Charity Registry

Some guests may not want to donate but rather gift the money to you while others may not have an issue with this.

The best thing you could probably do is to not register, that'll give guests the idea that you're requesting money, then donate it all if you so wish to a charity of your choice. No one has to know what you do with the money.

I'm in the same boat - we are using thegoodbeginning.com so we can at least send a thank you after the fact. It is our only registry.

Just don't register. How would you even track that? It's like a nerve racking way to see who "gave you gifts" based on how much they donate?

I'm not registering, should be a-okay.

I don't think it's any different than asking guests for money (huge faux pas). It would be okay if you just didn't register or say anything about gifts, and then decided to donate any monetary gifts you receive to your favorite charity.

I would not ask guests to donate on my behalf. If anything I would take what was given to me and donate it on my own.

I so agree with @Richard. Gift giving/receiving is a two-way street. It's just as joyful (for most at least) to give a gift and it should be accepted with grace.

Absolutely not okay. If you want the money to go to charity, just quietly donate it after the wedding. You can't ask people for money. Period.

Was thinking something along the lines of putting on our wedding website, "The bride and are excited to share our special day with family and friends. The only gift we request is your presence! However, if you feel compelled to give a gift, the bride and groom have chosen a couple charities that you may donate to in our name."

No?

It is something he feels very strongly about.

If you want to give to charity just donate the money to charity. People don't all support the same charity. And a lot of people have strong feelings for or against some charities

I am super picky about the charities to which I chose to donate. If you told me which ones you wanted me to donate to, and they were ones I didn't feel comfortable donating to, I wouldn't do it. And I'd get you a gift instead, because I love to give gifts.

Just don't register, and donate any money you receive if you really want it to go to charity.

He doesn't celebrate Christmas. And I don't know why exactly he hates it so much but he does. He hasn't accepted any gifts in many years. His mother, brother, and I know better than to give him gifts. I've tried to explain to him many times that people enjoy GIVING gifts to people they love, but he really doesn't understand it. He seems to be missing the "gift" gene. He just really doesn't "get" it. It's not something he is going to get over.

Asta I know right?! So weird to me but it is just a "thing" with him and it's something not worth fighting with him about anymore lol

Well he is going to have to get the fuck over it. Part of functioning in a society involves giving and receiving gifts. Wedding gifts, a fruit basket from a client, a Thanksgiving turkey from his boss--it's a normal part of life. He can have whatever strange internal feelings he wants to about the subject, but he needs to graciously receive what he is given. Tell him to put on his big boy pants and deal with it.

We did the whole secret santa thing at work and the lady I got wanted her secret santa to donate to a charity. I got her a bunch of tea and a mug instead.

Regardless of whether you put something on your website requesting no gifts or requesting donations, some people will still give YOU TWO a gift to celebrate the occasion. You can't stop that. What is he going to do - send these gifts back to people? I find his attitude obnoxious to be honest. Why can't he just gracefully accept gifts? Accept the gifts and show appreciation by sending a personal thank you note. That is is how it works.

I wouldn't ask that of my guests. A previous wedding my fiancé attended requested that guests donate to charity in lieu of gifts, and now we get spam mail ALL the time from this charity asking for additional donations - I kid you not probably 1-2 times weekly.

I'm just going to throw this in the mix. As with everything you see, I think a lot of it comes from 'knowing your crowd.' That being said, my FH and I have been together for almost 10 years. We don't need anything. But we are big animal lovers and everyone knows that our two rescue cats are our babies. So we put on our website that in lieu of gifts, IF our guests wish to, they can bring a donation of litter or food, or they may directly donate to the charity we will send the litter/food on to.

We did not register anywhere and don't intend to. And if no one brings a damn thing- we don't care as long as they enjoy the party. And if they bring us a toaster, I'll probably use it. Mine is getting a bit old....

This has been VERY well received by our guests so far. Like... I'm a little worried about the wedding day because I have had more than a few tell me they are stocking up on food and litter when they find it on sale.... I may need a freaking U-Haul to bring it all out of there.

So, again. I think a lot of it is just knowing your crowd and what will and won't go over well. There are a lot of etiquette tips that, honestly, if 'my crowd' knew about them, they'd flip out and ask why there were such crazy rules. And the there are some that would get you condemned to the seventh level of hell for breaking. You kinda gotta roll with it.

Here’s the thing, I have a list of organisations who I absolutely will not give money to, if one of those organisations was the charity for your wedding, I wouldn’t give money to it. I would either donate to a charity of MY choice or give you a physical gift.

We have been together for over 4 years, own our home and don't feel the need to have people buy us stuff we don't need. We asked for no gifts or money. If anyone feels obligated to do something, we listed our favorite charity to donate to if they wish. I personally don't think what we did is tacky because we specifically said no gifts/money. Some people feel like they have to do something so we opted for this.

I want to give you a gift, but if you're going to just donate it and not use it then I as a guest don't feel I should get you a gift. You can use the money and donate it. Because once they give it it is yours.