Co-ed Shower invites

I would not invite people to a pre-wedding event (especially one centered around gift giving) if they aren't invited to the wedding.

No. If you're not inviting them to the wedding, you shouldn't invite them to bring you a gift at a shower.

Definitely not. That’s super insulting because you’re basically telling people “you’re important enough to come to this smaller, less expensive, pre-wedding event to give me gifts and celebrate me, but NOT important enough to come to the wedding.”


The only situation where this could debatably be appropriate is if you’re eloping (but even then, debatable)

I agree with everyone else to not invite people to a gift giving event in celebration of another event they are not invited to.

You could throw a low key non-gift-centered event *after* the wedding to celebrate with your friends back home. When it's after the wedding and not called a shower (which requires gifts) there is far less chance of hurt feelings or confusion from guests.

Agree with everyone else and love Maggie's idea for an event after the party!

I'm thinking maybe a pre-wedding event that is more of a "farewell, going to get married" reception centered around light food and drinks versus using the term shower. I can care less about the gifts - we already have a home and arent hurting for anything - but there are local people who do want to celebrate with us.

After our wedding, we will be gone for 2 weeks, and frankly - I don't want to do any more wedding stuff. It's already dragggggging on. I'm ready to be done with it and get back to life.

I see everyone's point in that the term "shower" seems like the buzz word to "bring a gift". Not what I'm going for, so thank you!

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I love that idea as well, Maggie. I'm thinking maybe pre-wedding versus post, have it 2 weeks before the wedding and calling it a "celebrate with us/going away (to get married)" type of thing - with drinks and light food. If people want to bring gifts, they can - but there won't be a gift table, etc. (aka - an expectation).

After the wedding, I don't want to do another party. I'm already so done with this. LOL!