Dear Bride....A letter from a Photographer

It really depends on the situation. If your friend is a professional photographer then I would say go with your friend who is the professional photographer. I would do it if it it is their expertise. I had my friend do my engagement photos and me and my FH talked about making him a back up just in case our professional doesn't show up because the pictures came out so gorgeous. I mean it does vary by who you use, but I believe if your friend is a professional, then go for it. If not, I would leave it be.

And all the bells and whistles are extra. To me he most important thing is having a good time and celebrating with my family. Making memories for my guests as well. I have a huge family and will have about 200 guests I will not cut my guest list to afford other things. I have also come across some vendors who treat this likes business they take your money and don't respond or they hear that you have a smaller budget and they run. So I agree with both sides but can any of the professionals understand what it is like to be a bride have all these images of perfection and pressure and know that you will never be able to afford it? So you are left struggling to find other options and you cross your fingers and hope for the best.

This is a wedding I shot 2 weeks ago. You can't tell me that a "friend" could have done this. this is a culmination of my years working. This isn't just a happy mistake.

Brian your work is beautiful and worth every penny you get... if not more

I realize Kristen is gone from this thread but in case she comes back-

I get what you are saying, but it sounds like you live in a great area where while the average worker doesnt make much, the cost of living is also really low-heck, i think many of us would love to have a mortgage like yours!

Therefore though, if you consider that a mortgage on a house such as yours is $750 in your area...in Brians area, a mortgage on the same house would probably easily be several thousand (lets just say $3000). so...your looking at a an area that has roughly 5x the cost of living. WHich means....your $2000 wedding in your area of the country is actually a $10,000 wedding in other parts of the country (and I would grant probably higher)

This issue has always been a conflict. It is unfair in a way to professional videographers and photographers to use a friend because these skills have been acquired through training, experience and an sensibility and sensitivity for the art form of capturing a wedding or any family event. Sure, you can get an amateur to do it and it will probably be okay. If that's all you can afford, then there is no choice in the matter.

But it's like going to the dentist. You want someone who can do the job right with no worries. And just as a dentist is certified and educated, so is the photographer. He or she deserves to be hired for a job to get you the best photos possible and can troubleshoot any situation (bad lighting, weather conditions, etc).

So people will agree to disagree. No one is particularly more right then the other person. As an event planner, I always recommend professionals as much as possible for any event, but that's not alway possible.

@Kristen

For photographers cost of living may be a factor but it isn't the only factor used when someone determines how much to charge. I don't think its fair of you to imply that people should only be making enough to get by? 50.00 an hour goes towards a lot more then just living expenses, it goes towards the business, equipment, etc. Plus photographers don't have events every day of the week. I don't think its fair to say that what they charge isn't fair. Why shouldn't they make a profit? They're running a business!

I'm also pretty offended that you imply that spending a large amount on a wedding is "ridiculous"! My fiance and I have a combined income not much higher then yours and we spent time saving and cutting back to afford the wedding we want. It was important to us. If this kind of thing isn't important to you then I don't understand what your argument is because this letter is clearly directed towards someone who cares about the photos from their wedding day.

@ JulyBride - I surely remember that one, I have it bookmarked (on my work computer) right next to the crazy Craigslist stalker thread from here. I sell a lot of stuff on Craigslist, I'll you what, there are some real whackos on there. Based on the user base of Craigslist people, that alone is another reason to be careful. Not to mention the flakes who just don't even bother showing up, after all, what is the repercussion if you're not a legit business, no one can track you down. Even if they're shooting for free, you're counting on them, and they don't show....

Following on what Kathy and Brian N both said, we're not working a wedding every weekend. I *enjoy* shooting weddings, I want it to stay that way. I aim to shoot one a month, partially due to all of my other obligations, I don't want to burn out on anything. Some places will charge $995 for a shoot and book 2 weddings a weekend to cover costs. I'd be inclined to say that they'd shoot & burn, little to no post processing.

@bluedaisy what she was saying was that in an area like hers why are the rates so high if the photographers don't need to charge so much to live? Everyone kept justifying their rates but not the rates for her area which she was concerned about. I have chosen te DIY/ friends and family route in a lot of areas to cut cost with my wedding. I live in an area where the average cost is about 30,000. I have a third of that and I very big guest list. I got criticized for the catering route I chose, the way I chose to do my florals and the list goes on. At one point I decided to maybe seek out the help of a planner at least for Day of and she made me feel so small that I cried so hard after our talk and wanted to give up planning. So I understand where some of the brides are coming from it's hurtful feeling like you don't matter because you can't afford things or if you chose to DIY your wedding will end in disaster. July isn't the only bride that used an amateur with satisfactory results.

To Chuwana L., yes, all vendors treat this like a business.

The good ones, anyway.

It is a business. We are all here to earn a living. We are not here to be your best friend, or hold your hand, or cry with your over some drama you are having with your bridesmaids/mother in law/fiance.

Having said that, I usually do become friends with my couples, as I'm sure many other vendors do. We are there to participate in a life changing event! Everyone gets emotional.

But if you have 200 guests and that's your priority, that's your priority.

Don't be complaining that you can't afford everything that you see on T.V.

You have made your decision, and that's fine.

I am not complaining I am trying to make my vision work under my circumstances but what I am saying is that I keep encountering people that make me feel bad for doing so and that my wedding is a disaster waiting to happen because I am doing things myself. I understand this is a business and people make their living doing this but if I can't afford you don't make me feel like there is no other recourse and that my wedding will turn out badly. I'm not talking about these vendors here but I have some pretty hurtful things said to me like I said before after speaking to a particular planner I didn't even want to plan my wedding anymore. As a professional if someone can't afford you and they go another route than so be it because there are tons of people that can afford you but no one should tell someone else what's important to them or that they replan their entire wedding as was the case with me, but I do appreciate the photogs here because I passed on signing a contract with an amateur

@Barnett by that I mean to you this is business to my special day so when I pay and sign a contract I expect some type of respect and follow through. Some vendors are huge flakes. I spoke to one company their portfolio was nice their price was great I was ready to book until I spoke to the photog on the phone he was rude cold and impersonable. I also had people not give me prices over the phone so when I try to set up a meeting don't respond because they know I'm on a budget. So I am a lil bitter about some vendors but I have met some great ones and I have booked them.

This is one of those, "to each it's own" situations. I don't think anyone has the right to get upset with a friend or family member for not taking "good" pictures. The vast majority of the time, you get what you pay for, or what you don't.

I've seen women on this forum completely dissatisfied with their professional as well. Although the risk of disappointment is higher when a professional isn't used, a risk lies in either decision that is made.

For me, my uncle was my first thought. He is by no means a professional, but he has an eye that is very decent for an amateur. My favorite shot he took at my wedding was the one of my baby girl crying, and me hugging her after the ceremony. To me that was priceless, and something a pro definitely would have captured. His eye was seriously on point the day of my wedding. His best work yet.

Shoot, photography is 20% of my budget because I knew that all I'd be left with is the photography. We cut where we could and even extended our engagement so we could have the wedding we wanted.

I just wanted to say that it is posts like these that have helped to make me think through my decisions and choices in vendors. I feel bad that the photographers have taken so much heat in the thread. This was meant to be educational/informative, and I don't understand why people are getting so bent out of shape. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it so move on.

That said, I think this post was meant for someone like FH and I. We are fortunate enough to be in a position where are budget was set based on how much we wanted to spend as opposed to what we could afford, but we are cheap @$$es. We were originally going to use a friend of a friend for our wedding photography. She has taken our family pics for years and they are wonderful, and she is at least 1/3rd of the cost of wedding photographers in our area. After reading a post very similar to this, I started to take a second look at things. contd.

OHHH my!!! I have wanted to say that a million times by now. But why waste your breath or your time. I want a bride that is excited to have me as their photographer. I don't want to get a customer because I wrote that e-mail. Even though I feel that way when brides can't afford me-its not worth my time or sounding rude.

Don't they understand when you told them you were choosing a friend you were aware you weren't using a professional, way to dog your friend out and look like an ass in the process. Even if you were to reconsider I wouldn't consider going back to them. Well if you could I would appreciate you letting me know who it was so I don't use them when it is time to look for my future photographer. There are just certain people I don't want around me at my wedding and someone with a personality like that would be sent on their way real quick and leave me smiling happily with my flash disposable.

I really looked at her wedding portfolio, and realized that her photos, while not bad, would not at all meet my expectations. I showed FH her portfolio, and compared it to some other wedding photographers in our area. FH agreed that her work was missing a lot of the emotion was being captured by the more experienced photographers. We realized that you really do get what you pay for.

Even though for the most part you have been slammed in this thread, I wanted to let all you WW photographers know that this type of post is benefical. Thanks for helping FH and I make a more informed decision and saving us from possible heartache later.

I guess it really does come down to what your expectations are. If you hire a friend or someone just because they are cheap, don't expect the results to be the same as the experienced photographers, this will just lead to dissapointment later.

Oh boy! This post has gotten out of hand.

You get what you pay for, or don't pay for! Think all your decisions through and at the end of the day if something doesn't turn out the way you wanted b/c of a decision you did or didn't make then your the only one to blame.

@ Jessika Q. It was me.