Correlation between money spent on wedding and divorce

View Quoted Comment So, we only tested white non same sex marriages in one area and this represents all marriages? Lol. Our 10-15k wedding in a rural area could easily be 30k+ in the city. We are paying all cash and have a 2 year engagement to make that happen. I guess if we are doomed for divorce due to large families and 30 or so friends we will have great pictures of it! Lol.

I don't think it necessarily would correlate to a certain $ amount but I do agree with PP that going into debt is probably more correlated to divorce. FH and I are spending over $20k (we are predicting about $25-27k) but about $15k of that was money I already had from multiple inheritance funds.

With the income FH and I have combined, we will not be negatively affected by this, but another factor is that we will have been engaged for 2 years by the time our wedding rolls around so the wedding expenses were spread out.

I have 4 friends who are already divorced and 3 had a budget of $5k. Finances were a factor in all 3 of those divorces. The other one spent about $75k on her wedding and they got divorced due to her ex-husband having multiple extra-martial affairs.

I'm going to echo what a PP said - correlation is not causation!

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They should have eliminated anyone that was on their 2nd (or more) marriage. Any marriage after the 1st is more likely to end in divorce, so that could definitely be a factor as well.

I would also be interested if they looked at whether the bride and groom paid for the wedding, or if their parents paid.

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While they don't delve fairly deep into the happiness aspect, they do mention the effect the financial burden would have on some couples:

"Other interesting results emerge in Tables 2 and 3. In the sample of all persons, greater differences in age and education between husband and wife and reporting that one’s partner’s looks were important in the decision to marry are both significantly associated with a higher hazard of divorce. On the other hand, relatively high household income, regularly attending religious services, having a child with one’s partner, relatively high wedding attendance, and going on a honeymoon are all significantly associated with a lower hazard of divorce.2 Thus, the evidence suggests that the types of weddings associated with lower likelihood of divorce are those that are relatively inexpensive but are high in attendance."

"Table 4 explores wedding-related debt stress as one possible mechanism underlying the positive associations that we find between marital dissolution and spending on the engagement ring and wedding. In the sample of women, spending between $2,000 and $4,000 on the engagement ring is associated with 2 to 3 times the odds of reporting being stressed about wedding-related debt relative to spending between $500 and $2,000. Furthermore, in the sample of all persons, sample of men, and sample of women, spending less than $1,000 on the wedding."

"If wedding expenditures are indeed associated with debt stress, then it is possible that wedding expenses raise the likelihood of marital dissolution given that prior literature suggests a link between economic stress and marital dissolution. "

I think that if you have a big wedding only to have a big wedding then yes you will most likely get divorced. The people willing to go into debt loose relationship and fight about every choice with fiancé. The true bridezillas.
I think of you have a big wedding cause you can afford and want one that is different.

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"Other interesting results emerge in Tables 2 and 3. In the sample of all persons, greater differences in age and education between husband and wife and reporting that one’s partner’s looks were important in the decision to marry are both significantly associated with a higher hazard of divorce. On the other hand, relatively high household income, regularly attending religious services, having a child with one’s partner, relatively high wedding attendance, and going on a honeymoon are all significantly associated with a lower hazard of divorce.2 Thus, the evidence suggests that the types of weddings associated with lower likelihood of divorce are those that are relatively inexpensive but are high in attendance."

Without reading the full paper, that sounds more to me that a couple going into the marriage with a bit more of a traditional, mature, approach (i.e. blending of two families) has less divorce rates.

"Table 4 explores wedding-related debt stress as one possible mechanism underlying the positive associations that we find between marital dissolution and spending on the engagement ring and wedding. In the sample of women, spending between $2,000 and $4,000 on the engagement ring is associated with 2 to 3 times the odds of reporting being stressed about wedding-related debt relative to spending between $500 and $2,000. Furthermore, in the sample of all persons, sample of men, and sample of women, spending less than $1,000 on the wedding."

"If wedding expenditures are indeed associated with debt stress, then it is possible that wedding expenses raise the likelihood of marital dissolution given that prior literature suggests a link between economic stress and marital dissolution. "

This definitely echos a lot of what others have highlighted - poor finances and prioritizing the wedding/party. It's already well cited that financial stress is the biggest indicator of divorce else-where. So, someone who is likely to overspend in one area will likely overspend in their wedding. Leading to even more financial stress. Ergo, higher divorce rates.

My personal experience doesn't align with this theory. My first wedding cost less than $1000. (Eloped to Vegas). We were married for 12 years and it didn't work out.
Interestingly enough we were financially incompatible.
This wedding now will cost more than $15k, but my fiance and I are both big savers and budget conscious and will not go into debt for our wedding.

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I definitely agree with this analysis. I think it has less to do with physical money and more to do with the "more is more" mindset. Some people want to have weddings and go all out for the materialistic efforts, not for the love and marriage.

I definitely think its all generalized and slightly judgemental, but overall I can totally see how the study would find those stats. I've had plenty of friends get into the mindset of big fancy weddings and impressing guests while they neglect their relationship with their partner over planning a huge party.

Alright. Imma get personal here, and if someone wants to judge me so be it.
I’ve been married twice. Once at 18. We were married for 3 years. I planned NOTHING for that wedding. Didn’t even buy a dress, I wore his moms wedding dress from her first wedding.

Marriage #2 court house wedding- that I was late too. That’s a long story.

Now? My fiancé and I have a wedding planned for under $5,000- including dress, invites, decorations, ceremony site, and reception w/dinner. We’ve known each other 11 years. Been dating/engaged for 2. We planned our wedding out with everything we wanted, then priced everything. Money doesn’t make or break the relationship for us. We work hard for what we want, and so far we’ve done awesome.

The "$20,000 or more" generalization is totally inaccurate. A wedding that costs $20,000 on the west coast is equivalent to a wedding that costs $5,000- $10,000 in the central states. Also, people who get married at the courthouse are often doing so because they can't afford more. This would also mean that they may not be able to survive if they get a divorce. They depend upon two incomes to make ends meet, so they will stay married even if they are unhappy.

My first marriage cost around $12,000-$15,000. That was 25 years ago. At the time, that was considered a big "bells and whistles" wedding. My marriage lasted for 20 years. The cost of the wedding had nothing to do with why we divorced. We just grew into different people over 20 years of life.

This wedding is estimating at $20,000- $23,000. We can afford it because we're having a long engagement to slowly cover the expenses. We will have no wedding debt on our wedding day. The cost of the wedding will have no effect on whether our marriage lasts or not.

When my FH and I first started working on our wedding budget, he made a comment that he would feel resentful down the road if we were in a bunch of debt because of the wedding, because all he cared about truly was that I become his wife. Until he said that it never occurred to me the strain of having a lot of debt when your 'just starting'your life out.
We decided to keep it between 5 and 10,000 and we have done pretty good so far.

With that said, people put way too much stock in correlations. There is a ton of correlations that are totally unrelated. Know the difference between correlation and cause and effect.

I totally believe the more you focus on the materialistic aspects of a wedding, the less likely you'll focus on your marriage. My mom described wedding planning as your first test as a married couple (ie finances, families, etc).

View Quoted Comment This exactly what I'm thinking. I'm not saying people who spend more money on weddings dont love each other, but sometimes is to hide the real situation. To make their relationship look and seem good. So you also have to factor in how a couples relationship was before they got married. A lot of people think marriage will fix everything (I have many friends who think this). So when they get married, the problems never get fixed and end up in divorced.

I'd also be curious to see updated stats on this. The article was published in 2014, meaning the data was most likely collected in like ****. A lot can change in almost a decade.

I echo a lot of what others have stated in that lower-income individuals are less likely to get divorced. I work with domestic violence survivors, and I've lost count how many times I have heard clienys say they cannot afford the process of divorce. Even filing the paperwork for a court date is sometimes too expensive, let alone an attorney to advocate for their share of the assets or a mediator. The actual process of divorce is expensive, and the loss of a dual-income is also very strenuous. These are absolutely factors to consider.

And as many of my fellow social science nerds have stated and what I stress to my undergrad psych research method students: correlation does not equal causation!

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I’m taking my undergrad in psych right now and correlation doesn’t equal causation is pretty much the slogan in the research methods class!

Personally, I don't think the actual cost of the wedding has any affect on it, but rather the relationship before marriage. I think where the money comes in is if a couple has been together for a long time or even have kids before getting married, they may be less inclined to spend a lot on the actual wedding, but the relationship is on a solid foundation and is more likely to last.

I think a multitude of different things play into a lasting marriage. For a start, there are loads of different relationships. Some talk everything out, some let one person make most of the decisions, some have one partner who manages the finances. Some couples share money, others keep it seperate, some go half and half.

If friends and family are supportive of the relationship, I reckon the marriage automatically has a much better chance of survival, regardless of how much is or isn't spent on the wedding itself.

My parents had a budget wedding, but got married because my mum fell pregnant. My dad's response was to say "Well, I suppose we'd best get married then"! As a child, I saw my mum always scrimping, despite the fact that my dad earned good money, and she had access to the joint account. She had come from a poor background, and so money had more value to her than it did to my father, who seemed to always be indulging.

The funny thing about my parents is that they never divorced. They were married for 17 years before my father passed away. I remember asking my mum if she ever thought about divorce, but she said she didn't want to be a single parent, and she took her vows seriously. Her first marriage was when she was only 18, and that ended because her husband left her for another woman. My father had actually been married before too, but they had an amicable separation. My mum actually met her, and said she was a lovely person.

We spent about $28,000 and it’s been almost a year and things have been rocky as of late. I’ve considered leaving him 3x. He didn’t want a wife, he wanted a mother. He still wants to be a little boy and has no clue how to be an adult. If only I could get that $28,000 back. I’d pay off all debt (including student loans) and throw the rest towards my mortgage.

Maybe the couples who spent more were more likely to divorce because they had the finances to make that happen. Some people are in bad marriages and don’t get divorced because they can’t afford the costs or the post-divorce cost of maintaining separate homes. Maybe the cheap wedding people want to get divorced but can’t afford to.


Just because a couple has been married longer doesn’t mean they’re happier