covid blues/depression - no motivation to keep planning

Daughter's wedding was almost two years ago, so well before Covid. They were engaged for ~18 months. In the first 6-7 months she took care of all the vendors, ordered and received her dress, and pretty much had everything done except the small, "last minute" kinds of things. She ended up basically taking a break from wedding planning for about 8-9 months. She had time to put into other projects, focus more on work, summer vacations, etc. She just enjoyed the planning break, and was then excited and ready to go again for the last 3.5 months when she handled all the final details and last minute stuff.... It worked out great! She had plenty of time to get super excited again before the wedding.

Regardless of wedding planning, I think it's really understandable that you are exhausted and discouraged by Covid -- especially in CA, things are really rough right now. At the same time, your wedding is still almost 17 months away (like I said, that's about the total amount of time of daughter & SIL's entire engagement, and she still had about 9 months with little wedding planning to do). From what I've read, the current hope is that things in the US might start to "normalize" (whatever that means...) by early fall. At that point, you'll still have 6-9 months. Based on your posts, it seems like you've been a very excited and motivated planner, but once you have most stuff done, it's normal to take a break and focus on other things for a while. Every minute of a long engagement isn't going to be filled with intense wedding planning.... Good luck to you!

I can tell you that even pre-COVID, excitement about planning will ebb and flow for most people, especially those with longer engagements. Wedding planning burnout is also a very real thing, and you don't want to be so busy planning that you forget to enjoy your engagement. Add the stress of COVID, and, well, your situation is totally understandable!

I got engaged August of 2018 and almost immediately set a date for October 2020. We got a ton of stuff done by the end of 2018 and I was able to take a nice long break and work on things here and there. About a year out, I started up again with booking my florist and hair/makeup.

When news about COVID came out in February, I had just sent out our save the dates and was looking forward to really getting into the details. But I was honestly so stressed and overwhelmed and uncertain that I just.. stopped planning until June/July, when we made our decision to downsize. Then it was a whirlwind of trying to communicate that decision and make our gathering as safe as possible.

No one knows what the future holds or what other pandemics we may have in our future, but I think that time is on your side and that 2022 will look very different (in a good way!).

Are you and your fiancé doing date nights at home or anything like that? DH and I started doing at-home movie nights every Friday where we order takeout and pick a movie to stream - we alternate who picks the food/movie each week. We started this in the summer and it's given us something fun to look forward to! We also try to get out to the park every weekend; the world doesn't seem as gloomy when you're out in nature.

This has totally happened to me, I have found myself feeling completely lost during covid and definitely unmotivated about my wedding. I tried everything, but the only thing that snapped me out of it was human interaction. My fiance and I went to stay with my parents and siblings for a little while, and I came out a literally different person. They were in a bubble with my aunt's family next door, so I went from being able to see 1 person (my fiance) to being able to see 9. Remember that your mental health matters a lot. Since I left their house, I have socialized more--always following the rules, always safely, but definitely with others.

My fiance also took a break from planning and went on drives to see beautiful parts of our area and to see Christmas lights around the holidays. Just leaving our apartments was such a relief, it took our minds off of everything.

What you're describing sounds like the completely normal and common reaction to ~9 months of ongoing stress and uncertainly (with no end in sight). I would try not to connect those feelings to your wedding because they are separate things. It's OK to feel down, low energy, sad, etc. We are in a global pandemic and positivity isn't a realistic way to feel 100% of the time.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I would try to remain optimistic. With vaccines finally rolling out, I think our country/world will be in a very different state come summer of 2022. I think stepping back from planning for a while is a wise choice. You did start planning a little early, so you probably only have small details left to plan. Once anyone gets to this point, it becomes slightly less exciting than the major stuff. I would pick back up at the end of 2021 or beginning of 2022 with a fresh, positive outlook.

Hi Girls!

Our wedding was moved from April 2020 to June 2021, due to these crazy & uncertain COVID-19 times. I was incredibly stressed with planning! When my sisters saw my frustration, they decided to make a present for me, and bought me 9-month susbscription to MissToMrs Boxes!

Really I’ve been a little down with brainstorming for my wedding because of pandemic but receiving my MissToMrs box gave me some hope that everything will be ok!As COVID affecting a lot of engagement celebrations, it’s nice to have a little box of fun bridal stuff come to remind me that I am a bride! It is so much exciting to open my box!

Everyday I use my new planner, countdown calendar, jewelry wipes!

It's really a cute staff to celebrate the engagement and make the next steps in wedding planning!

We got engaged June 2019 for our October 2021 wedding. We booked our venue, DJ, photographer and videographer before 2019 was over. My dress and veil were chosen a year ago yesterday! We booked our florist and baker last May and July, respectively. Our room blocks were also reserved last summer. That's how "on it" we've been.

We were originally looking at 150-175 people, including a lot of out of town guests, and now that's not a possibility due to COVID. Our venue will NOW only accommodate 85 people (with the current COVID restrictions). Ok fine. The salesperson we booked with has LEFT the company and we're not feeling the person we now have. On top of that, she's not even bothering to change the number of people to 85; she wants us to pay the for the 155 people we originally estimated even IF we cannot HAVE 155. It's totally blown the wind out of my planning sails, and I LOVE TO PLAN.

I feel you, but you do have so much time and it does sound like you already know it...so much can happen between now and summer of 2022, and I believe it will be for the better! Still, knowing it doesn't always mean "feeling it" and it's ok to move through these feelings of burn out for now. It sounds like you are doing ok and I'm sure your big day will be great!

My wedding was scheduled for September 2020, then got postponed to May 29th, 2021. It's a destination wedding (Hawaii) and obviously, we didn't know a pandemic gauntlet was about to be thrown down when we signed on for the venue and paid the deposits. I want to feel excited about our special day, but I just feel depressed, anxious and uncertain. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to because the few that I have, haven't been the most supportive. Maybe was just bum luck, but I was basically told, "We're in the middle of the pandemic. There are bigger things to worry about, like public health, safety, etc." and I do worry about those things too, but I guess now I just feel ashamed for wanting this and I don't want to feel that way about my wedding day. It feels so close, and still so far, and without much motivation or joy in it anymore.

Anyway, sorry for the venting...I'm sure you're doing great! I am so positive things can only be for the better by 2022!

Yes! We got married on our original day (my mom was diagnosed with cancer just before, so we made a last minute decision to elope in even though we had already canceled the wedding), and put a new date on the calendar for a "redo" wedding celebration. Now we need to move that date again because of Covid, so we'll be on our third wedding date. Plus, we're in our mid/late 30s and cannot put off trying for a family any longer, so that is another factor that makes picking a new date super challenging.

I don't feel excited, just anxious. Because we are already married I want to change our event a bit so it isn't just "wedding theater" but I can't bring myself to come up with a new plan, especially when I don't even believe it will happen. I'm doing all of the coordinating, which I'm really good at, but its exhausting, especially with all of the emotions involved. I feel an immense amount of pressure to make good, safe decisions based on information no one actually knows. I'm preparing myself to be disappointed again, and feel like unless everything is drastically better by summer, there is no way we will be able to have both a wedding and a baby. I just feel like I cannot picture our day anymore, and it makes me really sad.

I am so sorry you are going through this but you are very much not alone!