Cousin Significant Others

Couples are a social unit and should be invited as such. If you can't afford to invite the entire couple, don't invite either of them.

Anyone in a relationship comes as a package and should be invited as a unit. You should invite both or neither of them.

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I get that that's the etiquette, it's just not been my experience. I have gone to two weddings, one where I was a bridesmaid and one where it was my cousin, where my SO did not get invited. And then my SO went to a wedding that I was not invited, and he still went lol. I didn't hold it against the people that didn't invite my SO, so maybe I just am hoping it could be the same for me.

Nearly everyone has budgetary and venue limit reasons for keeping to a certain number of guests. Nothing about your situation makes it OK, from a polite hosting standpoint, to not invite significant others. I agree with PP that if you don't have room for the whole couple, you don't have room for half the couple.

There's another active thread about someone being (rightfully) annoyed that her partner of 5 years is not invited with her to her cousin's wedding. This kind of thing damages relationships. I would reconsider.

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I wouldn't hold it against someone, but I wouldn't attend a party to celebrate their relationship while they blatantly disrespect mine.

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I get what you're saying. In my experience though I was invited to my cousin's wedding and I was living with my SO and he was not invited. I didn't think about it for a second. Maybe I'm just too easy going.

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Other people being rude and discourteous to their guests doesn't mean that you should be, too. Couples should be invited as couples, not separated.

I feel like the minority here, but I would totally understand you not expanding your limit. It's not your fault that your budget can only afford so many, and you don't want to miss out on having the person you know and love somewhere just because you can't afford to feed their s/o.

I do agree with the engaged/married rule, although I went to a wedding in December where my FH hadn't been invited even though we were engaged at the time, but I still wasn't upset because I knew that it was for financial reasons, and I was just honored that I was still invited despite not being family.

I get that the etiquette is to let people bring their s/os, but I also empathize with having a budget that only allows for so many people. I think if you break on this, then there will be room for other s/os to come out of the woodwork. It's better to stick with the rule that you have.

I probably wouldn't attend a wedding if my fiance wasn't invited. But you've chosen the "no ring, no bring" rule. I think sticking to that rule is fine. If your cousin has been with her for 5 years, he probably needs to propose anyway.

Definitely don’t make an exception for ONE person. I’m strongly in camp “all significant others should be invited” but if you’re going ahead and not inviting “just SOs” I think it is essential to be consistent. Otherwise, you have no rule and you’re just excluding people. At least being consistent with your rule you can say to anyone who asks “I’m sorry we just couldn’t invite SOs” ...but once you’ve invited a rogue SO, you can’t say that anymore. Suddenly it’s a fairness competition and feelings get hurt. No thank you.
Consider it from the other perspective: Youre invited to a wedding but your FH is not. You’re maybe a bit bummed but you hear no SOs so you deal. But then you sit down at your table and you see you’re next to a cousin ...and her boyfriend. Doesn’t feel good even if you initially didn’t mind so much

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Snaps! If he wants her to come, tell him to put a ring on it! haha

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Thats a great point. I definitely agree with this.

I would probably not go to a wedding if my significant other wasn’t invited, especially if I had been with them for years.

A lot of people have a no ring no bring rule.


If your cousin has never brought his gf around to meet family, despite many opportunities in the past 5 years, then I question whether your cousin feels the relationship is as significant as your mother feels it is. That's on him. Also, it's your mother, not the cousin himself who is asking about the extra invite.
I'd stand my ground. Once you make one exception, you'll be expected to make more.

Not being invited isn't rude; everyone understands there are financial limits.

Being invited without your partner is rude; how can you ask people to celebrate your relationship when you're insulting theirs? I wouldn't go if my partner wasn't invited, too.

It's not the ring or the length of time that matters; it's the commitment. If you're a couple, you're a social unit.

In general it is proper etiquette to invite everyone’s SOs but in this situation I think it’s ok to break it. Your cousins will be attending with their families so it’s not like they’ll be coming alone or anything. They can spend one night without their SO (and if they’re so serious after 5 years why aren’t they engaged? 🤨)

Honestly, I’d consider cutting all cousins to allow the other guests to bring their S.O. or a guest if they don’t know anyone.

I agree with the people saying being invited without your partner is rude. It is not our place to decide who's in a serious relationship and who's not.

Everyone on here is saying the cousin needs to propose to his gf of 5 years. We have no idea how old the cousin is. If they got together in high school, they are still relatively young. Let's not judge the seriousness of someone's relationship by whether or not they are engaged. My aunt and uncle were together for 17 years and had 2 children before they decided to get married.

I would not attend a wedding that my SO wasn't invited to. I'm not going to celebrate your relationship while you are not acknowledging mine.

MMM minority here. DO WHAT YOU WANT. I had the same rule, made an exception for one of my favorite cousins who has been with her partner for 5 years and didn't make an exception for my other cousin who has been with his SO for 1 year and living together. He was annoyed that he couldn't bring her and got over it. We all had a great time. People are going to disagree with everything you do, so do what you will be able to live with and enjoy your day. People will either not show up or come and have fun. If they decide not to show up over your decision, you probably wouldn't have wanted them there anyway.