Complaining Future In-laws

You live in Washington, but booked in Orlando to make things easier for guest travel? But your families are in Canada and KY? I'm probably reading this way wrong but I'm lost lol. Was his family expecting you to have the wedding in Kentucky? Why Florida?

Yea, I have to agree that the Florida decision seems strange to me. I would've just stuck with Washington or at most gone to Kentucky.

If you're set on Florida you might have to be prepared to help the most important guests get there.

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So my family is from Canada but his is from Kentucky. My mom made us settle on a "warm" destination because we couldn't do Mexico like we originally planned. so we picked Florida to accommodate his family.

Unless you're choosing a destination wedding at a locale that has special meaning to you, a random location that is unrelated seems odd. People travel for weddings all the time so it really is normal since families don't live in the same city anymore. If you live in Washington, that makes the most sense for a venue location.

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I noticed that you said "my mom made us settle on a 'warm' destination...". Are you both not 100% wanting a warm destination wedding and are flexible with other location options? I also noticed that your wedding date is May 2022, so keep in mind there are a lot of other places that could work better for everyone that aren't Florida, but will still be warm around that timeframe!

I also just want to put it out there that our wedding is in Georgia where we live, but we have family in Michigan, Florida, the Philippines and Canada. It's nice to want to be accommodating and pick a location that is close enough for everyone, but don't ever settle on a wedding location just because family members are pouting!

You live in Washington, so your guests will/should be more than understanding as to why the wedding location is in Washington!

You cannot please everyone. Host your wedding where your home is (the home that you and your fiancé are creating). It will make planning much easier too.
Best wishes ... ‘cause there will always be someone who isn’t getting what they want and letting you know they don’t like your decision

If you're family is going to have to travel anyway, and his wont' go. why would you not have the wedding closer to his family? That makes no sense to me, especially when you chose a super random destination thats inconvenient for everyone (including yourselves).

While it is nice of you to try to accommodate your guests, my thought is this: when family and friends all live in different areas, people are going to have to travel. By doing it in Florida, you're having everyone travel vs. one side or the other. If you had it in Washington, your family may not be traveling as far and it sounds like you have friends in the area. If you had it in Kentucky, his family wouldn't have to travel far. But if you have it in Florida, everyone has to travel. If you want a destination wedding that is fine, but if you're doing it just for the sake of family traveling, I wouldn't. Kentucky is warmer in May, is it not? Is there a reason you don't want to do it in Kentucky since it seems that his family are the ones unwilling to travel? I've never been so I literally know nothing about it.

I feel you on this. We live in California and some family and friends live in Kansas while some live in Arkansas and some live in a lot of other places. When we wanted to have it where we live a lot of people got really mad so we found a place in Arkansas and those same people are still mad. But ultimately we are happy and they were going to be upset basically unless we had the wedding down the street from their house. In the end you just have to do what's best for you. But it does suck and it is discouraging.

Honestly, I understand his family's frustration because I don't understand your logical. You said that you didn't pick to get married in Washington because you didn't want to make them travel just for you, but yet you picked Florida where literally everyone will have to travel. I also don't understand why your mom is getting a say in where you get married. You are marrying your fiancé not your mom so the decision of where you get married should be between you and him. If it were me, I would pick a location that isn't going to inconvenience everyone including you and your fiancé.

Where is the Canada family located? I'm trying to understand if you're saying it's unfair to the Kentucky family because the Canada family is in BC and therefore a lot closer to Washington, or if it's just unfair to everyone to make them travel to your location. Regardless, everyone is still traveling quite a long way to get to Florida, and on top of that you're making your own planning harder because you won't have as much acess to your venue leading up to the wedding day.

So I think I get the logic here—I don’t know where your Canadian family lives, but obviously Orlando is a lot closer to Kentucky than Washington state. Therefore, I can see where you’d get annoyed because your Canadian family is traveling a lot farther no matter what.


That being said, it’s really comparing apples and oranges because you don’t know peoples travel budgets, PTO allotments, wedding conventions they’re used to, etc.
If you want to get married in Orlando, go for it! (We had a destination wedding there and it was wonderful.) But don’t get married there because your mom said you had to (is she paying for the event??) or because you THINK it’s a compromise with the Kentucky clan.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree!

It's true that you can't please everyone (nor should you try, because it's impossible!), but since you have made your decision, I think you need to allow them to be disappointed. Just because they are complaining, doesn't mean you should change your plans. But just because you are excited about your choice, doesn't mean they need to be OK with the travel time and expenses.

From here on out, simply stop listening to their complaints. Don't offer up any more wedding planning details (until there are things that they NEED to know). If they bring it up, just change the subject. Keep your conversations with them light and superficial.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you 100%. It’s tricky when you have families who live in different places and there will be someone who’s unhappy with the location. Let your husband explain the thinking behind it to his family. Try not to get involved in this. Make sure you and your husband are happy with the decision.