Courthouse wedding before official wedding

I thought the paper marriage was pretty real- good to know I’ve now been not for real married twice.

View Quoted Comment Oh, that’s just paper marriage. Not a real one. I’ll let the IRS know when I file my taxes as single.

View Quoted Comment

Case in point...people get HEATED about this topic. Best to just avoid.

I am not a lawyer, so check it out. But I know when I was in the service ( nurse) we were cautioned not to marry and keep it secret. Any marriage, if you concealed it from family, friends, was still legal, even if you made no outward changes. But the day you sign any paper involving any financial benefit, and use covered services of insurance, claim any financial benefit for education , like states which give in state tuition to spouse of service member, or if there is a death, or any injury which disables either of you, it can be trouble. Insurance company will investigate, if not military at first, and they can prove a legal intent to deceive and defraud if marrying solely or primarily for financial gain, without any sign of the other changes of marriage. Like old common law, you are married if you declare it to the world, most at least, family and friends, you change circumstances of where and how you live to be together, etc. Now if you conceal it, but can show you did marry to make a child be born in wedlock, or to see it an already born child not received parental support since biological parents marrying guarantees that, or to qualify as married to apply for an adoption which would not happen until after later ceremony, but you want to jump start the process, those are valid reasons to be considered really married, whether or not you tell other people, or make any other changes. But without such an overriding legal concern to benefit you and someone else other than financially, is where trouble starts. The a Army will court martial the service member. Usually no imprisonment, but dishonorable discharge due to felony fraud. I knew for years this was true of people who married earlier on paper to get a green card or visa, with no public declaration and no changes to living together as is usual with a "real" marriage. But I've read about more than one case when after using medical benefits of legal spouse, or bringing financial civil suit for malpractice against a doctor whom you only saw because on covered health benefit, no matter how real your illness, or if doctor amputated the wrong arm because drunk, the hospitals ir insurance companies investigate and if the legal loophole is there, married solely for financial benefit, they see to it you get prosecuted. So check with someone with a law degree before doing this for a civil wedding more than a month before your real, announced to the world wedding. The IRS and state tax bureaucracy will go after you if some other entity charges you with intent to deceive for financial gain. . And they will all pursue your electronic trail, like posting your intent on a forum like this, or social media limited access page. What is the point of gaining a small benefit of an insurance premium, if using it and running up a single big bill will not only result in you being liable for every penny insurer paid on your behalf, but a criminal record for each of you. Be careful. Professional licenses and any future job in civil service or financial job from secretary in a law office, to bank officer, will not go through if guilty of financial fraud by deception in past 5 years. And whopping legal bills where you cannot write them off to bankruptcy because you got debt due to your criminal act. Some aspects of marriage law are controlled by states. But most financial and medical things, and insurances, the federal government regulates or partly funds, and

We were told to go to the courthouse when we bought house and I was not into it. It's not how I envisioned myself getting married and it seems like you don't like the idea either. Best to wait for the wedding you want! I don't regret waiting, even though we ended up not getting approved for as much as we would have had we bought the house as a married couple. Plus, my mother would have killed me if I got married without her or my dad there!

My husband and I were in a similar situation where we needed to decide whether or not to do this- it was due to immigration issues for us and needed to be decided immediately. We chose to go ahead and have a civil wedding but then celebrate it with friends and family next year when our wedding was initially planned for. We've let everyone know we have done this and they completely understand why we have had to do it this way and are excited to celebrate with us at our "wedding" next year lol. Sometimes you just do it the way that you have to in the situation you're in

View Quoted Comment

People get heated when someone (you) makes a comment that is disrespectful to people who don't choose the same wedding you do. It's a REAL marriage. My marriage is real, my wedding was real, and your opinion doesn't change that. If my wedding isn't for you, I don't care. I didn't marry you.

My husband and I did this. I have had no health insurance for a few years and hurt my knee and needed a surgury so it was a no brainer. He has amazing insurance and was trying to get me on any other way but it wasn't happening so we went off and got married. We had our immediate family there. My dad and brother and his parents and sister. We all went to dinner and had a great night. I told most of my family and my close friends and they are all thrilled for us and still so excited to come to our wedding to celebrate with us. We had already started planning when I hurt myself so we wanted to continue and have the wedding either way! My husband's immediate family knows and a few close friends but he left out his more extended family. We both dis what made us happy and told who we wanted to know. My husband got a cheep ring for the ceremony and I used my engagement ring. He wears his occasionally arou d our families but usually leaves it off. And I of course wear my ring.... like I said everyone who knows is thrilled for is and still excited for the wedding. I think you should go for it and not care what other people think. If they arnt happy for you then that's their problem!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing your story! If we did it my parents and his parents would definitely come, and we would do what you did and make a night of it. I’m still on the fence about it, but it’s nice to know that it is was positive experience for you!

Wow....I understand the logistics of being on his insurance and taxes, but that can be done at anytime. Depending on when your added to his insurance it won't take affect until the 1st of the next month. As for taxes lol...Being married places income in a totally different tax bracket than a single person.
Without further information as to why the rush I think it's wrong to get married at the court house then pose as an unwed couple in front of friends and family.
It makes no sense at all!

If you go through with it definitely don't hide it. Most people will understand if you do the courthouse wedding and a celebration later. Of you hide, that's when people get hurt and upset.

View Quoted Comment There is a very specific reason why we want me to be on his insurance ASAP. What I need isn’t covered by mine. It’s a long, personal story. Regardless, I agree we shouldn’t hide it. I haven’t decided if I even want to do this, but if we do, we definitely will not hide it. A courthouse wedding is a real wedding.

We did this but we've told everyone that we're legally married. the wedding is going to be our celebration of us but also, the courthouse thing was about 5 minutes and the vows we made were legally required not our own, so we're redoing that as well. be open about it. I don't wear a wedding band and neither does he.