Coronavirus Effect

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I wouldn't want to plan another wedding either and go through that whole
process but I will be devastated if no one comes so much so that it
will probably send me in a tail spin and I wont be able to go to other
weddings out of "jealousy". It's been my worst fear since childhood that
no one comes. Almost a fear of rejection.

Hi date twins! Mine is also 5/23, and we're getting married in Baltimore (we live in D.C.). We're actively considering postponing -- about half of the guest list are flying from across the country/world, and 1/4 are driving from nearby states. Luckily the venue is available in July, and most vendors seem like they could move. Like others have said, I'm worried about people canceling. Even if things have calmed down by then, it seems like people will make the decision whether to cancel flights, etc. much earlier, and then won't be able to rebook come May.

I do think the decision to cancel or postpone should be specific to what your wedding looks like. If you are getting married in your small town with only local guests, and there are no cases in your area, going ahead with it seems fine.

If you're getting married in a city or doing a destination wedding, or many people are flying to your wedding, then I think the calculus is different. I personally would be okay with a handful of guests bowing out, but not okay with 50-70% canceling. But I also can't even imagine how it would feel if a guest or family member became seriously ill because they attended my wedding and got sick because of travel/exposure related to that. It's true that this family of viruses has been around for a long time. What makes this strain of coronavirus different is (1) how contagious it is; and (2) how severe complications can be for people over 60 and people with preexisting conditions. I don't know about you, but close to half of my guest list is right around or over 60.

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Yes, agreed with all of the above. We have about 30% of our guest list over 60.

On a side note, I was supposed to be in Europe right now for a week-long work trip. With tonight's bans, I would have been stuck there for a month, missing my bachelorette party, wedding dress fitting, a bridal shower and my parents coming to visit me in DC. I am SO relieved right now that they canceled my work event just hours before I got on the plane! #Stress

View Quoted Comment What is one of our guests is the FH dad who has ore existing conditions that has to take a plane in. We’re worried that he is too high risk to come but how do you get married without your dad. My wedding is 5/3/20, and we are thinking of postponing bc too many of our important guest like parents, best man, groomsmen flower girl etc. It would suck but we’re feeling like outback is against the wall.

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Our RSVP date is April 10th too! Just wondering, have you gotten a lot of texts/emails/etc from concerned guests? how are you handling if so?

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Only from a small handful of relatives/bridal party members so far, just asking if we're worried and saying they're keeping an eye on it.

You know, I wasn't sure how people would react to the escalation last night, but when I got to our gym this morning (which usually has a couple of hundred people working out between 7-8 a.m.), there were seven people in there, not including myself. Which made me worry that our guests will have great concerns. Our invitations will hit the mail in about a week and a half, and I suppose that's when I'll hear from them if so.

If you're a bride having a local wedding, I think you can either put a note on your website, a little details card in your invitation, or a mass email and BCC guests to say you can't wait to see them, and are taking special precautions to ensure their safety by providing a sanitization station at the reception, etc. Luckily, our resort refunds rooms up to seven days before check-in, but you could always check with your room block contact about making a special exception for refunding rooms if the virus escalates between now and your wedding. Get their hard cancellation deadline and include that.

Since mine is destination, my biggest roadblock will be that people have to fly. We'll find out how people feel about that in two weeks, I guess.

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Most of his immediate family do not live in the area and my worst nightmare since I was a little girl was to have a wedding that no one came to. This is really starting the freak me out. My fh keeps trying to remind me that at the end of the day, we will still be married but I wonder if I will have to convince my priest this. Everyone around me seem to be holding it together and my guests are still saying that they are excited to come. I am pretty sure, that we will be on lock-down sometime soon and I can't take the thought of that happening.

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Will they be driving? I think if they're driving they're more likely to make it. How many are local or local-ish? Have you spoken to the venue about the likelihood that they would have to cancel?

I'm looking at the list of people who are my ride or die and who will be there no matter what. I would still be happy if it were just them. Try focusing on that.

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I think if they were to definitely come, they would probably drive and
drink lightly once they are here. I have about 130 that are local. I
have not asked about the possibility of cancelling with our reception
venue and the church, I need to get on that! I think there is about 70
people on my list that wouldn't miss it even if the world were on fire. I
hope it stays that way.

It has been upsetting and stressful but my fiancé and I have decided to postpone our early May wedding to the fall. We have too many elderly people who we don’t want to put in a tough and risky position; we are making a decision for them. It is the hardest for me to accept; everyone else is more or less relieved and supported. The wedding is still happening, only later, and in a safer and more optimistic context.

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We decided that we will still get married on our day with just our witnesses if we have to.

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Joyce I'm having a lot of the same fears as you, too. Have you made a decision yet? It's starting to feel like it doesn't make sense to try to keep it going. I'm so upset.

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Are you getting married in December?

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I'm hoping these shutdowns DRASTICALLY reduce the number of new cases and this slows down!

So with the national emergency now and talks of domestic travel ban, might be good to speak to venue and ask about your options. I’m going to try a wait and see approach, mine being in April I’m going to push to June or July and see what happens - check the situation as it gets closer. I would hope your venue is understanding of the situation. My planner said in a worst case I still plan on April and then the venue has to shut down because their staff have it, that would be terrible! Or make a decision too close to the day and lose even more money - flowers etc.

I'm getting married on 04/04 also in DC.. So far our venue isn't planning on cancelling events and if we decide to cancel we have to pay the total cost. My fiance and I have decided to move forward as planned. We've added a note on our wedding website letting out guest know that we have been in communication with our venue and they're trying to take every precaution to make sure we're all safe and healthy. We hope our guests show but understand that a few may cancel. This is not how we pictured our day but we have to learn to adapt and find a solution and I cannot wait to marry my man. I would advice if you decide to move forward that you look into getting your marriage license as soon as possible just in case that the courthouses close.

Best of luck, hang in there, breathe, stay safe.

Carlos

We are going to postpone. Maryland has banned events >50 people for an undetermined amount of time. I don't know when we're postponing to, though. January? February? May? There are no safe bets. I've been reading articles that warn that social distancing in some form will continue for 12 to 18 months. I can mentally wrap my head around pushing to January, but the idea of waiting well over a year makes my stomach turn.

My daughter and her fiance's wedding is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend. The invitations have been sent and it would be so sad to have to postpone it after all of the excitement and planning that has gone into it. It's a destination wedding in Florida (we have a home here), and the majority of guests would be flying in from the New York area (all are coming from elsewhere). As much as I would hate to see it canceled, I would feel even worse if a guest got sick from traveling here or being at the wedding (it's impossible to know who is carrying the virus). The bachelorette was supposed to be in Turks and Caicos this week, but was cancelled and the shower is supposed to be the first week in April, but advisories are to keep gatherings under 10 people. Our wedding planner suggested we decide about the wedding soon, to ensure we find another acceptable date, but I would like to put off the decision for a few more weeks. My heart is with all future 2020 brides.

Well guys... my fiancé and I ended up postponing our wedding. We’re still getting legally married, accompanied by only our parents.
We felt that a no contact wedding was not the way we wanted to remember our day. Tears were shed... but we have to dust ourselves off and figure out what to do next. I still get to marry the man of our dreams... I just have to wait a little longer to party! If you guys still plan to get married on your dates but haven’t applied for your marriage license. I suggest that you do that soon!

Best of luck guys! Chins up! Stay healthy! We’re all in this together!