cocktail hour then cash bar

I think heavy apps can work if they truly provide enough food to make up a full meal. Sorry though, I think it's very unfair that some people will have their booze paid for and everyone else will have a cash bar. Everyone should be treated the same.

For me the cash bar isn't a huge deal because I'm not much of a drinker. I would however want to be fed a nice meal. Especially if its going straight through dinner time. Personally, I would skip the apps and go for a meal. If you want it more relaxed, do a buffet where people could get what they want when they want so not everyone is eating at once. I hate waiting for appetizers to come around to me and I feel if I take more than one I'm being greedy, and there won't be much for the next people. With that said, it is your wedding and you have free will to do what you want. If your guests are mostly family, you could easily get things out by word of mouth to them. Regardless of what you do, I'm sure your wedding will be great.

I am having a cash bar. My wedding is on a Monday and open bar was going to cost me 4k. Uh no. Not happening...plus we don't drink. But I have never been to a weddin in this area with an open bar so it's not weird to me. Actually most weddings I've been to I've even had to pay for soda. With my wedding I am paying for soda/juice/tea which was like $700.

I'm just putting it on my website and spreadin by word of mouth.

I’m also from CA and cash bars are very prevalent. Cash/Open bar is 50/50 with the weddings I’ve attended. I think it’s nice to provide alcohol throughout the cocktail hour and it’s completely fine that it goes to cash bar after that. I would direct guests to a website per the invite with the details of your wedding. I don’t think there should be a separate tab for anyone; if you want to do a nice gesture for the bridal party I would pay for something extra or get them an extra gift. As far as a heavy app reception….I would be fine and full from it personally…as long as there were vegetarian options : )

Lindsay, funny you say that. My MOH is a vegetarian but eats seafood so some of our apps are especially for her like mini crab cakes & shrimp cocktail That's another big reason we didn't do buffet because I don't know how well seafood would do on the buffet.

I am also having a cash bar, our wedding is on a Sunday plus a two hour drive away from the metro area. I rarely drink and my FH doesn't drink, we feel if you want to get drunk do it on your own dime. We are serving a very nice dinner and all other drinks are included with it including champagne.

@Whitney…I think as long as you have an array of appetizers it’ll be great. I would do a combination of red meat, chicken, seafood like you said, and meatless.

Guests should NEVER assume a wedding is open bar. They can be informed when at the bar to purchase the drinks that it is compliments of the bride and groom. I've been to several weddings like this. They tell us that bar is open for a limited amount of time. I personally think it's tacky when people overdrink because it is open bar. I've seen it and just don't get it. You're there for a wedding this isn't a keg party and if you really want to consume that much then you should have already planned to bring cash. I've never been able to start a tab at ANY wedding.

View Quoted Comment You don't.... stick to the free soda. I can't stand drunk guests and other than the reception hour I was not paying for drunkenness. If it had been up to me I would have had just the reception hour then no alcohol. But settled on a cash bar per hubby's request and still had to drive drunk guests home from my own wedding. Dealing with impaired guests is what's tacky.

The biggest lie as far as food is concerned in the Wedding Industry is that appetizer receptions are cheaper. When done properly, heavy appetizers is actually 3x the amount of food as is served at a plated meal. A caterer who skimps and serves less for a heavy appetizers reception has no clue what they are doing and has no business serving customers. If you are on a tight budget, get restaurant catering which is more food than a typical plated meal at half the price, and better quality.


As far as drinks, it is the height of rudeness to ask guests to open their wallets at a party you are hosting. If you cannot afford to cover expenses for all guests, don’t offer it for anyone. A dry wedding with fancy mocktails is preferable to asking guests to pay for something you can’t or don’t want to afford.
Etiquette says that this is not something that you announce beforehand either. So an insert is not appropriate, nor is word of mouth. If someone feels that they cannot enjoy themselves without alcohol, that is a them problem and they are better off declining the invitation.