Church vs Venue Ceremony

I think it’s always easier for everyone to have the ceremony and reception at the same place especially since you said you don’t have a specific home church that is important for you to be married in.

View Quoted Comment Very good point! Thank you!

Hi Jennifer!
We are having a formal morning wedding in my FH's family's 158 year old church. I know we will have a beautiful ceremony. However, we are having a brunch reception. There is absolutely nothing wrong having a chuch ceremony then leave for your reception venue afterwards. Most people do.

I do agree with Kelly that it is easier to have ceremony and reception in the same place, but sometimes you can't. Our church doesnt allow alcohol or dancing on the premises. We respect that and thus having our reception elsewhere and no one disapproves. Hope this helps?

I've been to church weddings followed by open bar receptions at a different venue and I never thought it was wrong. I never thought about it at all, honestly. I personally think it's fine.

We went back and forth with this decision as well but we ultimately decided to have the ceremony at the venue instead of a church. It's far more convenient for all involved and we aren't that religious anyway.

View Quoted Comment I really think it's totally fine to have a religious wedding and then a traditional reception with all things included. I guess I'm more worried of what people might think, being a paranoid bride, because I am not like that outside of my wedding planning bubble. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment I'm trying to please my dad with the church wedding, however, he hardly goes to church himself. My grandparents on the other side, are true believers of all things religious.

View Quoted Comment Just my opinion, if your Dad is helping pay for your wedding, then by all means have a church service to keep him and your grandparents happy. Then go to your reception venue. No body will even blink at that. This is just me, though. I want you to have the wedding you've always wanted. THIS IS YOUR DAY!! ❤❤ I knew after the proposal that we'd be expected to marry in his old family church, so it was something I knew ahead of time even though I don't attend there.

It’s a lot more convenient to have everything at the same venue. How much does your church cost vs having it at the venue?

Also no transportation cost for going from ceremony to reception if everything is at the same location.

Thank you so much! I love how you all have different advice! I so added them to our pros and cons list. Yes, I really had to make one.

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I disagree. I would not have a marriage ceremony I did not believe in to appease my family. Church ceremonies are incredibly meaningful for people who follow that faith; to do one just to go through the motions for sake of appearances is not something I would be comfortable with.

We had a civil ceremony at our venue. H and I were in total agreement that if his parents made any comments about the lack of religion in the ceremony, or pushed for a religious ceremony, we would decline or return any money they offered us.

We got married in a church in a city nearly 2 hours away mainly because the church was beautiful and we attended their Christmas Eve service the night DH proposed. Neither of us go to church but I grew up going to church. We then had an open bar reception with 2 live bands at a gorgeous hotel within 10 minutes drive from the church. There is nothing morally wrong with having a church ceremony and an open bar for your reception. After all, Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding when all the wine ran out.

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I was also going to do it to please my dad, but I ultimately felt like we were doing it for the wrong reasons. He's still confused about what it our ceremony consists of since there's no mass We have time so things can can change but I don 't see our minds changing on this regardless of anyone's opinions on the matter.

When do you need to make a decision? Do you have some time to think about it?

View Quoted Comment We do have time we just need to have our mind set once we start on invitations...so about two months...

Please do not have a church wedding to please anyone. It is a big deal to get married in a church - lots of meetings, lots of planning and lots of work. (Trust me.) But the bigger issue is why would you get married anywhere just to please others? As someone who got married the first time in a church the first time, I know this subject, lol. And it was just a regular Lutheran church. We had an open bar/dance afterwards - lot of people do this.

As a teen we went to a wedding in a Catholic church and the priest (who was close with the family) was dancing all night - he had a few drinks in him! He was a hoot!

View Quoted Comment Hi! I misspoke. Yes, his family is expecting us to marry in their 158 year old church ( his famly is a founding family), but we both want to do it. I'm excited to be part of this tradition. I've always wanted to be married in an old, historical church, and now I am.
No one should marry in a church, or any other place, unless it is what they want. Thank you for mentioning this so I could clairfy.

I think it all comes down to want you want! I work for a church (children’s minister) and my FH is studying to be a pastor- so for us a church ceremony at the church we love and respect (and both attended) was a for sure no questions asked thing. And then we are having a reception in the next town over to celebrate with a bar- as we enjoy having adult beverages respectfully. So I guess the answer is if a couple of pastors do not think it’s morally wrong, other people will not be offended either haha

We’re having ceremony and reception at our venue. It was just easier as far as not living, no additional cost, no transportation set up regarding leaving ceremony to reception. We both grew up going to church but as adults we aren’t big church goers, he has a church home but again we go a couple times a year. I almost went with the church wedding just because it’s traditional but nothing him and I have done has been traditional thus far so why start now lol

Ok so I got some good poiners! Do what I want if I really want it, it's not morally wrong to have an open bar after a church ceremony, do not please anyone (because FH and I will be paying for everything), and most importantly it's my wedding be happy!

This is literally my first post on wedding wire, but I came on here to see what others have said on this thread because I'm in the same situation and posted about it on weddingbee and literally got people attacking my character! They all said how I was an awful Catholic for thinking about having a church ceremony when I don't go to church weekly. So sort of off topic(and sorry OP for hijaking your post lol), but thank you to you guys for simply just being kind!