Cousin who wants to invite her bf

In my opinion, She shouldn't be invited either! Save the headache! Congratulations on your special day!

Anyone going should get a plus one. Not mandatory but the right thing to do

Tara that’s not true at all. Not everyone has the budget or space for everyone to get a plus one. If it’s not a serious relationship why would you want a total stranger at your wedding. I agree with the first poster, I wouldn’t invite her at all.

View Quoted Comment By "new" that could mean they've only been together a month. I moved in with fh exactly 1 month after meeting him and we are now getting married. Its not our place to validate the seriousness of a relatiinshio. If you dont have the budget to make sure people dont have to come alone then dont invite them, plain and simple.

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She still lives with her mom and my great uncle and is apart of a family group. She also doesn't seem to understand that we're not as close as we use to be. She is also a year and 2 days younger than I am. She also does photography which isn't always a bad thing but she might also try to butt him in that way too, since they do it together.

View Quoted Comment You and many others feel that way. But over a long period of years, most people have not, which is how the etiquette standard, must invite spouses and live together couple, should invite anyone in a serious exclusive relationship of many months standing, or more, and entirely optional for couples known to be short term so far, though granted their relationship may grow strong, more often than not "together 2-4 months" is not a predictor they will become a long lasting couple. .The second issue here is, how well does she even like this girl? If she is part of a family unit and parents come, and she does not want to without new boyfriend, she can say, " sorry my wedding isn't important enough to you to come for that reason, if not a dating occasion. " From your point of view, no one's wedding is important enough to come to if not a dating occasion. How horrible a standard, to turn down weddings for family and people you have known for years, for relationships of few months standing. Clearly you put all romantic relationships of however short term, over long term caring and family.

View Quoted Comment I didnt look at it that way, but she doesn't even bother coming to other events I invite her to. She has also complained about not getting to meet my fiance, simply because she didnt bother to show up to my graduation party when he was there for my family to meet him and only acts friendly to me at family events. I had brought this up because she was wondering were my fiance (bf at the time) was when my cousins got married (I was not gonna bring him due to the fact that I didn't know how they would feel).

View Quoted Comment My opinion was that no one should be made to go alone. She didnt initially state that her cousin is part of a group invite so that obviously changes things but since she clearly doesnt want people she doesnt know or like then there her cousin should have never been invited. All i said was that its never our place to determine the seriousness of a relationship. Thats my opinion you dont have to agree with it, isnt that a wonderful thing

As to wanting to be a bridesmaid, she obviously is not close enough. And obligatory bridesmaids, chosen because someone else like family pushes you, or they want it when you never considers them close, are often ones we hear complaints about on here. " I don't know why I gave in and chose her, to keep the peace, when she has spent the whole time criticizing every choice I make, my, my FI, and anything or anyone that does not fit her idea of how things should be- her way! " A summary of hundreds of complaints where brides have not made excessive demands, and still the unfortunately chosen bm has made wedding planning a headache.

Your wedding is a year and a half away. She could be married to this guy before then.

Good or bad, I'd probably let her bring him. Call her and ask what she's planning on doing. I'm not super with my cousins.I don't have many of their numbers. But we care about each other, respect each other, and will always support each other. If I suspected one would want to bring a date, I'd invite them. Weddings are hard to navigate alone(even if you know some people). Remember even if you invite 82 there will likely be some no-shows. We're expecting about 20 of our 140 to rsvp no.

What we did on the save the dates is just put the name of who we knew. And then we just sent out invitations and added the names of their girlfriends. Though, most have been together for at least a year. If you have a year that relationship could be completely different.

View Quoted Comment I agree. I’d assume they were serious and put him on the guest list. If not you can still take him off

I know you don't like confrontation so you've got basically 2 options.
Be straight forward with her about this being your day. You can even word it like, 'I'm sorry about going all bridezilla but I have a set budget and a seating chart, so when you receive your invitation please understand that it it just for you."
Be straight forward with her about this being your day. If she asked you to be a brides maid TELL HER NO. If you had wanted her to be one you would have asked.

Or....

Second option...let her do whatever she wants, bring who she wants, and be in your wedding party...and basically just run the show of what is supposed to be your special day.

My future mother in law asked me if her daughter could be one of my brides maids and I said, "I like T, but I don't know her that well. I only have a couple of friends that I've had in my life for years and I plan on asking them....plus frankly I'd like it if none of the family was in the wedding party so everyone can relax and enjoy the day."

View Quoted Comment Very good point. The options by then will either be they're definitely in a serious relationship and he should be invited or they won't be together at all and you're stressing for nothing.

I wouldn’t waste time worrying about it this far out, but when it comes time any BF/GF should be invited as per etiquette. It’s not right to judge or place arbitrary rules on someone else’s relationship. If they are dating, they have a SO and should be invited regardless of how long they’ve been together, their living arrangement, or any other self imposed rules. It sounds to me like you just don’t like this cousin and are looking for a loophole. Don’t stress about it or allow your feeling towards her to upset you. You’ll be so busy on your wedding day you’ll hardly notice her or her date.

Your wedding is in 2020. It's way too early to be worrying about this, much less making a decision. What will you do if they are engaged or married by then?

So why are you inviting her again? This is YOUR wedding and you should be surrounded by people who love and celebrate you. All others need not be in attendance if they are not sincere towards you and FH.

First of take a moment to breath it will be fine. Your wedding is still far enough out you dont have to stress your self out over this. Deal with it when you are sending out the invites. If she is still with him then invite him. On the bridesmaid part if you dont want her to be one then just let her know. I know this may be hard for you but this is your wedding and you have to stand up for yourself!!!

I wouldn’t worry about it until it’s time for invites to go out. They could still be together and then what? Your not going to invite her bf of over a year? That would be rude

Are you inviting in circles?? Is she in a circle of first cousins? If not, do not even invite her. Most certainly do NOT let her bully her way into your bridal party.

It seems to me that if you invite her, she should be included as part of the family unit she lives with. Folks’ concern for her attending alone is invalid. She will at the very least be there with her family. Best to you. You’ve got this!