Cold Feet or End?

I feel like in your post when you said you want to be free you already answered your own question. It sounds like you feel trapped and a marriage shouldn't feel that way. You should feel giddy and excited about getting married, not full of doubt. Marriage is a huge decision and you should feel 100% sure, especially with kids in the mix. Good luck, but follow your heart and don't get into a marriage if you feel you'll regret it.

I think that you need to see a therapist both as in individual and also as a couple, in the meantime, you should delay the wedding. I wish you the best of luck.

I agree with this... you guys, or even just you, should seek a therapist or counselor. but saying this to him is a HUGE statement. I hope you can find closure, no matter what it takes. Luck to you.

I agree with @VC, you answered your own question.

I don't think you should "walk away"- after all, you have two children with this man so it's not that simple. But you need to have an open and honest conversation with him and figure out where the root of your doubts lie.

Oh, tough. Life can be so hard! If it were me and I had two kids together I would postpone the wedding and definitely go to counseling. These moments may pass and you might learn a lot about each other and end up really happy OR you will realize this was never going to work in the first place, but at least you tried. I am sure the kids would like to see a happy mom and dad. Good luck!

100% do not get married. I mean if you think marriage counseling will help then try that. I couldn't marry someone I am not in love with. That is the exact reason my first marriage ended. It is not fair to anyone.

I would postpone the wedding- I don't think you need to give up on the relationship all together but maybe do some premarital counseling and make sure this is what you really want. Relationships and people change for everyone- the difference is deciding to work with that person every day for the rest of your lives. You have children together so that will always be apart of your dynamic but you don't need to be married. Take some time, get some professional assistance. Make sure this is what you BOTH want. You will either find your relationship and love stronger than ever, or learn you need a new dynamic.

I think if you are questioning any part and havent sent invites cause you are not sure, then you either need to post pone till you figure it out or you need to walk.

OP.

The fact that you have 2 kids with this man means that you are already forever tied to him. As someone who is divorced, with a child from that marriage, trust me when I say that having children together is a WAY bigger commitment then marrying someone.

I can't live where I want to (I have to be withing xx mikes of my ex h), I have to share custody of my precious child, and while I did meet someone amazing whom I love and will be sharing my life with, being a single parent is no joke. It drained me emotionally, physically and financially. And I only have one child, and I also had a lot of help from family.

To marry him seems like just a tiny bridge to me. That is not what I would even be flipping out about. Postpone the wedding and get yourselves into couples counseling like YESTERDAY. You shouldn't even be worrying about if you should go through with the wedding because this relationship doesn't sound quite right.

Does your Fiance work? I am a little confused by the set up (because you said he was home with your kids while you work) . If you do decide to split, how will you care for your self and two very young children on 12 hours a week worth of work? If you do decide to split, and you have to work full time, who will watch your kids? These are all very, very important things that you need to ask yourself.

So while I don't mean to make light of getting divorced, you are tied to this man for life twice over already. A wedding at this point should be in the back of your mind while you sort out a lot of very grown up details. Good luck.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I agree with most others on here that you should be 100% sure you want to get married. Once you're married things will be complicated moreso than if you were to separate now.

If you didn't have children I'd tell you maybe walk away, but since you do, that's a stronger tie and you need to try and work on these issues. Maybe postpone the wedding. I firmly believe that if you both want to stay together you can heal your relationship, but it sounds like couples/family counseling may be a good idea. It's very possible you're getting cold feet so if that is the case, you don't want to throw away your attachment to your childrens' father over it. But you can't go on with your current plans having these negative thoughts and pretend like nothing's wrong.

That said, we are a bunch of internet randoms that came here to discuss centerpieces - talk to close friends, family, or a faith leader about this before you make any kind of decision.

Did op ever come back with an update?