covid cancellation - makes me question it all

Wow. I’m so very sorry, and am not quite sure what to say honestly. If they are not willing to be vaccinated, it sounds like it’s either a go forward and hope it changes by then or a cancellation. I hate that he is 100% for cancellation. I don’t think there is a winning side here. 😢

Is there somewhere nearby you can change the location to where the vaccination isn’t required? I know it’s not ideal but it’s better than completely cancelling.
I’m sorry they are putting you in this situation 😢 I hope you can come to a solution

It sounds like your fiancé is quick to point out the wedding is just about the two of you when there are issues on your side, but then he’s quick to abandon that idea once it involves his own family. Marriage is about support, commitment and compromise; and he’s not demonstrating these qualities. In my opinion, he is being selfish and unreasonable. You have spent a lot of time and money on a wedding that he has been pushing to move forward with. And, as he has pointed out to you in the past, the wedding is about the two of you. Of course it would be wonderful to have all family and friends be able to attend, but that doesn’t always happen. The burden of attendance needs to be placed on the mother and best man- If the wedding is important enough, they would get vaccinated to attend. If not, then that is their choice. You can live stream the ceremony for unvaccinated individuals, should the vaccine mandate still be in effect at that time- that way they will be there with you (virtually)real-time, they can witness the ceremony, and you can talk to them quickly after the ceremony if you choose to.

View Quoted Comment This!! Is there a medical reason why they can't get vaccinated or is it a choice? Choices have consequences and if not getting a shot is more important than attending your son/best friend's wedding then that's very telling and a loss for them.


Also, if one town has already adopted these mandates indefinitely it's just a matter of time before others do as well. So you might run into the same problem at a different venue if you chose to find a new one, plus you'd still be out all that money.

View Quoted Comment

I totally agree with Cece and Monica on this one. Why is there only option one (to him, presumably): to cancel the wedding entirely? Why couldn't y'all livestream it for those unwilling/unable to get vaccinated and proceed with your wedding plans? That's a lot of money in deposits, and I would hate for y'all to lose it without getting any type of wedding experience in return. I totally agree that decisions have consequences (assuming it's a decision to forego the vaccine), and two people (albeit 2 VIPs) should not have the power to completely destroy Y'ALLS' wedding plans. Also want to echo that your wedding is about the two of you, not about his mom, and not about his best man. I would also recommend trying to talk this out further with him to make your voice heard, as I can definitely imagine there would be resentment/fallout from this decision in terms of y'alls' relationship. It does not sound like this topic is decided/done/closed, and I do not think you should proceed in telling your family of your plans to cancel over the holidays. Please consider taking more time (perhaps over the next week or two or three, after the stress of the holidays) to talk this out between y'all (and make sure he hears your perspective loud and clear). You are a very important half of this relationship, as is he. Your opinion really matters here (and always).

P.S. I noticed that you mentioned you paid for the deposits - this is a rhetorical question, and I just want to throw it out there. Might his perspective change if he had a bit of "skin in the game," so to speak, and y'all were gonna be out the money instead of just you being out the money?

P.P.S. Best of luck in your discussions with him!

Thanks all for the support- I’m soo aggravated. We talked today and think we will arrange a 💯 outdoor - small- distanced ceremony with catering at some cottage he has access to . We will cut the guest list and keep Covid seating protocols.
Instead of a fancy wedding planned- we will cut down.
It does have some good possibilities as there is a water view we could make an arch in and I guess this helps budgetI was soo mad at him not working with me- but I think we found a way to include all vips

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I think we found a family cottage we can use for an outdoor scaled down party- while keeping Covid protocols- not ideal- but you’re right better than nothing.

View Quoted Comment Thank you- I think this was one of many of the real compromises we will face. No excuse for his poor communication- but I do like his outdoor option soo better than canceling completely… I think he may have meant cancel the venue ( and I took it as cancel everything!) still he needs to communicate better 😂🙄

View Quoted Comment I agree- it was very poorly handled by him- the vaccination topic was always something I thought would happen. I am happy we found a potential alternative- but not happy about how we got here- not tam work at all

View Quoted Comment It’s one of those- already had Covid- don’t need the vaccine…. Even though that’s so not true!

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My fiancé snd I have also been planning for years and have postponed, and just this week our destination location is enforcing vaccine mandates. My fiancé’s mother, sister, and his best man’s wife are not vaccinated and are now not coming. It felt soul crushing and devastating. My only advice to you guys is to still get married. This pandemic isn’t going anywhere, and there won’t be an old normal for them to attend years down the road. The world has forever changed. I recommend moving forward with whoever can attend. It’s about your union at the end of the day, and not conveniencing everyone to the point of making yourself miserable, no matter how important those people are.