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Dedicated May 2021

Cutting our guest list

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Cynthia, on January 12, 2021 at 9:05 PM

So I have resumed wedding planning, my mom was in the hospital with covid, She is now home with an oxygen tank slowly recovering. Anyways as my mom got extremely ill it has put a new fear of covid in me. My fiance and I decided to cut our guest list. Only issue is I have a big family and we are all close. I'm having trouble deciding who to cut. How did.others go about this? Our original wedding had 200 guests down to 100 now down to 40. Also I have some cousins I'm close too (like text every day) and they are not taking this pandemic seriously. I feel guilty for cutting them and I'm not sure how they will handle it. BUT I don't want to bring them around my in laws knowing how careless they are because the in laws are older. I also don't want to postpone again. I just want to marry my fiance. We've been planning since September 2019. I also could just do immediate family but it sounds silly to me to spend over 10k for a dinner for 20 people.?

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31 Comments

Dedicated July 2022
Tyff · on July 31, 2021 at 3:20 PM
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Nah I would be happy to be invited no matter when.. I’ve accepted- come to the dancing part of the reception invites and not really stopped to cry about what order I was on the invite list- the day is about bride and groom not my ego. Now if the guest needs to get to the wedding or pay for hotels during expensive part of the year then maybe I would hesitate to invite but if I want to have them come they are on the list… regardless of I could invite them first or because someone couldn’t come. Nbd.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on July 31, 2021 at 4:10 PM
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You make your guest list based on your budget long before you book your venue. If you want to invite everyone, have cake and lemonade at the park. People would prefer to get an announcement than to be your 4th choice guest who doesn’t get an invite until a couple days before the wedding.
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Dedicated July 2022
Tyff · on July 31, 2021 at 4:51 PM
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Who would do a couple of days before the wedding? Now that would be rude… but if you know you want to invite people you could t invite on first go around then you plan accordingly- you act like people have endless $$$ - I don’t know what kind of friends you have but mine are cognizant of reality and aren’t so narcissist they couldn’t handle not being on the core list.
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Dedicated July 2022
Tyff · on July 31, 2021 at 4:54 PM
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This right here- people who care about you are understanding of the limitations of budgets and guest lists…
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on July 31, 2021 at 5:02 PM
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It has nothing to do with having tons of money which many people don’t have. It’s about politeness and courtesy. Also prioritizing a smaller group of people whom you are very close to rather than a large list of obligatory invites for those you are not close to.
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Dedicated July 2022
Tyff · on July 31, 2021 at 5:13 PM
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We will have to agree to disagree- my friends aren’t so uptight and will love me regardless of when they are invited ❤️ Some will even be cool showing up for the reception only…
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on July 31, 2021 at 5:18 PM
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That's you though. That may not be true of other people.
The day stops being solely about the wedding couple as soon as they involve other people. Once that happens, their feelings and needs but be considered.
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Dedicated July 2022
Tyff · on July 31, 2021 at 6:12 PM
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As I said to the other gal - we will have to agree to disagree- I know my friends and luckily I don’t surround myself with people as you are describing- they are happy for our day and being part of it is what matters not when or how they are there. Life is too short to be insulted by such small issues.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on August 1, 2021 at 2:20 AM
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Those aren't small issues to most. It's clear you resurrected a dead thread to somehow get validation (?) for your choices. I'm saying it's rude. There's literally nothing more to say;
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Dedicated July 2022
Tyff · on August 1, 2021 at 2:52 AM
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Nah- just a little scared this offends you so much. Aren’t you already married? These forums are searchable and they don’t clean them up so old threads show up in results. I don’t need anyone to validate my views as I know my friends- just here looking for tips on cutting down guest lists. Ps when someone says agree to disagree you aren’t really supposed to keep going.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on August 1, 2021 at 3:11 AM
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Ok so cutting down guest list. Have a primo list of people you really want there. If the cool people can't make it, then invite the less cool. If they can't make it invite the dregs so you don't take a loss on catering but still get a present. None of these people will notice and everything will be fine.
So tips for cutting down guest lists is to not offend your nearest and dearest. Except for the advice I just gave.
I'm not offended. I'm trying to keep you from offending others.
"Agree to disagree" is not a muzzle. You don't get to tell me how to post here.
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