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Megan
Savvy September 2022

Cousin in-law is rude to me but my husband still wants me to have a relationship with her

Megan, on October 29, 2022 at 3:42 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6
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I wrote another post about how my husband's cousin was rude and disrespectful to me at my bridal shower and batchlorette party. I kept her in the wedding party under my husband's request. We all meet up to talk over the issues we had at the bridal shower and batchlorette party and yes she apologized but it didn't seem sincere as she started bringing up issues about me and things I did wrong during while she was trying to apologize...I walked away from that feeling worse as I felt the apology was done just so she would stay in the wedding party. I decided I wouldn't associate with her and only see her at family events.


Months go by after the wedding and she invites my husband and I to her Halloween party. Since it wasn't a family event I decided I'm not going. We didn't rsvp and now she's texting my husband asking him to go and that she planed all this great stuff for him like his favorite drink. I don't feel included and that I'm only invited because I'm now married to my husband. I don't want to go and my husband really wants to go and feels like because they are doing all this stuff for him that he has to go and can't miss it. I'm torn because I don't want to pull my husband away from his cousin but at the same time I want him to respect my wishes to only see her during family events. What should I do? Am I in the wrong?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Michele, on October 30, 2022 at 9:37 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I don’t feel you are in the wrong for setting healthy boundaries with people who have not treated you well. I would just tell your husband to attend the party alone.
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  • Megan
    Savvy September 2022
    Megan ·
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    Yeah I told him to go alone but he thinks that I'm overreacting and should go with him to be respectful.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Respectful to… who? The woman that disrespected YOU over and over again? Nah. I think your husband needs to be respectful of you and your boundaries. Parties are supposed to be fun, and you obviously would not have fun at this one. And you are not attempting to keep him from attending or having fun. Him attending alone should be an acceptable compromise. If anything, I would tell him that it’s possible you will attend events like this in the future, but right now it’s too fresh; and you would appreciate him respecting your feelings and boundaries.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    Your husband can go alone. The two of you are not attached at the hip. And he needs to stop prioritizing his cousin's perceived feelings over the actual feelings you have articulated to him. If the cousin dislikes you this much, she probably doesn't even want you there. This is a husband problem.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I came to say what Willow said. You have a husband problem. He needs to get and stay aligned with you.

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  • M
    Expert July 2023
    Michele ·
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    Family navigation can be so difficult. After previously being married for 39 years and experiencing a similar situation I will speak to this. Personally, I would not try and control my husband's behavior. If he had not respected your boundaries the situation is not with the cousin, it's with him. Maybe when you cool down, you both can have a productive conversation which leads to compromise. Your marriage is far too important to get hung up in the weeds. Step back, breathe deeply and then speak. All the best to you all.
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