Hi there!
Dealing with a bit of a family issue. My mom and I have a close relationship, but there has always been some clashing between us (as mothers and daughters often do - nothing serious). However, she is a very anxious, controlling, and tightly wound person and freaks out easily over the smallest things. We are very different and have different ideas about a lot of things. So, when I excitedly told her about the covered outdoor wedding venue that my fiance and I want to book, she immediately got angry and started peppering me with very combative and hostile questions and concerns. I anticipated these and presented her with research I had done to resolve those concerns (i.e.: putting sides on the tent in case of rain, hiring a day-of coordinator, etc.). It didn't matter - she was still upset. As she attacked further, it became clear that she feels as though we aren't living up to "her" vision for our wedding and aren't catering to her and my dad at all in our ideas and plans (this is based on the fact that we are getting married in my fiance's church, which he is very involved in and close to...we're both Catholic so that's not the issue).
My dad is a lot more supportive and reasonable and was visibly embarrassed that my mom had this tantrum in front of my fiance, but he is also pushing for us to choose another venue because he doesn't want to deal with her anxiety and anger for the next year while we plan. It is really a shame, because I was so excited about this venue and to tell them so that we could really begin planning, but now I'm faced with a bit of a tough decision and I feel so down about the whole thing. The thing is, my parents are very generously paying for the entire wedding, so I can't just cut them out of the planning or decision-making, nor would I necessarily want to because I do love them and want to maintain a positive relationship.
They want me to get married at an indoor venue that my fiance and I did also really like and was a close second, but I do hate the feeling of letting them control me (as they have tried to do for my entire life). But, if I choose the outdoor venue that my fiance and I liked, I anticipate it being a year of arguments and stress with my mother, which I don't want either.
What would you do if you were me? Any advice or input is greatly appreciated.
