Charging guests to come to a wedding!

Dang it, zombie thread

I think it’s tacky but after reading the comments that people wrote I wonder. Usually as a gift to the bride or groom your supposed to pay for your plate and some extra that’s etiquette. But people show up no gift +3 guest to eat and get drunk. So now I’m seeing maybe for some people charging before hand isn’t a bad idea. I’d never do it cause I’m not inviting uncultured people to my wedding but for other it might be a necessity especially if funds are low. Weddings are not cheap.

Don't want to pay to attend the wedding. That's cool. Or don't like that you have to pay for your reception lunch or dinner meal? That's fine too. Remember, you are a guest who was invited to celebrate the bride and groom's special day. None of these things make the bride and groom rude. You are not entitled to anything. Heck, you aren't even required to go to make their day special. That's why they give you the option to decline the invitation if you want to. No one is forcing you to go or pay. If anything, only close friends and immediate family will go and in my opinion would make the day more special.

If one of my friends or family members said they were charging people who wanted to attend their wedding and to celebrate their big day I would be fine paying. Honestly, I'd even be fine with paying for my lunch/dinner at the reception. I find it petty that some people were complaining about having to pay for their own meal at a wedding (makes it sound like those people only wanted free food).

Luckily my fiancé and I are getting married at city hall. It will just be the two of us and our photographer. We didn't want a large ceremony or a big reception because we'd rather spend our money on traveling for an extended honeymoon together, than having a big wedding/reception that only lasts a day.

Wow! I think charging for a wedding is a big mistake. My husband and I have 6 kids together and he paid in full or in part for all 6 weddings. We never charged anyone anything and we worked within a budget framework. All of the weddings were very nice and the kids were very happy with them. We went to great lengths to make sure our guests felt welcome and comfortable and to navigate any potential pitfalls so as to avoid any hard feelings over what should be a fun occasion. We loved that people brought their kids, as a wedding is the beginning of a new family and close friends/siblings are usually family age. It was fun to watch children laugh and play on the dance floor or lawn.

I was recently invited to my first "pay to play" wedding. It involved footing the bill for an expensive resort room or paying an $85 entry fee per person. So even if you made other lodging arrangements you still had to pay to attend the wedding (so family of 4 would have a $340 entry fee plus $10 for parking spot, I am not sure what the chair rental fee was, lol) It struck me that they were trying to have a wedding that they could not afford and insulting a lot of people along the way. Friendships and family bonds could be altered for decades. I simply rsvp'd "not attending" and sold the gift I was hand beading for the bride online. So, I guess for me, I saved a lot of time and money. People can have whatever kind of wedding they want, but starting out your life together in that way is a poor choice and unfortunately choices have consequences.

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LOL, I think they want you to pay and bring a gift! A recent invitation I received had an $85 per person charge and they asked for cash via Venmo for a gift. I can't afford these type of relationships!