Conflicted on making moh into a bm

I’ll try to keep this long story short! But a ton has happened this past year and I’m like trying to think if I am being to emotion or not!
So I made my MOH my MOH 2 years ago when I got engaged. Shortly after she moved out of state, we tried to keep the friendship alive but it’s hard long distance. I became close with other fiends here in the mean time. She recently moved back and hasn’t really said anything about my wedding at all. Until out of no where she tells me that she should step down. All this resulted from my bridesmaids planning my bachelorette party, and we’re throwing ideas out and got intimidated-literally her word, that everyone was “excited” and she said that she’s glad I have people there for me and said she feels like it’s much and wanted to step away. Which seemed every selfish in my opinion. Is it cause she didn’t feel excited about it her self? Anyways planning came and I literally sat there and told her why I chose her as my MOH and so she agrees to stay. And my BMs wanted to travel for my bachelorette party, she said she didn’t have the funds and decided not to tell the girls to let them know but instead tell me. She said “would you rather travel or have ALL your brides maids there? Cause I’m letting you know I can’t go”. So I felt guilty and I told her that’s fine let’s do something here, so everyone replanned for in state. She decides to tell me 2 weeks before the bachelorette party that she quit her job to travel and won’t be attending. Which sucks cause we went out of our way to include her and she has money to travel for herself but not to celebrate me? And my bridesmaids were mad of course. She hasn’t texted or spoke to me since then and that was a month ago. I feel angry and felt like she’s being selfish.. again. So I decided not to communicate either. Now im rethinking our friendship and her being my MOH I just need advice. Am I wrong? We have talked about this once during a dinner she took me out on, where she wanted to step down in the first place. But am I having to have this conversation again but vice versa? Am I being to emotional? If not how to I ask her to step down? Help!