Debating whether or not to go?

Depends on your priorities. Asking your FS to skip his step-brother's wedding for a photoshoot is asking much and will cause a rift with the family down the line. If you don't want to go, then that's another story. Anyway, the best outdoor light is at twilight or sunset. So, if you end work at 5pm, you can still have a photo session in the late afternoon depending on sunset time. You can also nix the professional photographer and take photos on your own phone at any time.

View Quoted Comment The photographer is in houston,Tx. I would never ask him to skip. It would just be me the one skipping because I have to work Thursday then we would take a half of day off on Friday so we can go to houston for the photographer since we live in Dallas.

I forgot to mention, we are doing engagement photos since we have never worked with this photographer before but he did my sisters wedding this spring & we liked those photos but he said that he wants to get to know us as a couple & wants to do engagement photos.

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Well, I understand you want to establish a good relationship with your vendors, but treat as any working relationship. Does this meeting work with the schedule of all parties involved? If not, this is an optional burden. You do not need engagement photos to gauge their professionalism. You can go by their body of work, contract, your sister's referral, and personal assessment of how you three communicate by phone or zoom meetings. Some couples feel they need to be friends or impress their vendors. That's not necessary, you just need to be comfortable in-person and with the contract.

My photographer did my SIL's wedding and we met in-person on our wedding day. We were busy, he was busy, and Brooklyn is still far. I'd love to hire him for another function in the future if he's available.

I'd have a hard time attending a Thursday wedding for anyone. I also wouldn't strain my finances, employment, or risk foregoing engagement photos to attend a wedding as an SO (rather than a primary guest)

Agree with Willow. A Thursday wedding is hard for almost anybody to attend, so the couple should already be prepared for there to be a lot of declines.

It sounds like going to the wedding will cause you a lot of stress. It's okay to prioritize your engagement photos and not go to the wedding.

I think skipping the wedding is fine given the circumstances. My husband gets PTO but it's not a ton so we would not be attending a weekday wedding unless one or both of us was in the wedding.

A Thursday wedding is going to be difficult for a lot of people, and the fact that it's at 5 pretty much guarantees that people will have to take off work to be able to attend, which isn't always feasible. That's a risk they took with planning their wedding on that day/ time. Plus, your fiancé will still be able to be there, so it's not like you're keeping family members away, and he'll be able to be there to "represent" the both of you.

I'd say talk to your fiancé and see if his step-brother/ his family would be understanding about you having to miss the wedding due to work. If it's going to be a major issue, then I'd say it's probably best to attend since these people are going to be around for the rest of your lives together, but if they're the type of people who understand that not everyone can get time off in the middle of the week, then I wouldn't worry about it and just say you couldn't get the time off.

View Quoted Comment Thank you all for the great advice!!! I think I’m going to wait to find out what works best for the photographer when to go to houston in September. If it works that it’s two different weekend as then I will look at my hours and see if I can afford to take off a Thursday but I won’t get paid & could mess up my holiday pay. I may mention to the couple ahead of time that there is a chance I can’t get off due to work. The family is close but I have only meet the couple twice. I don’t even follow them on social media or have their numbers.