Covid vaccines, tests, guests, vendors

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Hi Maggie!

Just wanted to encourage you to read some additional information provided in the posts above. I don't want you to think that vaccines are only effective for a few months based on the misinformation being spread on this thread. It is unknown how long immunity from vaccines persist and this is currently being studied!

We are getting married May 22, 2021 and are trying to navigate this question ourselves. We realize that the choice to get the vaccine or not is personal but we also feel a responsibility to minimize risk to our guests to the greatest extent possible. Myself and my fiancé are vaccinated however we know opinions on the vaccine and covid in general are varied amongst our guests. For me personally, the more information I have, the more in control of the situation i feel. While we don't plan to require our guests to be vaccinated we do plan on asking them about their vaccination status. We understand this is controversial however so is the decision to move forward with our wedding in the midst of a pandemic. I believe being fully transparent with our guests about the percentage of those vaccinated vs those not allows them to make an informed decision regarding their comfort in attending. It also provides us with information that will help us seat our guests in a way that minimizes risk.

Once you have your data, will you be forwarding that to all of your vendors and guests so that they too can make an informed, safe to decision to attend or work your wedding? If you or your guests do not comply, are you ok with your vendors pulling out last minute because of non compliance and their safety being at risk?

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"I feel like a couple hosting any wedding event should clearly indicate what their expectations are for guests. Guests can then either choose for themselves whether they would like to attend the event and abide by the hosts requests, or they can choose to decline the invitation if they feel the hosts requests are inappropriate or don't match their own ideology."

THIS!!!

I sent out an email saying we will be following whatever state and venue guidelines are at the time, and if people do not feel that they can follow those guidelines, they should decline their invitation.

I agree completely with Kari. The idea of "we're all adults, we can all make our own decisions" vastly underestimates the consequences of our actions, or lack thereof. Is it a little awkward to ask guests to send you proof of vaccination, or else respectively ask they do not attend? Yes. In non-COVID times, it would be unthinkable. But these are extraordinary times and weddings have been singled out as extremely high-risk events. Regardless of whether your guests ultimately do have the choice to attend or not, do you really want to potentially have someone get sick, or god forbid die, because of something as trivial as your wedding? We have an ethical responsibility to do everything in our power to keep our loved ones safe, and vaccines are by far the best way to do so.

With that in mind, we will be requiring proof of COVID-19 vaccination for all attendees (exception children) for our August wedding (fourth date, already had three postponements). So long as everyone is vaccinated, we will not be requiring a negative COVID test (though we may also ask guests to be at least cognizant of their movements in the days leading up to the wedding, to limit potential exposure). We're hoping that by August, the CDC will have come out with new guidelines saying that if everyone is vaccinated, masks aren't required. But ultimately, we will follow the CDC's guidelines when it comes to masks, social distancing, dancing, indoor/outdoor spaces, and number of guests allowed. COVID guidelines are inconvenient. They make pictures look bad, add stress, and change up our carefully thought out visions. But I'll take all of these in a heartbeat if it means no one gets sick from my wedding.

We are taking the chance and getting married still this May

My question still remains :
With the data you have collected, will you be forwarding that to your vendors and guests so they too can have the same peace of mind you are requiring?
If that information is forwarded to a third party, what verbiage do you have in place informing them that it is being shared and how will you document their approval? If your vendor, upon receiving test results, does not feel as though your guidelines have been met and will not proceed working your event, what stipulations do you have in place with them?
You are asking a lot from your guests and vendors. How are you following through with data collection, legal responsibilities of collecting and sharing personal information, and possible cancellation of contracts?

View Quoted Comment How are you handling the legal aspects of what you are requiring? You are collecting personal and medical information.
You say your guests must be vaccinated and you are requiring proof. How? Please outline those steps you will be taking to collect this personal and medical information, how it will used/shared, and then stored/destroyed.

My fiancé and I are both fully vaccinated, along with my entire family. We are planning on asking if you are not vaccinated you will be obligated to wear a mask when leaving your seating area. I think we are going to provide boxes of masks at the front entrance of venue. I also want to keep people in tables according their status, but then you run into the issue of asking people about their medical records. Haha

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Asking is one thing, demanding it and/or requiring proofs takes it to another level. Do the couples understand this?

View Quoted Comment I have found that they do not


The crazy thing is that the most vulnerable members of our society are also extremely vulnerable to the flu and we would never think to do this for the flu vaccine for winter weddings
Also people seem not to care that some people have a valid reason that prevents them from taking the vaccine

View Quoted Comment Feels like you’re trying to trip couples up with questions because you personally don’t agree, but never fear, I work in data privacy and will not be scared by your questions! If you’ve seen those COVID vaccine cards that everyone is posting on social media (which they shouldn’t, because it has PII on it...) then you’ll know that the only PII on there is their name and birth date (and technically the batch number, if you really want to get technical). You should know the name of anyone invited to your wedding, so that isn’t a concern. And when it comes to their birthdate/batch number, simply ask them to block it out if that’s a concern. If someone accidentally sends you their card without it blocked out, look at the image and then immediately delete it off your hard drive to remain compliant. It isn’t as hard as you make it sound.


That said, in my case our guest list is small enough that we likely won’t need to take this step - we trust everyone in our group and know them enough that taking this step isn’t necessary, they’ll tell us if they haven’t been vaccinated. But please stop trying to turn people off of something that is truly the safest way to have a wedding at this time. Is it weird and off putting to have to ask for something like this? Yes, I already said that. But COVID is dangerous, weddings are the most high risk, and we have a responsibility to make our guests health and well-being top priority if we’re going to ask them to attend something that has been establish as extremely high risk. This is the best way to do that. We have an ethical responsibility to do it.

My wedding is a year away so we have not made a final decision on this yet. My future MIL is in the high-risk category and so we are going to plan for a wedding that will allow for social distancing and will provide both disposable and cloth masks by the door with a sign requesting people mask up. By that point, a lot of the people invited will be eligible for the vaccine in Virginia and I know almost all will get it. Not planning on requiring proof of testing or vaccine at this point. If there is a major resurgence near when we get married, I will probably request testing from my guests but not require proof of vaccination. If someone wants to volunteer their proof of vaccination so they don't have to get tested then that would be fine by me.

View Quoted Comment I am glad you’re not scared. That wasn’t my intent.
I never said if I agree or disagree. I am not not trying to “trip up” anyone or “turn anyone off”.
What I AM expecting these couples to do is understand their demands and the process they need to implement. That has yet to be addressed until now.As you continue to mention, you “have an ethical responsibility”. You then also have a legal one. I appreciate your information provided and hope the other couples demanding info share with us how they plan on proceeding.

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Hi Emily!!

Thank you for sharing. I was wondering if you could share how you worded the request for your guests about the vaccine requirement since I'm having some trouble figuring out how to say it without being offensive. Any guidance would be appreciated!!

Thanks!

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We decided to go the route of vaccines for our wedding celebration. I emailed all of our guests with the following message (which is also on our wedding website):

In order to celebrate safely in the way we desire, we are requesting that all of our guests be vaccinated against Covid-19. We anticipate vaccines, as they become more readily available, may also become a requirement of our state or venue. With this in mind, please schedule your vaccinations as soon as you are able to do so.

We are having a smaller event so we know all of our guests well enough to have a good sense of how they feel about vaccinations. We are not demanding to see vaccination cards but rather relying on trusting our friends to be vaccinated if they say they are, and when guests RSVP they will be asked meal choice as well as to confirm that they will be vaccinated by the time of our event. We have confirmed that 60% of our guests are either already vaccinated or on track to be fully vaccinated before our celebration (78% of our guests should fall into this category, we just haven't confirmed the status everyone yet), and more will become eligible to register for vaccinations within the coming weeks.

View Quoted Comment I 💯 agree.

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Totally agree with Shelly!

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I know it's been a few days since this was posted, but I have been doing so much research on the subject and only today found these forums (I haven't been using wedding wire since we found our vendors last summer). Today I ran across a wonderful wedding article from a coordinator who explicitly lays it all out for those interested (linked here ). It took the guilt away that I'd been feeling since making this decision (there's some immediate family who won't be coming because of this), but reminded me that if I will be having my wedding any time in the near future (until who knows) that this is the only way my partner and I would be comfortable doing it. So my rough draft of what to include in our invitations is as follows:

"COVID UPDATE: We have been closely monitoring COVID-19 throughout the year. After all we have witnessed in the past year, we have placed the utmost importance on the health and wellbeing of our family and friends. After much deliberation, we have decided to ask all guests and vendors who are attending our wedding in-person to be vaccinated prior to attending the wedding. We understand that not all our guests are able or want to be vaccinated, and we completely understand. We will be live-streaming our ceremony for those who do not feel comfortable getting the vaccine.

For those who’ve fully vaccinated (one is considered fully vaccinated 14 days from the last injection), we hope that you will still feel comfortable enough to join us in person. We will continue to maintain additional health and safety measures and may still request our vaccinated travelers have a negative test within the week before the wedding.

Please keep a lookout on the website for Zoom details to be added no later than Oct 1, 2021, for your convenience. We appreciate everyone’s understanding and support.

Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions you may have. If you’re undecided or wish for more information, we will happily provide science-based facts for each vaccine and would be happy to help arrange your vaccine if you would like some help.

It is much easier to feel joy when we feel safe. For this reason we choose to prioritize health and safety."

the last two sentences are my wedding day mantra now. While I knew that for us it was the right decision, I still struggled with others making me feel badly for making it. I'm not singling anyone out, I'm not ostracizing anyone. This is the only way we will feel safe enough to freely express our joy on that day.

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This is great! Thank you for sharing.