I have a friend who I used to consider to be my bestfriend for years. We went to separate colleges and kind of drifted apart due to distance. Even though we didn't talk or hang out as much, I felt like we had an unspoken bond where we could get back together and hang out and everything felt like it used to. Well, she got engaged and I was so excited and thought I would be a bridesmaid. I got her a nice handmade engagement gift and met up with her and gave it to her. I mentioned briefly her bachelorette party and she never hinted on anything about it. Come to find out a couple weeks later she choose other people to be her bridesmaids (6) and I was not one. I found out on Instagram and had no warning. Her bridesmaid proposal gift to them were cups that matched the one I bought her for her engagement gift. I was hurt to say the least and heard from another friend that she asked if I was upset with her about anything. Therefore, she knew me being hurt was a possibility and yet never spoke to me about it. She got married last year and I was invited as a guest.
Anyways, with all that in mind I have always envisioned her with me on my wedding day. Would it be naïve of me to still include her as a bridesmaid even though I was not asked to be one of hers? I am struggling with making sure I do not hold a grudge or feel bitterness towards her on my wedding day. Out of the people I have to choose from for this bridesmaid spot, I have known her the longest. I just hate to feel the one-sidedness of friendships and don't want to forget the hurt I felt when I was not chosen. I am used to people telling me I let others walk all over me and so I am proceeding with caution.
What is your opinion?
