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Savvy November 2020

Covid and In-laws rant

Sam, on November 11, 2020 at 10:18 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 21
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HELP.


So my ffil (I work with him) has been out sick for the past 3 days. I asked someone and they informed me that both my future in laws are sick and getting covid testing today (Wednesday 11/11) mind you we get married Saturday (11/14) so I called my FH while at work and asked if he knew and told him they cannot come unless they have negative results to which he agreed. He messaged his parents with me in a group and his mom decided to call him instead and tell him that they planned on coming anyway to which he said he had to talk to my parents. Long story short my parents got in an argument with his parents because they told them they cannot come unless there are negative results. They are now in my FH ear making him feel bad for this decision as he’s their only child despite the fact they are lacking human decency here and would rather people get sick. I have remained firm that they can’t come unless results are negative but it’s been a super stressful day and it’s so close to the wedding. They were sick all weekend but decided to wait 3 days until we get married to get tested instead of going first thing Monday. I just need prayers that this works out and they will be decent humans and only come with negative results.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Sharon, on November 14, 2020 at 10:08 AM
  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    Ugh...sorry you have to even deal with this. Depending on your state most venues won't allow anyone who has tested positive in. They're putting too many people at risk. Here's hoping they test negative and if not they'll come to their senses and not go.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Omg, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Are you getting married inside a venue or somewhere outside?
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    This may be out of line, but I would insist on seeing the negative result with my own eyes before letting them attend. They seem like the kind of people that would lie just so they could come.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Oh wow that is a stressful situation. Hopefully their results comes back negative
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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    They totally are! My parents already told them they need to see the papers first before they can come. It’s amazing that they aren’t taking it serious!
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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    Thank you, we are getting married inside!
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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    Thank you. We are in Ohio but our venue isn’t considered a wedding venue and they don’t have any workers there or anything - they told us everything we do is on us. So we made the right decision and said they wouldn’t be able to come unless the results come back negative but I know they will still try to. These next two days will be super stressful!!
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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    Yes very stressful!! I hope so too, we can’t risk people getting sick!
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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    Tbh - and I am not one to be super strict with covid protocols - at this point I don't think they should go at all, positive or negative. Even if the test comes back negative, they are actively sick with something 2 days before the wedding. Even if they don't have covid, they could pass on whatever they do have (flu, regular cold/sinus/respiratory infection), which still is no fun and is probably going to worry a bunch of people there. If they're sick they should stay home, covid or not. Jmho.

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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    I totally agree. I am also not strict with protocols and I know there are people are believe covid to a certain extent and what not. I guess they don’t believe the virus at all? But I know at least they can’t get people sick that’s common sense. They are lacking it. With all the drama they have started in the past 2 months I don’t want them to come but my FH really wants them too but they won’t be allowed in without negative results. I suggested they could watch from outside if results aren’t back but they couldn’t come inside or be around people, they could watch from outside and leave or do a zoom type thing but those aren’t good enough for them. I also offered doing another ceremony once they are better and getting dressed up so we could do photos but again not good enough for them
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    And even though he's their only son it's selfish on their parts and not fair to your other guests. Can they watch livestream?
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  • A
    Devoted May 2021
    Ally ·
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    I completely agree with you, obviously if they have not received that negative Covid result they can’t go. But you also have to understand this is their only child’s wedding, and imagine if they missed that. If it was me, I would be frantically calling my venue asking them to move it back or for other options. Your FH will likely be heartbroken if he can’t have his own parents at his wedding, as will they. But unfortunately these are the types of problems that we face when having weddings during a pandemic
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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
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    Honestly, even if they test negative, it's risky for them to come while sick. This really sucks. Do you have any options to postpone even by a week? If not, I'd have them Zoom in. So sorry.

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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    ^ this.
    They shouldn’t come if they do not have negative results. And like others have said they really shouldn’t come if they are sick at all. You aren’t wrong in that thinking, however FH would be upset if his parents aren’t at his wedding and he is their only child. I’d also be on the phone trying to see if we couldn’t push it back so that my FH’s parents could attend our wedding.
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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    Hi Jayne. Correct I don’t want them there if it risks the health of other people, that’s caring isn’t it? It would be selfish if they came sick especially during this time. I would love to have them there but unless there’s a negative test for both of them, they will not be welcome. I understand it’s their son and I offered some sort of video call so they can see or watch from outside the venue through the window. Let me remind you- if I didn’t find out they were going to come and risk people getting Sick. I cannot have that and if anything I’m caring for my guests- they are not. And don’t worry. My parents are pissed at them (they are friends) and they don’t care to talk to them. Show a little compassion for a bride who is wanting to get married Saturday and dealing with the stress of people trying to come with the possibility of them have Covid.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    You know you are in the right, don't worry. I am really sorry you are dealing with this and I have no advice other than continuing to present a united front with your future spouse. I realize it probably makes it EXTRA difficult that you work with your future father-in-law.

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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    I agree with this you are right

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    I would have the following response:

    What's more selfish, saying sick people can't be at our wedding? Or, we would like to protect our guests at all costs?

    They are framing it as wanting to spread their germs, you are framing it as wanting to protect yourself and other loved ones.

    Your FH needs to be firm on this, and you should set up a video stream for them to watch.

    COVID or not, they are sick NOW and could spread who knows what to everyone at the wedding... and everyone those people know!

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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    Thank you to everyone who was kind!!! We get married today and his parents ended up testing positive so they will not be there!!! We are actually doing a small ceremony hours before the large one for just his parents and mine where we will be outside and they stand far away but can still see!
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  • S
    Savvy November 2020
    Sam ·
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    Thanks Sharon! They tested positive last night so we will be streaming for them as well as holding an outside one for them with just them and my parents so they can stand far away but still see us!
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