Completely useless bridesmaids!!!!

That's a hard one! I'm sorry your closest friends are treating you that way. I guess the only thing you can do is tell them how you really feel. Good luck!

I’m not sure if its their job to be doing stuff. They should have the dresses I suppose but I don’t think they are obligated to do more than dress how you want them to and stand by your side during the ceremony.

I personally feel like having bridesmaids is an unnecessary headache so I skipped it all together but, I hope you and them can come to some sort of agreement and if not, maybe just not have bridesmaids at all. It might save you some stress.

These are my Biological sisters, not just friends, and yes, bridesmaids are supposed to help you make decorations etc. It's not like I'm asking them to dig a ditch or plow a field. I dont know a single bride whos bridesmaids didnt help make decorations. Most people ask a whole lot more of them. I have friends who would do more than my blood family at this point. So yes, it's fair to ask my own family for help. And all of this is stuff they agreed to months ago.

one of my bridesmaids didn't get her dress literally two days before my wedding aha and the others didn't til weeks before. It's SUPER frustrating but at the end of the day their dress .. they'll find it. Don't get too bothered by that. Besides everyone is going to look at YOU anyway and you'll look fab!

Also, their dresses are $25 so it's not like im asking much from them monetarily. The one is supposed to ne doing my makeup, so yeah, she signed up and agreed to do a trial as well; we just discussed it last week. The problem is, they gave me verbal confirmation they would do these things and have yet to live up to them. Remember, these are my Biological sisters, not just random friends.

It’s not their job to landscape your in laws property. You decided to have a wedding there, the two of you can prepare and decorate or hire someone. If they have the info to get their dresses, great. If they don’t get them by your wedding day, they can sit as guests.

We bought our sisters bridesmaids dresses so they would be done ahead of time and they are shipping directly to them. Now we are collecting the money for the dresses. Lol. My FW Sister is being a total you-know-what.. she dropped out of the wedding and is refusing our HAMU gift costing us $200. She’s being a bully to my FW and I’m hoping she chills because I really don’t want to have to ask her to back off, in the nicest way of course.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. ESPECIALLY since they all agreed to do the things you’re asking. That’s really not cool. Maybe remind them of their commitments?

View Quoted Comment Well, it's a good thing I wasn't asking them to landscape anything *phew* and if they didn't want to help, they shouldn't have volunteered, period. It's the principle that she bought a dress for a wedding thats after mine... that is %100 an issue for me. And as for the makeup issue, she also should not have volunteered and been super stoked about it of she didn't intend to follow through with ALL of the commitments that intails. I honestly dont mind doing it all myself, I am upset that they lied to me on several occasions, and that is not ok. So, to finish, I am merely upset that my own family over obligated, lied, and didn't keep their promises.

You absolutely have every right to expect your sisters to help you with your wedding. Especially if they agreed to be in your wedding party. I don't agree with people who think all bridesmaids have to do us show up. Not that i expect them to do a lot or am very demanding of them. They're supposed to be the people you are closest to. You'd think they'd be excited for you and want to be involved. I'm sorry you have to deal with this when you should just be focusing on your wedding and all the happiness associated with it.

I'm sorry that you're having stress from people that should be wanting to be there for you. Family, but it's unfortunately, not a guarantee.
Maybe you can get some other family or friends to pitch in. I hope and sure your day
Will turn out wonderful. Stay positive!

First off, bridesmaids typically don't help with decor or planning. So they shouldn't "have" to come to anything. I've never been asked to help with decor or setting up a venue, that's what vendors are for. It's nice if they offer to do so, but they certainly don't have to. However, they should have their dresses by now. Your aunts are your bridesmaids?

View Quoted Comment My sisters are my bridesmaids, and unfortunately, not all of us have big, booming budgets like some do, so... no vendors to do that for me. A venue alone would have cost more than my entire budget, so yeah. And yes, bridesmaids are supposed to help the bride make decorations etc. The problem is, which I have already explained, thay they volunteered and agreed to help me with this stuff... and now are not.

View Quoted Comment

Oh, by "mother's sisters" I thought you meant your aunts. I guess I've just been in very low budget weddings and even though people offered to help (I never did since I was out of state), the bride & her fiance & her mother basically did all the work.

Whether your expectations are reasonable or not is up for debate, but setting that aside, you will definitely be better off if you lower your expectations from here on out. You can't actually control people but you can choose to enjoy your wedding anyway. If they have their dresses on the day, they can be your bridesmaids.

Yeah, BM's (even if they are your sisters) are not required or expected to do any setup, decorating, etc for your wedding. It's nice if they do, but rude of you to ask or expect. I think at this point, you and your FI need to focus on getting things ready on their own. The girsl still have a month to get dresses, and if they're only $25 i assume it's not from a bridal store that requires a lot of lead time (like is possible for the September wedding that has nothing to do with you). No one needs to do anything for your wedding but you and your FI.

Her September dess was from dreslilly, so no, not a bridal store. And they VOLUNTEERED for the 40th time I have had to say this. Why dont people read through the comments first? Is there some way to edit my post to include this specific phrase? Or some way to shut off comments? I mean, if not, guess I'll have to delete my account.

Reading experiences like this make me thankful that we did not have bridesmaids or best men... Adjust your expectations now that you have been put on notice that your bridesmaids are physically and or emotionally unavailable the way you want. It sucks they are not holding up their end but you gotta press on, make other arrangements for the upkeep of the acres.. what is FH's family doing about arranging the maintenance of their own property?

While a frustrating situation, I would imagine I'd be pretty distanced if this was your response to me saying "I'll see what I can do" to lending a hand with short notice. Consider that you are probably not quite yourself right now, planning a wedding is stressful. Give yourself a moment to breathe,
Yes, it is frustrating that they don't have dresses yet. Remind them, pester a little bit, let them know that you really want them to be able to stand with you but they really need to get their dresses to do so. This is a really upsetting situation, but don't bring the bridesmaid already having her dress for a different wedding into it, there are difference circumstances there you may not know about. All you can do is focus on how she is handling your wedding, not how she is handling someone elses. KINDLY give them a deadline. "Hey guys! We are really close to the wedding, can you please order your dresses a night this week so that we're sure they're here in time? Let me know if there's any issues or anything I can do to help!". It is not a bridesmaids responsibility to get crafty and diy with you. But, it is their responsibility to get a dress. That's really the only thing you're signing up for when you say yes: Buy dress, attend wedding.

Yes, it is frustrating, I'm sure, to have people who said they'd volunteer many months ago not be able to do so now. It sounds like this was a lack of communication on both ends. I have been a bridesmaid twice: Once the bride was very DIY, but she did not ask any of us for help, even if we offered. The second time the bride was also very DIY, she never asked for help but gave us days FAR in advance that we could help out if we liked. Half of the bridal party was able to be there and help out those days. As much as I love helping with this sort of thing, if she had not given advance, I would not have been able to attend.
Everyone you know (and I mean EVERYONE) will halfheartedly tell you "let me know if you need anything!" "let me know how I can help!". I'm a year out and I can't count how many times I've heard that. But I know that once I'm at a point where I know what I'll need done, I will need to individuality reach out to the two or three bridesmaids I know genuinely want to help and will be sad if they can't, and ask them what works for them for helping out. I would never rely on someone who volunteered help without getting specific and being sure they meant it. It sounds like you are frustrated and scrambling to get help with the wedding coming up, which is totally understandable! But you can't throw them under the bus for not being able to help short notice, even though they said they could prior. Also, that bride I helped out was really DIY heavy, and we still only had 2 days of work to do, right before the wedding. A few things property wise a week or two before, but nothing bridesmaids should be doing. Same situation, her fiances large property. If you have a bunch to worry about 30 days out, take a breath, maybe scrap some of the smaller ideas, it sounds like you might be doing a bit too much.
30 days out and no make up trial is also stressful! Communication is key, reach out, tell her you need to do it this week and can come to her, tell her if she's changed her mind of this you need to know asap so you can get someone else. If she really is flaking on this, that's very sad, but I'd hope she's just a little caught up and with some kind communication she can get your trial onto her top priority list.
Take a breath. Change your attitude from "My sisters are completely useless!" to "My sisters are people, with busy lives, and I am grateful for the time they're able to give me with wedding help." Even though there are things they are doing that put them in the wrong, you will subconsciously pile up little things that aren't actually a big deal if you go into it titling them as "completely useless" to try and validate that title.