Charity Registry

I wouldn't do that. I would just take what cash you're given and privately donate it.

That is a fine line to walk. Personally, I am sure to research all of the charities I give to (also previously worked in the nonprofit sector). There are charities that use donations well and others that spend frivolously.

EVERYONE SHOULD RESEARCH CHARITIES BEFORE DONATING A DIME.

I would not want someone to force their charitable decisions on me. Keep the registry small.

Just as bad as a Honeyfund. You're still asking people to give cash, and even worse, pushing your own political agenda on them. In a way, this is worse than a Honeyfund.

Oh, and it's still panhandling, just in the name of charities YOU support.

Just don't register, let people give you cash, and donate it as you see fit without making a big ordeal about it.

Emily Post frowns upon this. I wish I had my book to cite the exact reasons, but there are the obvious risks of sounding self-congratulatory, like you said. Also, everyone has charities that are special to them, and they may not like the one you choose. I think @LG has the best idea. Just make a small registry, so people get the hint you want cash and then donate whatever cash you get to the charity of your choice.

There's also the tax write off aspect - some people get offended that you would get money back (essentially) next year.

Charity registry sound great in theory but they fall apart under closer inspection

Idk if I have an opinion on this. The host of the radio show I listen to in the mornings did this. The show has their own charity that send chronically and terminally ill kids to Disney every year and she went with some of the kids from past years to target to register for toys, coloring books, sunscreen, clothes, etc. for them to use on the trip for this year and future trips. I bought a Darth Vader mask through her registry.

She's kind of a public figure though so I can understand why she did it. I personally would just accept the cash and donate it myself.

http://www.11alive.com/mb/news/local/moments/couple-donates-entire-wedding-registry-to-berts-big-adventure/364843309

I have a strong opinion on charities, donations and companies that donate to the less fortunate for you. I would be very upset if someone took the money that I intended for them as a gift and donated it without my permission/knowledge. I don't donate to charities unless they are the local ones around my area. Go and watch Poverty Inc on Netflix. It changed my World when I watched it.

What MNA said, it comes off gross.

I also think saying "registry" and "we don't need anything" in the same post is pretty gross. If you really don't need anything why the heck are you creating or thinking about a registry at all? If you have that much money you truly don't need anything, don't ask for anything.

Wow, I'm surprised. I would've thought of a charity positively as long as there were multiple charities to choose from. I always wished I were the type of person who would do a charity registry, but I'm too greedy I will use this discussion as my excuse for not being selfless and having a charity fund... lol

I am shocked at how many people are negative on this. I think it is the nicest idea in the world. I'm sure most people would welcome the opportunity to do something for a greater good with money they were probably going to spend anyway which would otherwise have benefited only the couple. If people are that cynical and jaded (AHEM) that they would actually rather buy you a toaster, well then let them. You can donate the toaster to a shelter or something.

If I was the guest I would not think it was self-congratulatory at all. Unless the couple orchestrating the donations presented that way in general. And it certainly cant be any less tactful than blatantly asking/expecting your guests to shell out $50 a place setting for expensive china or fully stock you new apartment with amenities and small appliances in the exact color and specifications you desire. I would 100% feel so much better knowing my gift was going to help a lot of people than if I had bought that matching hand towel/wash cloth combo.

I think the key is leave the options open. Suggest a favorite charity of the bride and the groom but let the guests choose their own favorite of they aren't comfortable with yours.

In terms of guests getting upset that the bride and groom would get some sort of tax write off this is flawed on all levels. The donor gets the tax write off not the person the make the donation in honor of. If you go the other way and the bride and groom privately donate any cash gifts the receive the giver will never know and have nothing to be upset about.

Lastly to the person who would be "very upset" if someone donated their monetary gift to charity...yikes.

Chiming in because I think the etiquette has changed quite a lot since this post was made in 2017 as more and more youth are becoming socially and environmentally conscious. In the past 3 years, I personally have seen more and more of my friends putting charities on their registry. They did this because:

1) They don't want people just giving them random things. If you don't have a registry at all, relatives and friends will just buy random appliances because, to quote my grandmother every Christmas I tell her I don't need anything, "I have to get you SOOOMMMEETTHIING to unwrap."

2) It allows the guest to receive any potential deductible on the donation instead of the B&G. Having a Charity Registry limits the amount of hands the money passes through. Obviously, if the B&G receive a cash gift, they can still donate it; giving the guest a choice allows them to psychologically feel like they still picked you out of gift.

3) It is no longer self-congratulatory. Unless you make a big show about how you are way better than everyone else because you gave your wedding gifts to charity with a full PR stunt, I don't think anyone would (or should) call you out for ulterior motives. Plus, it isn't more self-congratulatory then telling your guest to buy you a Kitchen Aid Mixer and a Vitamix.

My FH and I have talked about it. We will both be 28 when we get married, and we both have lived on our own since 21 (18 if you count dorm life). Everything that we needed to survive, we would have bought 3 years ago. We plan on putting a few items on our registry (new glasses to replace the cracked ones, some matching towels for the guest bathroom, etc.) but also including a "Bride's Choice" and "Groom's Choice" for a charity. We plan on thoroughly vetting the Nonprofit organizations KPI's to ensure we are choosing the most beneficial organizations before endorsing them to our friends and family members.

A charity fund has the same stigma as a honeymoon fund. Research the charity and donate your own money.


If you have all the staple things that you need, make a fun registry. You can go to the same stores: Bed Bath and Beyond or Target or wherever and register for fun stuff you would like. Card games, a shared hobby, etc.

We did both so people would have the option. Some people we spoke with were shocked and upset when we initially only planned on providing a few our favorite charities to donate in our names instead of gift registries.

So, we adjusted a bit and made two small gift registries with a variety of price ranged gifts. And noted that while we would be happy to receive gifts, we would prefer charitable donations. So far most have opted for gifts (even a number of gifts that weren't on our registries), but a couple of my friends also made charitable donations in our names.

I think people are going to do what they want, regardless of what you request in terms of gifts, so you may as well make it easy for them go whichever way they prefer, and hopefully avoid gifts that are REALLY completely useless or not to your taste.