Cultural Question: Does Anyone Feel Lonely After the Wedding?

My FH and I are already living together but in a rental. I went from the house I was living in throughout college (with three other girl roommates) to his apartment right off the bat. I completely get this feeling. I felt very in the way at his apartment because it was like he had already made it "his" before I moved in. He of course made room for me but it never felt like "our" space. We moved into a rental house a few months later and it definitely feels more like home. Just give it some time. You'll put your personal touches on the place soon

I lived with my husband before we got married but all the same feelings that you described still applied. We worked opposite schedules and the place didn’t quite feel like home. Don’t expect it to feel homey right away. It takes time. Try to keep yourself busy with cleaning, arranging, decorating when he’s at work or take that time to visit your family home. Try to stay away from your old room because it might make you nostalgic. Instead use the time to catch up with your family and maybe throw in a load of laundry in the meantime. I don’t recommend doing this but I got so homesick that my hubby (bf at the time) adopted 2 pets to actually make me want to stay in our new place together because I was constantly feeling down and I wanted to go back to my parents’. PS I had never lived on my own before moving in with him.

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This is my first time living on my own as well (apart from living in a suite in college, and in a small apartment during a summer internship). Whenever he's home, and we are doing stuff together, it feels great, but this is the first time I've ever really been alone in a house--usually my parents or the dog were there.

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I was supposed to move in with him in February, but my parents insisted that I stay at home until I was married. Right now, the place still feels like a bachelor pad--I find myself groaning at all the mismatched dishes (jelly glasses? Really??) and randomly swiped hotel towels in the closet.

View Quoted Comment I hear ya! You'll start to accumulate joint things and slowly throw out his mismatched stuff (sometimes secretly) and then it will feel more like home. I get the being alone thing. My FH is a firefighter so he is gone for days at a time. Living in a new city where I don't know anyone has been tough. Hang in there. You'll settle in

It’ll get easier with time!

I didn't move in full time until maybe a month before we got married but prior to that I was there half the week. I feel ya. We live with my in laws currently and it's never felt like home to me because it's not my home so I can't move things and do things to my liking ! And when I go to my parents house they totally rearranged everything and so it's not really my room anymore either. We did recently purchase a home so im super eager to move in and make it all my own.

View Quoted Comment So glad to know I’m not the only one in this situation.

My culture didn’t have me living at home till marriage. My religion did. However, we did decide to move in together before marriage and got engaged 4 months after living together. It’s a transition. This was my first time living without family. I moved 8 minutes away from my mom. My mom just moved two months ago to another township that’s about 45 minutes away from me. A month into living together - FH went on a cruise and left me at home, alone for a whole week. It was an adjustment. But, I learned to embrace my independence and ability to not need anyone’s company to enjoy my home and my new-found identity. Each day, I strive to make my home more of a home. I try and spend as much time as I can, when I can with FH. I call and FT my mom a minimum of 5 times a day lol. A minimum. I’m taking this time to learn to cook new meals, learn my cleaning style and habits, try new things. You’re offered a freedom and a chance to create this new, “adult” you. It can get lonely at times whether you lived together before or after the marriage. Culture and religion doesn’t have anything to do with it. New experiences can create an isolation and anxiety if you don’t take it head on. You can also lose a prime opportunity to create a new life for yourself if you’re trying to bring your old life into your new life. Moving out, I had to learn that I have my own household now so, I spent a lot of time telling my mom “no” even when I wanted to say “yes.” It doesn’t mean I loved my mom any less. It just meant that I had to really accept that I had my own household to run and now had to create some boundaries. So, create those boundaries between your old and new self. Find ways to embrace solitude when you’re home alone. Design the life you want to live and make it happen. Wish you the best!