Cousin's fiancé passed away -

I know that this is in no way the same, but my great uncle just passed so on the invitation i just put my great aunt's name - mind you he had been sick for a while so we have all been preparing.

I know it might seem tough but I would ask your cousin - asking will let him know that he is still included and loved by you and your family while also letting him know you are trying to be sensitive to his grief.

I agree with jessyca- ask him. I would just address the envelope to him.

I had a friend that was struggling g after a recent divorce. I addressed hers just to her but let her know that she was more than welcome to bring a friend or date with her if she wanted.

I would ask either your cousin or, if you don't want to ask him directly, perhaps family members who are close to him. You are being very considerate by not wanting to upset him!

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Thank you! Yeah maybe I'll reach out to my aunt and see what she thinks since they're really close.

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That's a good idea, thank you!

We also had a recent death in the family. I put the invite in a condolence card and then put in a personal note saying how I was sorry, hope they could come if they felt up to it.

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Oh that's a really smart idea. I'll definitely write him a note and add it to the invitation! Thank you for that.

View Quoted Comment You’re welcome!

View Quoted Comment I love this idea!

I would absolutely invite him. I would likely address the invite just to him, but have a conversation with him letting him know he is welcome to bring a friend if he'd like. The condolences card idea is fantastic.

You are over thinking it. Mr. Jones and Guest.

I think you need to ask him. Or if you don't feel comfortable just do what Judith said

Address it to him.

I'm going to go against everyone else and say I would not put a condolences card in with your wedding invitation. I would be utterly appalled to receive a condolences card in a wedding invitation. "Sorry your beloved died, come to my wedding!" If you want to send a card, send it completely separate from your wedding invitation. His late FS's death should not be lumped in with your wedding.

If you are truly worried, use that archaic method of communication called the telephone. A personal phone call to say, "I've sent you a wedding invitation, and would love for you to attend, but I will understand whatever you respond" would be a very gentle way to prepare him for receiving it, and also make it clear that you would cherish his presence, but understand if it is not feasible for him. This would also be the time to mention to him that he is welcome to bring a guest if he would like.

The number one thing to remember when dealing with someone who has experienced a fresh loss is flexibility. The tides of grief change wildly, and your wedding is still four months away. How he feels today, or whenever he told your parents he didn't think he would attend, may not reflect how he feels in four months. When we lost my dad in March last year, my mom swore she wouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas because she would be too sad seeing his empty chair at the table - but by the time Thanksgiving actually came around, she had changed her mind.

View Quoted Comment I wholeheartedly agree with Eniale about separating the sympathy card and wedding invitation. Sending both is a good idea, but sending them together is likely to come across poorly, in my opinion.

Oh srry for his lost but just send it in his name only you that he will not bring plus 1 and since this was going to be him also. It will make him sad but sending it he may still come but if he dont you know why and send a card to him months before you send the invitation of condolences

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I've already sent him condolences and talked with him about it via "archaic communication" separately.

You're right about not actually putting it with a condolence card. I was more thinking about writing a separate note, but perhaps that's not necessary given we've already talked.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Only his on the envelope, with a note inside that says he is welcome to bring a date or friend to the wedding.