Confession

I'm not catholic so have a hard time understanding the whole confession thing but I think that if you pray to god and feel right with yourself then you are just fine and should feel free from all your sins. Personally the whole "living in sin" thing is kinda old fashioned these days - I'm loving living in sin!

Ummm that sounds weird to me. I had a similar situation (hadn't gone in a long time) and also live with FS and had tons of sins that I confessed.. but he gave me penance and I moved on! Was this the normal church you used to go to, or plan on attending from now on? I would go to a different confession at another church or with a different priest. Good luck!

While I don't think this post is really appropreate for this forum, I will give you my .02, as a Christian (NOT a Catholic).

I believe that a priest does not need to grant you forgiveness, only God can do that (Jesus died to give us that right and direct link to Him), and if you ask him directly, and state your sins, he WILL forgive you.

I made this very same confession to the Bishop a couple of years ago... I have not been able to receive communion, for several years. I go up for a blessing during communion and look forward to the day when I can receive communion again. My annulment is final, but we didn't know that my non-Catholic FS had to have one also, so it will be another several months after our wedding before I can receive again. I think that if you talk to your priest, perhaps he can hear your confession on the day of your wedding and then you can receive absolution since technically getting married turns you away from the sin of fornication. Good Luck & Peace be with you!

I don't know what you need to do to go around that. I myself am not catholic. I respect your wanting to go back though and become involved. Especially with having the getting married there being so important to you. Where my DH and I got married if you are living together you can't get married there. My DH and I didn't move in together until afterwards. But that was our personal decision and had to do with our faith because we chose throughout our relationship to stay pure and knew that if we moved in together that would increase the temptation to do so. By the way living together is not a sin. I hope everything works out for you!!!

@ Sydney, my mother told me the same thing.. I mean this priest made me feel like i commited a mortal crime!!

@ ASian bride.. its was at a polish church.. Im hispanic but confessed in English. Those were my thoughts exactly.. since i have moved away from where i grew up, i havent found a new church. So i will and I will confess again

Hah I feel like the spawn of satan because I didn't even flinch at the thought of lying to my church about living with my FH. Tread very carefully, because when you do pre cana and have your meetings with the priest that will marry you, he might ask if you are living together. If you tell him the truth and say yes, there is a very good chance he'll tell you that you can't get married in the Catholic church unless one of you moves out. I've accepted the fact that I'm not perfect...we were born with sin, so if I'm not free from sins when I get married, well big whoop. I think I'm a pretty good person living an honest life, and if living with my FH is the most awful thing I've ever done, I'm perfectly ok with that.

Rose i totally agree with you..lol.. and i might let a little white lie slip! lol

For what it's worth, we were honest about telling the priest during pre-cana that we live together. He asked us to pray about it, and we did. Financially, it was almost impossible for us to live apart for less than a year (new security deposit, additional rent, etc) AND pay for the wedding. I know it seems material, but it just wasn't practical in our eyes. We told the priest that we would not live separately for those reasons, but that we would remain chaste until the wedding. He was ok with it, but asked us to go to confession every 2 months. I honestly think it has to do with your diocese and how traditional (strict) they are.

I am afraid that this forum is going to have drama :-/ Btw we are all sinners and I agree with Analy said. Only God can forgive you, AMEN

It might have been because you didn't repent the "sin" of living with FH? Meaning, even though you confessed the sin, you plan on continuing to live with him..IDK I don't necessarily agree with everything about the Church, although I do belong to it, and it means a great deal to me. I am getting married in the Church and our priest didn't seem to have a problem with us living together, he didn't say a word about it actually! Of course, our priest is more "modern/open minded" than some. I haven't gone to confession for a few years though either..

I'm not Catholic (I'm Christian) I agree with Analy, If you ask God for forgiveness, he will forgive you.

@ Analy and Megan there is not drama at all and wont be, we are just stating our own personal experiences and opinions and so far everyone is respecting them. I wouldnt have posted this if I knew it would start a dilemma, I just wanted express how I felt after confession.

I think it's between YOU, FH, and GOD..... Do what's right for you.. I know that's hard considering the catholic faith doesn't stress this. If people in your religion believe it's a sin to live together, then I don't think the priest is going to forgive you until you aren't continuing to do it.

Honestly, will you really be free of all sins before your wedding just by a priest saying you are?

While I also personally believe that it's between me and God, I also recognize that the Catholic Church has rules and if I want to get married in the church then I have to abide by the rules. If the rules got way out of my comfort level, then I would have married elsewhere. If the priest tells me that I need to go to confession, then I'll do it. Remember, the church is an institution.. I have to keep that in mind when I get frustrated about certain things. Now - keep in mind that I got lucky and am getting married without any huge issues of us living together...

@Jazmine- well said. If everyone can be respectful, there will no drama.

I am not christian so cant really state an opinion that will help.

I don't wish to offend our non-Catholic brothers and sisters, but what Catholics believe about confession, absoloution, and communion is different from non-Catholic faiths. I would never suggest that lying to a minister/priest/rabbi would be a good way to get right with your faith before receiving a sacrament. If you want to feel right about receiving Holy Communion on your wedding day, you might want to talk to your priest. Obviously, I did not kick my FS out after talking to the Bishop, and I won't be able receive communion before his annulment is final and we have our marriage blessed in the church, but knowing what the church believes about Holy Communion, I know I can't receive it just now. I do know that when I am able to receive, it will truly be "Holy" and I know that I will shed tears of joy. I am in no way trying to sound judgmental here, just offering an opinion of someone in the same boat, and trying to follow what the Catholic faith teaches.

I went to a drama called "To Hell and Back" @ a Christain church & at the end the preacher started preaching about every day sin and made me feel like a little ant on the floor ... you're a sinner if you have sex before marriage, you're a sinner if you think about sex before marriage, you're a sinner to live with your boyfriend before marriage. And the only way to repent (he says) is to move back home with your parents, ask God for forgiveness, don't have sex or sexual thoughts before marriage and live a good, honest christain life. I wanted to get up and walk out. I hate being told what to do and not to do. My sister KNOWS I have lived with my FS since I was 21. She helped me move my things to the apartment we got together. If I would have known that he was going to bark at us the way he did, I would have never went to that Drama. I want to let God into my life on my own accord, on my own timing and when I need and/or want to let God in. I don't want some preacher telling me

Wow I am sorry for what you went through Kali, that is why I am very picky at picking a church.

That I am going to hell because me and my FS decide to live together, sleep in the same bed and commit sin before marriage. FS is catholic and he isn't even living the sin-free life. No one does. Everyone sins, daily. And you're told to repent, ask for forgiveness and move on.

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Well, for me, I am having a hard time dealing with it all. This is the reasoning behind us getting married IN BAR by a JUSTICE OF THE PEACE.

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I hope things get better for you while going to church, etc. It's definitely a slap in the face reality.