Covid - ridiculously stressed out

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We did have guest baskets set up in the bathroom with sanitizer, and the venue itself had sanitizer, but we didn't put it at every table like some people do. We didn't provide masks - those who wanted them had them with them, and those who didn't still likely had them on hand anyway. I sort of feel like at this point, it's rare that people don't have a mask on. or near them, so you're likely fine without them. My cousin brought her baby (8 mos.), and they brought a big box of masks for anyone who asked to hold him, which I think was smart! Otherwise, speaking as someone who was absolutely losing her mind about COVID stress in July, it did end up working out beautifully and although your big day is in October, I'd guess the situation will be about the same. Also - with vaccine mandates left and right, you might just see a higher percentage of vaccinated guests after all!

View Quoted Comment Awesome! My mom said she didn’t really want to put that stuff out everywhere and said what you said about people having the stuff with them if they wanted it!


Thanks so much! You have really made me feel so much better!

This is something I am starting to get concerned about as well.

You're not a monster! It's a very personal decision and a tough line to walk. You may risk some people not attending, but that is their choice to make and you will have a beautiful day no matter what! For us, we decided to ask that all guests in attendance (over the age of 12) be fully vaccinated because we knew that 90%+ of our guest list are vaccinated already, and my grandfather (the only grandparent we have between the two of us) is in his 90s with two serious conditions that make him high-risk. He is fully vaccinated, but the breakthrough cases with the Delta variant tend to more likely for high-risk people, and my FH and I agreed that we would rather protect him than have a handful of guests decline our invitation.

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Please check your facts. This is not correct.

I think it's a good idea to inform guests at least that not everyone is vaccinated. It's informed consent then if they choose to attend. It's not a personal insult to say someone's unvaccinated, but if they could potentially cause harm then I think you need to take that into consideration. I am so sad that this wave of delta variant is here, so much preventable illness happening. I hope you all have amazing weddings!

My wedding is in 3 weeks. I actually received an rsvp today with a note saying “we will come for the outdoor cocktail hour but dont feel safe eating dinner indoors”. I don’t even know what to think. I understand people’s feelings but I don’t feel like I should pay for them to come for half of the wedding.

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The concern is legitimate though. Can you see if the vendor/caterer can offer just the bar portion for those people? You can't really uninvite them.

My wedding is October 31, and I have sent numerous disclaimers that there would be absolutely no hard feelings whatsoever if people decide not to attend due to concerns about Covid. I told them they can watch the Live Video feed if they'd rather not attend in person, AND each person who doesn't come is one less dinner to pay for and one less seating arrangement to stress over.

Sarah, you are spot on, and offered reasonable solutions for your guests. If anyone is fearful, they can skip the wedding. This is YOUR day; it's not about them. There is no way we are doing masks or anything like that at our wedding. Everyone knows the risks for their own personal circumstances, and they can plan accordingly for themselves. It's not the bride's and groom's job to make their guests feel safe when in reality there's not much to fear.

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Megan, agree 100%! Just don't include them in the dinner count. Technically, you don't have to pay for a seat at the table if they won't be there to eat. Food and beverage are typically billed separately at most venues, so there may be a workaround. Alternatively, find someone else to take their place for the reception or use it for one of your vendors (photographer, DJ, band, minister, etc.).

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Liz W., maybe your grandpa should have just stayed home if his health was the concern. Mandates are not cool!

My wedding is in a little under a month and I think about this daily.

We're having an out-of-town wedding (we're originally from different states) and we want people to make the right choice for them, not out of obligation, or worry of offending us. I'm wording an email to let people know as much. We love our guests, whether they chose to celebrate us in person or not.

Onsite, we'll be providing masks and several sanitizer stations for those who do choose to be there with us.

I do not blame you on not wanting to ask others to test or for their vaccination status. My husband and I got married in November 2020, just as numbers in our area were

(Oops! Submitted too soon!) starting to soar. Our guest list was within the allowed number for our venue, and we had decided that even if we had to reduce the list, as long as our immediate families and wedding party could attend, the show would go on. A box of masks were available at the entrance for guests who wanted or needed one, and customized hand sanitizer was at each table. The ceremony room would have been very limited for space, so we made a last minute decision to have the ceremony in the reception area, with guests sitting at their tables. While we had quite a few people who declined the invitation, we still had about 85 in attendance. We had some people find out very last minute that they had to quarantine and were unable to come. We did not take any of this personally, as we knew they would’ve been there under normal circumstances. Some wedding party members chose to wear masks during the ceremony, and others didn’t. Some people danced and mingled, and others didn’t. They each did what was within their own personal comfort zone and what they felt was best for them. Circumstances regarding the coronavirus are continually changing, as more is being researched and learned each day. All you can ask of guests is to make the decision whether or not to attend based on what is best for them and ask for their blessing, even if it is from afar!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this suggestion. Honestly I didnt see this coming, as I thought everyone would be vaccinated. Apparently they are now asking if we will have windows open for dinner or not. I have had covid before and I am now vaccinated so I understand the concern but I don’t want to guarantee windows being open when I really don’t know if they will be. I didnt realize they wouldnt be counted for dinner but that makes me feel better!

View Quoted Comment Seriously? She should uninvite her own grandfather from her wedding because a few people on her guest list aren’t vaccinated and she doesn’t want him exposed to that? No. She didn’t mandate anyone to *get* the vaccine - she just asked people not to attend her event if they aren’t willing to. She has every right to ask that for the protection of all her other guests.

View Quoted Comment My thoughts exactly. We haven’t had to postpone yet - got engaged 3 months into the pandemic so it only postponed us getting engaged bc we had started ring shopping in Feb 2020 and then had to stop. But we booked our date at almost 18 months out thinking come on, it’s gotta be better by then, right? Now I’m worried that by Nov we’ll be back in lockdown and it feels like there’s no point in doing any more planning, let alone trying to enjoy the last few months leading up to the wedding. It’s infuriating that we are still dealing with this when there are enough vaccines available that we could’ve been back to normal by now. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this again.

I’m not so much concerned about vaccination status as I am about everyone’s concern about Covid. We booked our venue already and gave everyone the option to wear a mask or not but I’m very concerned that everyone will be too paranoid to even come and will just zoom everything. I’m hoping that’s not the case. The wedding takes place outside.

I know that most of my guests are vaccinated, but we are sending out invites in the next week or 2 for our christmas wedding. We know that a LOT can change between now and then so we just included an enclosure card stating that masks are optional - if you want to wear one no one will be offended. If anything changes regarding masks with our venue, we can put it on our website and spread it by word of mouth but i’m comfortable with our decision