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Chelsea
Dedicated January 2020

Childhood bestfriend dropped out of wedding party

Chelsea, on March 26, 2018 at 12:47 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3
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While planning my wedding party, I was struggling with the decision about if I wanted to ask my childhood best friend to be a bridesmaid. Even though we haven't been super close since we graduated high school because our lives went in different directions, we still call or text each other on birthdays and holidays. Although I chose one of my closer college friends to be my MOH, I decided that because of our history. I should at least make her a bridesmaid. I asked her and she agreed. I asked her to write a little paragraph about herself and send me a picture for the wedding website. After a few months of her not getting back to me, I texted her and asked her for it again. She called me back a day later and said she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid because my wedding isn't a priority in her life and she wasn't going to do what I asked of her on my timeline. She says she still wants to be a guest at the wedding. Now I have to fill a spot in the bridal party and decide if I actually want to invite her to the wedding. Is it selfish that since she said my wedding isn't important to her, that I don't really want her there anymore?

3 Comments

Latest activity by Jo, on March 30, 2018 at 8:23 AM
  • Heather
    Devoted June 2018
    Heather ·
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    Is the date listed on your profile of January 2020 correct for your wedding? If so, it's too early to be making any of these decisions yet as relationships change.

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  • J
    Just Said Yes May 2019
    Jessica ·
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    It depends. Was she rude about it when she backed out of being in the wedding? Or was she just being honest saying that she couldn't handle being a part of it? After being in 4 weddings, I've learned that honesty is best when you're asked to be in a wedding. Being in a wedding takes up a lot of personal time and money, and if you're not that close anymore, that may be why she doesn't want to necessarily be in the wedding. If she was rude and just plain out mean about it, I wouldn't invite her, but if she presented it in a different way and simply couldn't handle being in a wedding right now, I'd still invite her.

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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
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    I'm sorry to hear you and she are going through a rough patch. It's still a long way off from your wedding, I would not make any decisions now about selecting your wedding party or deciding whether to invite her or not. Let it be for a while and see how your friendship goes. Maybe she's going through a rough patch, maybe you'll drift closer together or further apart. See what happens and make your decision closer to your wedding date.

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