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Brittney
Expert June 2018

Day-of-coordinator asked if i needed her to stay until the end of the reception . . .

Brittney, on April 25, 2018 at 10:42 AM

Posted in Planning 37

So my wedding is 58 days away and yesterday I had a call with my DOC. We briefly went over the timeline and discussed the specific items that I would need her and her assistant to handle. Toward the end of the conversation she asked me if I needed her to stay at the reception until the end. I was...

So my wedding is 58 days away and yesterday I had a call with my DOC. We briefly went over the timeline and discussed the specific items that I would need her and her assistant to handle. Toward the end of the conversation she asked me if I needed her to stay at the reception until the end. I was kind of thrown by her question because I just assumed she would stay since I was paying her to. Her reasoning was because after the cake cutting, there really isn't much left for her to do because the DJ will take over and do his job. She's not giving me a discount if she leaves early. I just found the question to be weird. I mentioned the conversation to FH and he was pretty annoyed. He basically said its like her asking if she could do less of her job and still get paid the same. Has anyone else encountered this? For those of you already married, did your DOC stay until the end?

37 Comments

  • L
    Devoted July 2019
    Lexi ·
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    That would annoy me. I understand she honestly wants to know how long she should stay but that seems kind of rude/classless asking if she has to stay the whole time, especially if you're paying her for the whole time! If she cleaning up at the end or is that not in your contract?

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    No, a DOC's job does not begin when the cake is cut lol. As I said in my previous comment, I'm a wedding singer, and I have over a decade's time of experience in this area. Timelines basically end after the cake has cut, because that's the end of the formalities. There is no timeline to follow after that. The band or DJ will handle everything from there, which is just dancing, and then saying goodnight when the reception is over.

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  • Preslee
    Expert May 2019
    Preslee ·
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    As I said in my previous comment, I'm a DAY OF COORDINATOR Smiley winking I would never leave early nor would I ever hire a DOC that left early. I've been a wedding planner for years...that's my profession. They shouldn't leave.

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  • BrandiWeds18
    VIP May 2019
    BrandiWeds18 ·
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    Some coordinators list that they are the first ones there and last ones to leave to pack your things and make sure everything is handled. Other's don't. When we interviewed i asked them how many hours were they going to be there for since i noticed some coordinators said "all day" and others didn't specify. Most of the people i requested information from did stay the entire night.

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  • MrsRies&Love
    VIP May 2018
    MrsRies&Love ·
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    Hmm..a lot of the items on the tables (charger, votive holders, candles) are being provided by our DOC, so if she were to leave after cake cutting, I would be concerned with how she would get these items. Our DOC is amazing and will be bringing all of our stuff back to our house after she's done with breakdown at 11:30pm.

    Is your DOC providing anything, or does she have any duties toward the end of the night? (clean up/break down/handing out tips to vendors?). If you don't need her at the end of the night, then I think she would be ok to leave early, but if not I don't think she needs to stay. She's coordinated the day!

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Disagree. There's nothing to coordinate after that point.

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  • K
    Dedicated July 2018
    Karen ·
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    All DOC I’ve contacted say they stay til clean up. If she isn’t monitoring clean up to make sure you get your money back and won’t give you a discount for leaving early, I would have her stay the whole time. If she isn’t willing to give you a discount prorated to time, that’s just grossly inappropriate.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    Huh, I'm a DOC and stay until the end. But I see a lot of historic venues and we make sure the vendors load out and that the couple gets their security deposit back. I usually make it home between 1am-2am. My contract is 8hrs, and most couples extend. Plus I don't want my name out there as the lady who let things go crazy because she left, weddings are a really small circle in DC and I don't want myself banned from places. I have called the cops, ambulance, got mops for vomit, everything, usually after cake this stuff goes down!

    I also usually eat after cake, manage band, photographer, videographer, and dj breaks, that sort of thing. Tip out, all the stuff others have listed! There may not be much to coordinate but it is nice to know someone there is sober and has your back.

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  • Brittney
    Expert June 2018
    Brittney ·
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    Our contract has her present for the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony, and the reception. The contract states the end time of her services are midnight.

    She told me that she doesn't mind staying until the end of the reception because some brides prefer that. She was asking me what I prefer. I get that it'd make sense for her to be there in case an emergency comes up, hand out tips, gather gifts and things that need to be taken back to the hotel room. She stated she'd do all of that.

    She mentioned she didn't want to just "hover" if there wasn't much for her to do.

    Everyone's opinions are interesting.

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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    Mine is staying through breakdown. It would be kind of odd for a DOC to leave early IMO.

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  • Rachel
    VIP September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    It depends on her duties. Is overseeing clean up one of your DOC's responsibilities? If so, she can't leave early. If that's something that your venue is dealing with separately or that wasn't in your contract, I would say that yes she can leave after the cake cutting.

    I just read your last post. It sounds like she still has duties through the end of the evening. I guess if she was asking for preference it's fine.

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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    Both my daughters have Coordinators in their venue packages and will of course be staying until the very end. I would expect the same from an independent contractor DOC. Seems strange to me that she would expect to leave after cake cutting. What if any problems arise after the formalities? Power goes out, issues with the DJ or band, moving gifts and card box, sink overflows in the bathroom, cleaning up, etc. Her job definitely doesn't end with the cake!

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  • Brittney
    Expert June 2018
    Brittney ·
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    Maybe it makes a difference that we are having our reception at a restaurant. We reserved a large banquet room that's in the restaurant where they host corporate meetings and stuff. We will have a full reception though, open bar, food, dj, etc. Theoretically if there is a spill of some sort, I'd imagine the restaurant would take care of it.

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  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
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    Disagree. There is cleanup for one. Which she can't coordinate if she isn't there. There is issues that may arise, which she can't handle if she isn't there. There is still the send off to coordinate, and that is a part of the timeline that happens after cake cutting. It is also something my band or dj can't (and won't be) handle(ing) because they should be doing their job of providing music, not handing out what needs to be handed out for send off. They will make the announcement after my DOC has coordinated the event with the guests. There is still a ton the coordinator for the day of my wedding needs to do after cale cutting because the day of my wedding doesn't end at cake cutting.
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  • Xandria
    VIP December 2018
    Xandria ·
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    Your DOC would be the person in charge of spotting the spill & alerting the restaurant. The idea behind the DOC being that handle all the things you would normally handle if you were hosting a party & it weren't your wedding.

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    1. Not everyone does a sendoff, I've literally seen ONE in the hundreds of weddings I've played.

    2. Not everyone uses their DOC for cleanup.

    OP made no mention of needing the DOC for either.

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  • M
    Michelle ·
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    Good question. Smiley heart Yes, the Day of Coordinator needs to stay until the very end of the event. One of the most important duties is to "put out fires." (Which I have literally had to do after a guest accidentally tossed a napkin on a lit votive candle as she ran to the dance floor, setting the table on fire.) As it gets late, understandably, problems pop up due to intoxication. Plus, someone needs to be sure gifts are secure and packed up, flower arrangements are given away or donated, any bills are paid, transportation shows up, people get home safely, etc. The bride and groom, and their families, shouldn't have to want to worry about all of that. The Day of Coordinator should be the last person to leave, other than the venue staff.

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