Cooking for reception?

OP: I want to do something awful, what do you think

Literally Everyone else: rational reasons what OP wants to do is a bad idea, and solutions to avoid said bad idea

OP: well, I do think it's ok, and I'm also doing these other bad ideas

Collective *headdesk

Bella-I am in Columbia SC. Also just because a cash bar is common doesnt make it right. If you cant host your guests right than reduce the list. Sometimes its hard but its what needs to be done.

OP- it's great that you're asking for advice and listening with an open mind. Mrs Faith already suggested what I was going to: you can have a local restaurant deliver freshly-prepared food for probably about what you'd spend at the grocery store, and pay a few hundred for pros to look after it (rental companies or your venue can recommend staffing companies). Easy and low-stress for you and the family.

You'll need a bartender for your cash bar. Hire a caterer, then they can provide food, and alcohol. Have a wedding you can properly host. On a very special day, you want your family around you, not working for you and unable to enjoy themselves. They'd have to set up during your ceremony. I don't think they want to miss your vows.

Wow. This blows my mind. I understand wedding on a budget but leave food to the pros! Prioritizing your photographer may backfire when all of show people vomiting in the bushes from food poisoning.

Its just not worth the risk. If you can't afford to properly feed 100 people cut your guest list or postpone and save up some money. And certainly don't invite 140 hoping only 100 show.

That's what were doing having our family members cook the food I think it's a good idea

OMG MARI- Stop you keep giving horrid advice. Don't make your families slave over stoves for your wedding. They should be enjoying themselves.

Omg Mari.. This thread is giving me a headache.

Sarah Kat: i probably am. i am looking into other options and i will be discussing this with my MOH.

-Cathy: cash bars are common here. would you rather not drink or pay for it? that's the way i look at it and I know what most of my guests would say to that question.

Future Mrs.P: i'll look into Jason's Deli. Probably won't be doing salad as most everyone I know doesn't really eat it and I don't like it either but I'll see what else Sam's Club does.

mna: i didn't realize that. i know a friend who has done this but i have no idea how she did it bc her wedding was in VA and i couldn't attend. it does seem quite difficult by what you said. as for alcohol, i'll be getting two kegs and making punches.

Sqwiggy: okay thats gross. i wasn't suggesting potluck although a good friend of ours had potluck at her wedding, her and husband provided kfc buckets and everyone brought a dish. not kidding.

Zoe: I was warned by 100s of people that they hated themselves for going with a cheap photographer. And I'm not sure what the 2nd time I've used "pictures" to be rude to guests your referring to. I'm assuming you mean cooking food is rude but I'm not sure what else you meant.

JimmyKat: I really hadn't thought of food poisoning before considering it. I am considering caterers.

Mrs. Faith: I actually was considering getting the pork from Kellys. I was planning on calling them and asking if they could customize stuff as I'm not a fan of potato salad unless its my families cuz i literally don't like anything in it but mayo and eggs(well and potatoes obviously). Thanks for showing me Jim N Nicks, there prices don't seem too bad.

Alison: its not an entirely cash bar. there will be 2 kegs and punches. thats just if they want something premium or a different beer. my mom apparently had 2 kegs at her reception and they only used 1 so i think 2 should be plenty. I have never been to a wedding with an open bar.

Emilyg: I'm considering the restaurant option as well. I plan to discuss this with my MOH (shes engaged also and has fully committed to her mans family cooking so I'm going to tell her these stories) and I'll be discussing it with FH. I had always planned to have caterers until a couple months ago bc literally everyone we know did potluck, had someone cooked or did grilling out right there at the wedding. My cousin had her wedding catered and while I wasn't able to attend, I've heard family literally complain at how much she spent to have it catered(which apparently was only 15 a person). Thats why we started considering having designated people cooking because I would never do potluck.

Mary: i know that, we're not even sure if we're doing a cash bar or just doing kegs and punches.

Julia: We would know how many people would show up way beforehand, thats just the invite list as of right now, we're just guessing that there's a good bit that probably won't come, even ones we want to come, but we're inviting them anyways.

Mari: What are you planning on having? How are planning to do it? Just curious.

Talk to the caterers. If there's something you don't like, usually they can customize the menu for you. Maybe talk to them about your budget and see if they can work with you. I'm not even sure how a cash bar would work if you're buying the alcohol...?

@sqwiggy that's literally what runs through my anxious mind when we have potlucks at work. Unless it comes pre-packaged thank you but pass!

For God's sake, just cater it yourself then. You have 5 pages of reasons why not to do it, but you have an answer for everything. Mari, who gives the worst advice on the planet is doing this and you're asking for her menu. I'd email Hannibal Lecter while you're at it, if you're looking for sage advice, no pun intended.

I honest to Christmas don't understand what selective brain-deadness takes over people planning weddings.

They. Cost. A lot. Especially if you have lots of people.

If you don't have a lot of money, don't invite a lot of people. It really isn't THAT hard to figure out. What you want (as in every freaking person in your family and town) may not be what you can afford.

Potlucks, cash bars and day old deviled eggs are all terrible ideas. Gathering your family together to cook for 140 guests is a bad idea, and your venue may not even allow it since most venues want to see food handlers' licenses, insurance and workman's comp policies.

The good thing about food poisoning is that it usually takes 12-24 hours. So they won't be vomiting in the bushes that day.

And don't listen to Mari or Pearl, that wedding planner. There are a reason things "are not the norm'. It's because they don't freaking work well.

I gotta make a sticky.

Do you have any favorite local restaurants that cook the kind of food you're talking about? If you go in and ask, you might find a good home cooking style restaurant that would cater it for not much more than you would spend to do it yourself, and without all the hassle and headache.

Did any of these "hundreds of people" realize you'd only be paying for a photog OR a caterer? I doubt it. Again, your priorities are out of line.

Honestly, what's more important to you: your friends and family or your vanity? While you may answer your friends and family, your intended actions tell otherwise.

Good god, this is still being considered? After 5 pages of explanations why you shouldnt?

hors d'oeuvres anyone?

My dad is catering mine and he did my cousins and my sisters, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to smoke BBQ No way I am squeezing $5k worth of food into my budget $150 is a lot more like it

Oh look, a ring-avatar'd "bride" with 1 total post suggesting self-catering with a $150 budget is a grand idea. Don't you have anything better to do with your time besides make ludicrous troll posts on wedding forums, Danielle?

Fantastic. It looks like Danielle has solved the problem.

For 150.00 in NJ, you can invite 3/4 of a person.

Seriously @Danielle? Can you not read this thread? The same thing applies to you and your intention to self-cater. Shame on you for making your dad work at your wedding. Do you even like him?

If you have a venue that allows you to bring in your own caterer(you're super lucky lol) instead of using theirs, just hire a BBQ restaurant to cater. It would probably be pretty reasonable pricing and less of a headache than having your family cook all the food and then having them worry about it the day of instead of just letting them enjoy these moments with you..