Crazy stocker ex girlfriend

Mna: I honestly don't think she means to indicate a lack of intellegence by pointing out that the ex has Aspergers, only that it MIGHT be contributing to why she is doing what she is doing (like you said, it's a social disorder, and this is a social situation). She used what we've all now learned is not a correct way to refer to people with Aspergers, but cussing her out doesn't really drive your point home.

I think the clear up the Asperger's debate I think that could be cleared up with some research on the topic. Anyhow, are you sure about this whole situation about taking pictures? Is there a chance that maybe someone is pulling your leg and telling you stories to freak you out? If you have proof that yes I would definitely speak to the police about your options if you don't have

proof that she's

doing this, I

personally be

surprised if the

police will take it

seriously and

anything other

than a rumor that's

been said to you. But either way, if your groom and you do not want this woman contacting you or around you, I would explore your options as to what you can do to make sure this happens.

Km: Really, I didn't cuss her out. At no point did I call her any type of swear word. I punctuated a couple of statements with words, because it is ignorance like this that makes my blood boil. I imagine if you were in my shoes and saw someone using a disorder that you dealt with each and every day of your life as a reason for calling someone "mentally handicapped" or ANY variation thereof, you'd probably get pretty ticked off too.

ETA: I'd like to add that, as I said before, it is statements like hers about how this "crazy stalker" who must be doing it because she has Asperger's, therefore this is obviously behavior normal to Asperger's, creates the stigma around autism and individuals formerly diagnosed with Asperger's. The psychological community rolled Asperger's into the autism diagnosis in the DSM-V partly to help remove the stigma from autism, BECAUSE aspies were typically very normal seeming to neurotypical individuals. Garbage like this just means that people like me have to continue to HIDE our issues (creating even more social awkwardness for us) out of fear of being assumed to be one step away from attacking others violently or any other number of very unlikely events.

OR you can fast track this by just walking into the court house and file a protective order tomorrow. A temporary will be given to you for 7 days. She will be served and required to show up in a week (unless you/she reschedules). You both show up for the final hearing, she either decides to stay away from you guys without a finding or she can ask for a hearing and the judge will look at the evidence and grant you a final protective order. Go back and document everything and go to the courthouse tomorrow.

Sorry, I consider it "cussing someone out" when cuss words are used frequently in a statement, whether or not a name is actually being called. I get that it's hard to separate what she's saying from what you're feeling when it's you're dealing with it firsthand, but as someone on the outside who doesn't have Aspergers, I don't see her statements as being purposefully insulting, but just a further explanation of the situation. Sorry you feel that way.

KM: what she said/implied with her statement would be me saying the following:

Oh yeah, my ex liked to abuse me because he was neurotypical, and he was a guy. That's what they do.

^^^. If that statement would offend you and make you want to defend your FH, dad, brother, whoever, then that's how her statement came across to me.

First things first: document and print out everything. EVERYTHING. Make a copy. Make a list of all the days/times she showed up at FH's work, every time she called, ect. This is first and foremost before going to the police. Step 2: GO TO THE POLICE

So you fully believe that the social disorder of Aspergers has nothing to do with the way she's acting. Even without knowing what she was/wasn't taught?

KM: I didn't get diagnosed until about 5 years ago, and it was because I brought it up to my therapist I was seeing.

By the time you reach adulthood, you have a general idea of what is and isn't generally socially acceptable. Most aspies learn to mirror other people, their actions, expressions, tone of voice. The ONLY way o could see this girl continuing is if the guy tried to just fade out or didn't blatantly tell her they were over. If he used some crap line like they were taking a break, or that maybe in the future that some guys feed women, it's possible, BUT the engagement would more than likely have destroyed that.

IF however, he used the old "let's stay friends" line, she may be trying to do just that and not realize that she's unwanted because he hasn't told her that it was a lie.

Friends are extremely hard to make for any aspie. We value greatly the people in our lives and hold on to them. We don't get the little subtle hints like you do, you have to blatantly tell us. My guess is he didn't, and she's just trying to continue a friendship, OR there are other mental issues present that haven't been addressed. Either way, her FH needs to flat out tell the girl to leave him alone from here on out, and go from there.

That's good advice! See I didn't know that (obviously I wasn't paying that much attention in class that day lol), and maybe OP or her FH don't either. Hopefully she reads your response and keeps it in mind.

KM: it took DF over 6 months of pursuing me, flirting, and he even blatantly told me he was hitting on me, and I didn't get the clue. It wasn't until he texted me saying he had wanted to kiss me when he's seen me earlier that day that I realized it wasn't friendly banter. Subtlety doesn't work for anyone with Asperger's, at all.

Have security ready and get a restrain order in pl@ce

Aspergers means not neurotypical. Not any of these bs PC terms PP have mentioned are correct. It is not an intellectual disability.

Also get a restraining order and get out of middle school.

I second a bouncer at your wedding. You don't want to even have to think about her that day.

Definitely agree, @Nikki.

Thanks you @mna for sharing your story and what you go through--I mean that very sincerely--you helped educate me on Aspergers too.

I believe the term is "differently abled"

Restraining order for all of them. She sounds like a stalker and what type of friends part take in shit like that.

@mna I apologize, I didn't mean to offend you. I know that Aspergers is purely a social issue and in no way means that someone is less intelligent. I definitely appreciate your point of view. OP could have just said this girl had Aspergers, but I also agree that probably doesn't have anything to do with the stalking. Regardless, she needs to tell FH to just get a restraining order if this girl is that disruptive to their lives.

I'm still cringing at Aspergers being called a mental handicap.

Asperger's isn't a handicap. That's actually quite insulting to people who do have it, such as myself. Thank you so much for that.

As others have said, this isn't a question for us. If she's not going away, you should file a restraining order against her.