Dad thinks I’m spending too much on a wedding

Unfortunately, money from relatives often has strings attached. If you want your wedding exactly how you'd like, you need to revoke any financial help and pay for everything yourself. No pay = no say. It might sound harsh, but it's true. Wishing you the best!

If your family wants to help pay, that's perfectly fine. Whatever amount they're comfortable contributing is what they need to give you but how you spend it in planning the wedding shouldn't be their concern. If they have a flat amount they want to contribute, why do they care how you spend it if you're going to have it either way? My parents told FH and I how much they'd contribute and they said we could take the whole lump sump and elope and use it how we wanted or we could use it to pay for as much of our wedding as it could, the budget is entirely up to us. Either they want to help or they don't, I wouldn't take the money if they're just going to nit pick at how you spend it.

Do you have the whole wedding budgeted & planned out? That doesn't seem like too much for a venue, if you can still afford proper catering, officiant, DJ, bar, dessert, photographer, dress, etc.

Find him options you could have picked that are way more than the one you did pick.. maybe then he will realize that you're budgeting while still getting what you want

It depends on your location. Our Venue was 1800 for 10 hours, tables, chairs and an event DOC. That's EXTREMELY low for our area. Most are about 4500 plus. My dad is the same way about our wedding, and we're paying! lol. I think it's a dad thing, but it get really frustrating for sure.

Have they given you a dollar amount? Or just said they would cover this, this and this? Idk your area but $3900 isn't too terribly priced. If they said they would contribute xx amount then they can express opinions but don't have total say. If they Expressed they will cover certain aspects (I.e. my parents said they would cover the venue) then he absolutely has a say. My venue was $3200 for a Sunday wedding and this included table, chairs, linens and a lot of decorations. We picked out venue with full intentions of us paying for it. After visiting we went to my parents house just to show them and they asked how much it was and I told them, they opted to cover that expense with no strings attached. You are very fortunate that you guys will have to cover very little so I wouldn't take it for granted and I would hear your father out THEN express to him why this is your dream venue and lay out how it works out to be the same price.