Deadbeat Dads...What to do?

I dont expect anyone to do anything for me b/c I been taking care of myself and family for a LONG time, it would be a nice gesture but i didnt really expect anything

I think im more stomped with how to deal with our relationship and this wedding more than not getting any financial support b/c im the finacial support for everyone else

I know its difficult, just try to hang in there! You are not alone with the dad issues either. Mine walked out when I turned 18 and haven't seen him since. He emails me at his convenience which is about once a year maybe and have talked on the phone once in almost 8 years. For obvious reasons he won't be invited to the wedding. I was a daddys girl when I was little, not spoiled but I really loved my dad a lot. He did a lot of bad things go before and after he left. It is very hurtful when parents act this way.. I was furious at him at first but eventually was willing to try and make some kind of relationship (that was the phone call!) but he hurts me every time I have made an attempt. For my own well being I just had to let it go. He made his choice very clear so I had to make mine. Honestly I just tried to make peace with the fact that the dad I knew when I was little does not exist anymore. The person he is now is NOT my dad.

ALright, I have the same problem. My dad hasnt even called to give me congrats yet, been engaged for a month now. I decided years ago, that my dad unless he changed and became a part of my life would not be involved on my wedding. I love him but I am not allowing him to hurt me anymore. I havent decided yet, but right now either my Uncle Bill(only child has autism and a boy) will walk me since he wont ever have that chance or My mom(my bff) will walk me. I dont want my wedding to be something that brings back memories of my dad saying crap or me or my man, or family being uncomfortable that day.

I think you have to think about it has this problem been here a long time, have you talked to him about, is he there for you when you need him, and you have to think about how u will feel if he isnt there. Way the pro's and con's and then talk to him...Maybe counceling if he would do it. But dont lay the happiness of your wedding on someone who may or may not come through for you.

In response to your second post- I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of ruining my day. Thats my opinion anyways.

Oh yeah, I am making the dad/daughter dance a MOM dance. I am gonna dance with my wonderful but a little crazy mom and sweetie is gonna dance with his mom. I thought that would show our family who we feel has always been there for us and also make it so I dont feel let down because of missing the dad/daughter dance...

Dawn, that is an great Idea and that is what I am doing too.. Mom and Kid dance instead of the Mother and Son, Father and daughter dance.

Thanks for the feedback. My dilenma is that i really dont know what to do.Its like i wont be that happy with him not there but im not happy if he is...I like Im going to give him a come if you like invite. Let him know that i will escort myself or have an escort and if he cares enough to come without being in the spotlight then sure...

IDK im going to pray about it and hope it becomes less of a issue or stress....

Dene honey...I've had to make a very hard decision as well on the same level. However, there comes a time in your life that you have to decide what is "BEST" for "YOU". My personal choice was to just to be done with it. It is a decision only you can make. Because this is my second wedding I've decided to have my son give me away. I hope you make the right decision and it is based on what's best for you and NO ONE else. It can be extremely rewarding when you feel the freedom of letting go. You have two choices...1..Love him the way he is or....2...Let him the hell alone?

I wish you luck and the best!

My mom is usually the one that can say the wrong wrong thing every time. We don't have a great relationship but after going through therapy for a very long time, I've realized she is the way she is because of what was done to her as a child. She does not have good social skills but for me, I know I would feel guilty knowing the bigger picture. My solution is to have a close friend sit with her, and stick close by her until she leaves to keep her busy and out the way. Just make sure you base your decision on what YOU want and feel, so that you don't have regrets later.