Child-free wedding drama

At five months, there's a good chance the baby will still be solely breastfed, and the length of a wedding is too long to be separated from mom. That's the answer if you do let the baby come and people ask why not their kids.

Because their 12 year old likely isn't nursing and can be without mom for a few hours. Infants sleep 80% of the time and will likely sleep through the ceremony. You should also trust that mom knows to take a crying baby out of a wedding ceremony.

I feel like a wedding is no place for a four month old to begin with, but that's just my opinion! We are personally not having a child free wedding, though if we had more kids in the family we might have considered this. Don't freak out, I think you should just explain the situation to BM and his wife. Let them know that you're pumped for them that they just had a baby, but you are planning a child free wedding and it would be very unfair for you to make an exception for them and not for anyone else. I think you should be firm, because once you give in to one person, everyone else will expect you to make an exception for them too.

One of my friends had a baby right before a wedding her husband was the best man in but her husband's parents were also invited so they held the baby in the back and could make a quick exit if need be. She stayed at the reception for a bit and left.

Another one of our friends had a three month old at that same wedding and her mom stayed at the hotel with the baby and she went upstairs if she needed to feed him.

If they are booking hotels, it sounds like they are traveling for the wedding. Let them bring the baby. If anyone asks why “so-and-so’s baby” is here and not their kid, just say the baby is still breast feeding and physically can’t be separated from mom for that long. If I had a toddler and was invited to a child-free wedding I’d say great and let my kid have a fun weekend with grandparents, but a 4 month year old baby? No, I’d decline if I couldn’t bring the baby. I’d also be very hurt that my friends didn’t trust me enough as a parent to take the baby out of the room if it was fussing.

Many, many women go back to work with an infant. Where I work, we had to add a second lactation room.

And MANY new parents will not take an infant out if the infant makes noise. They are so convinced that their baby is special, and the noise is pleasant to them.

You have my sympathy.

Non-family children are particularly problematic as many people will not want to sit at reception with the kid. If I have to leave my kid home, I don't want to sit with your kid.

I agree with you 100%. Everyone is going to have their version of why their kid should be there. We offered multiple suggestions and were shot down on each. The BM finally said he'll just come and leave his wife and baby at home but I'm feeling anxious because I know she's mad about it.

I'm sorry they're giving you such a hard time. Iw ould be anxious about it as well, but it's not fair to you to have to feel that way! It's your wedding day, and you made it clear fro the beginning no kids. If you've offered multiple suggestions I hate to say it, but it just seems like there's nothing else you can do but accept his wife not coming and pouting. It seems to me like they were dead set on you caving. Maybe when they see you aren't budging they will figure some way for both of them to attend.

I honestly was leaning toward asking her to skip the ceremony and allowing the baby at the reception. I hadn't even thought about guests being inconvenienced by sitting with the baby. Ugh. There are so many layers.

I do trust that they'd leave but that wouldn't change the fact that it would cause a disruption, even if it's short.

You're obviously set on your decision. Simply tell them "I'm sorry, the baby is not welcome at the wedding," and they will figure out how to handle it.