Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

M
Expert November 2019

Debating on not having bridesmaids

Mrs!, on April 13, 2019 at 2:24 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 5
Saved
Reply
Hey guys! So me and my FH are debating between having and not having bridesmaids and groomsmen and a MOH and BM. If we did, we were thinking of just having a MOH & BM. But then I know one of my other friend’s feelings would be hurt. If not I was hoping we could do 2 each but then the other 2 of his friend’s feelings would be hurt, so it’s looking like we either each have 4 or go with none. Although we are still open to the idea of just a BM & MOH. What are the pro’s and con’s of having BM’s and GM’s? Also, for our bachelor and bachelorette parties are we forced to go away for a weekend? I wouldn’t want anyone to spend a lot of money, we would rather just do a girls spa day/guys shooting range or something day type of thing. Extra information: I am the first out of all my BM’s to get engaged and married. I’m only adding this info because I’m not sure if that would mean I would be alone planning most of everything since they haven’t had prior experience. However 2 have been a BM before, one has been a BM & MOH in many weddings, and one has never been in a wedding party. None of the gals know each other, at least not well. 2 have met on one occasion. For the groomsmen, 2 of them are also BFF’s and know both of the other GM’s pretty well. But those two gm’s have only met a few times. One of the GM’s is married.

5 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs!, on May 3, 2019 at 7:23 PM
  • R
    Just Said Yes August 2019
    Renee ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Having people there to support you and help you on day of that you love is a great part of the day.... but the dynamics of coordinating can be tricky. Sounds like the 2 and 2 option works well... esp if the other two boys are just know each other well level but not BFF’s. Guys really don’t care.



    Also, do whatever wherever you want for bachelorette/bachelor party!!
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Dedicated December 2021
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I have ended up with 6 bridesmaids because my FH couldn't cut any of his guy friends, so I understand the bridal party frustrations. I think it's good to have a few more in a bridal party, they will be there to help you with things, I have just started planning and it's already so stressful and it's really nice to have a sounding board other than my FH, so every time someone/something stresses me out I don't feel bad unloading the nonsense to my FH all the time. Plus, sometimes talking to people that aren't as involved in the process have helped me see things more clearly. And I'm the first of my bridal party to get engaged as well, and they are still super helpful, I think as long as they can keep a rational head then they can help, experience or not.

    When it comes to the bachelorette party, I have seen people do so many different things, do whatever you want. If you want to do a weekend, I have seen people do multiple events a weekend away and then a night out for the people who couldn't afford the big trip or couldn't get the time off. It's your wedding, your celebrations, do it how you want.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Devoted June 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are just doing best man and matron of honor. It makes it easier for us.
    • Reply
  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Hi there!

    Picking your wedding party can be quiet tricky, especially when you want to spare peoples feelings. Many couples choose to have no wedding party for many reasons. There are pros and cons of doing so, check out this article from the WeddingWire ideas section which goes through them and what you need to consider when making this decision - I’m Not Sure I Want a Wedding Party. Now What?

    Having a BM and MOH is a great compromise if you don't want a large party. If you explained to your friend why you are just having a MOH, do you think she would understand and wouldn't be hurt? There are lots of other roles you can give to honor your friends. You could ask her to do a reading, or come dress shopping with you so make her feel special and involved without being an actual bridesmaid.

    You and your FS definitely don't have to do a weekend away for your bachelor and bachelorette parties, you're free to celebrate any way you want! There is no rule stating what a bachelor or bachelorette party has to be.

    How are you feeling about this decision now? Do you have a better idea of what you and your FS will do about a wedding party?

    • Reply
  • M
    Expert November 2019
    Mrs! ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you Smiley smile yes we decided to have a wedding party and everyone knows we want things low key so we aren’t worried about it anymore Smiley winking but thanks for that article! That helped ease some nerves!
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

The Indispensable Guide to Bridesmaid Gift Etiquette
Wedding Party The Indispensable Guide to Bridesmaid Gift Etiquette Not sure how much to spend on bridal party gifts? How about where to buy them?...
37 Unique "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" Proposal Gift Ideas
Wedding Party 37 Unique "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" Proposal Gift Ideas Bridesmaid proposal gifts are a fun way to recruit your crew, and we're sharing...
23 Bridesmaid Robes Your Squad Will Want to Live In
Bride & Bridesmaids 23 Bridesmaid Robes Your Squad Will Want to Live In Getting ready with your BFFs never looked so good.
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics