Dates not comfirmed!

That sounds so amazing!!! I also have a venue with very…let’s call them special…rules (Disney), and one of the biggest things for FH and I that seems to be different than the norm is that we have had extensively more communication with our guests about the logistics. This has been especially true for our immediate families and VIPs. We were checking in with them and floating ideas to people before we were even able to book. I would let your VIPs know which dates you’re requesting, and hopefully that smaller group of guests will be able to keep their schedules open. For the other guests, since they’re mostly local, you should be fine to wait until you have confirmed dates to let them know. People don’t have to plan as far in advance for local weddings. If you want to casually spread the word, like around the water cooler to coworkers you’re inviting, etc, you can do that without officially announcing anything since it might change. If you’re inviting anyone out of town, knowing three possible dates doesn’t help anyway since they can’t make travel arrangements until they know what they’re booking. I would let any out of town guests know as soon as you know the dates, even if it’s an informal text, so they can start making arrangements.

Because save the dates go out at 6 months, and 5 is close enough, start calling family and friends as soon as the date is confirmed. They reach out to those who are more distant who you don’t have contact information for. Do not send anything before then because it creates more confusion than it resolves.

I think you'd be fine to wait to send save-the-dates until ~5 months when you have an actual date confirmed In the meantime, you could design them online and just put a placeholder where you'd have the date. That way, once you get confirmation on your date, you'll just pop that in and they'll be ready to order.

I'd just call and text as soon as you know your dates. You don't have to mail out formal STD's anyway. I wouldn't do the three dates, because that could get confusing.

If I were you I might do a Save The Date for "September 2024" so at least people have a rough idea of when it'll be and then the exact date could be when you find out via word of mouth/invitations.