Could we possibly add any more stress to my son's wedding this Sunday?

2. Virtually everyone NotFroofy knows will be in the wedding. My ex and I will be escorting the groom. My daughter and her partner are in the wedding party. The only other people from my family who will be there are my parents (see preceding paragraph), and my sister (who is a bit much even for those of us who love her to handle, and who was responsible for the whipped cream fight at our reception). So NotFroofy is likely to end up feeling like a fifth wheel.

3. The bride's father tried to kill my son. Yes, literally. At one point, the bride was having an argument with her parents, and my son tried to defuse things by suggesting that she come over to his apartment to cool down. Apparently, the very suggestion that she might go to a man's apartment was such a blow to her honor that her father pulled a knife on my son. He's also extremely homophobic.

(cont.)

4. The bride's mother seems nice, but she's memorably clueless: see this story of her reaction to our wedding.

5. NotFroofy is also stressed out because she got a haircut yesterday in preparation for the wedding, and her hair got completely butchered. Edit: NotFroofy got a second haircut. Her hair is still shorter than she wanted it, but at least it is now manageable.

6. Given my other alternatives, I'm thinking that the person I most want to be seated with, aside from NotFroofy, is my ex-husband. And it's not so much that I enjoy his company as that he is the best of a lot of really bad alternatives.

I'm thinking my entertainment at the reception may consist of my beating my head against a wall.

Oh wow 2d bride, I'm so so sorry ... just think at this time next week it'll be over.

Thanks, SoontobeMrs.D! I'm finding it ironic that my son's wedding will be so much more stressful for me than my own wedding was. However, we at least got to choose who would be there for our own wedding.

Have fun, I can't wait to hear all the great stories. Btw I love your sons fmil's reaction to your wedding picture. Too great...

OMG I am so sorry, thats a lot to deal with for one day. I hope it goes well!

I suppose that the good news is that the bride's family lives on the west coast. This means that a) there won't be all that many of them at the wedding, and b) we most likely won't have to have a lot of contact with them after the wedding.

Wow 2d, I kept reading and thinking, wait there's more? You sound like a brave, confident woman from what I've read on your other posts. I'm sure you can handle things and I'm glad NotFroofy will be there as your support. Hopefully everyone will keep things civil for the sake of the couple. Good luck with everything!

Oh, yeah, when I read tales from other brides of family stress during their planning, I was always thankful that we weren't dealing with that in our wedding. But I seem to have more than made up for it with my son's wedding.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that everything goes well and is not too stressful. Your son is getting married - Yay! And he is lucky beyond words to have his mother there for him on that day. I lost my mom 7 years ago on the 18th of March and would trade anything (except FH) to have her there.

SO my guess is that your son is close with your parents, right?

My son's relationship with my parents is... mixed. He's well aware, for example, that my father is an alcoholic and a pedophile. However, like most pedophiles, my father relates to children well. And since my son himself was never left alone with my father before he was an adult, he was never directly affected.

My mother always disapproved of my son when he was growing up--and one of her constant criticisms of me was that if I were a good mother, my son would not be the way he was. (A little detail like his having Asperger's never convinced her that his issues might be related to something other than bad parenting on my part.) Now that he is an adult, she is always amazed at how well he turned out--although of course, I don't get credit for that.

(cont.)

But it's also true that having a grandmother who doesn't think much of you is not nearly as devastating as having a mother who doesn't think much of you. I grew up internalizing her criticisms, while my son was always able to say, "Oh, grandma is just like that!" So at this point he can enjoy my father's company (and win money from him by betting on games that occur late enough in the day so my father is impaired by his drinking), and can tolerate my mother's.

(cont.)

My ex and I joke that he got my parents in the divorce, and I got his. (And we both know that I got the better deal!) So long after I was no longer in contact with my mother, my ex would take the kids to visit my parents.

I know this will sound trite but all I can think of is to one, say I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of that but two, try to ignore them and focus on your son. I think that's the only thing you 'can' do. The grin and bear it, approach. I also recommend a stiff drink or four... strength & courage!

@Karen W.: Oh, I will be working on the ignoring them thing. Drinking is, unfortunately, more problematic for me. Given the family history of alcoholism, I tend to have such negative reactions to alcohol that it doesn't really work for me as something to make situations like this more tolerable.

Strength and courage it is then!

Well, I hope you still get to enjoy the day. May you find joy in your son's smile. And you will have NotFroofy on your arm to lean on if needed.

I hope your old nanny shows up. It should bring such joy to him and I'm sure it will mean a lot. That is still amazing that you found her.

Have a wonderful weekend. Good Luck!

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that in one day. My advice would be this- if you really feel like banging your head on a wall all day at least make sure you have something soft between your head and the wall. Lol. You don't want to have to go to the hospital on your son's wedding day cause you banged your head a tad too hard. hahaha

@Felisha: Hmm. Items to bring to the wedding:

1. Kiddush cup and decanter for the blessing over wine.

2. Sixpence for the bride's shoe.

3. Crash helmet. ;-)