also mention that barely a month ago I was informed I'm also a bridesmaid. And yes, even the bridal party has to pay this fee. I've been to many weddings, both large and small and I have never heard of people charging their guests. The couple in question are not by any means struggling with money. They have kept thier guestlist to under 60 people, only 43 have confirmed. I'm in utter shock that they are charging GUESTS to come celebrate with them. If you're going to charge your guests, maybe include that information with your invite before getting people to confirm and then slamming them with a $150 bill a month before the wedding.

View Quoted Comment 😶😶😶What?! No. Omg no no no no no. Please say you are sitting that one out??

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Love never ever depends on incomes but passing the cost on to your guests is entitling yourself to a party you have planned and can't afford.