Comments About Not Being Married

I’m a vary private person and don’t have many friends, so I’m hoping to get advise or thoughts on some comments my fiancé and I have been hearing lately.



A little back story about us. We met in early 2011 and moved in together by the end of the year. We were both 21, not the best paying jobs so we lived with his parents until we could get on our feet and then stayed a little longer to help them out financially. My fiancé proposed to me in 2017, we were all scheduled to get married next Saturday but postponed to October 2021. While our timeline is longer than most, it has worked for us and I know that’s what matters.

So recently some of my fiancé’s friends, who I’ve known for many years, have been making comments to him about how unhappy they are in their marriages or what issues they are having with their wife, etc. When my fiancé shares his griefs with them (mind you his griefs are nothing overly serious, but no relationship is perfect, right!) they say things like “Oh it gets worse” or “You’ll see someday” implying that their issues are so much worse because they are married or something.

It’s been making me feel like people don’t see our relationship as a serious or committed one because we haven’t gotten married yet. We have joint bills, we talk about money & our future, we have a dog together, an apartment, etc. We’ve never broken up and gotten back together. We’ve stuck with each other all these years. Longer than just about all the other couples we know. Just because we haven’t gotten married yet or don’t have kids doesn’t mean it’s not real or we have our own problems.

Does anyone else get theses types of comments? How does it make you feel? If you did get these comments, how would you feel?

Just trying to understand it.