Deciding not to invite my dad

Follow your gut and don't invite him. He has a particular history of behavior and no relationship with you, I would not trust him to be respectful

I personally have never heard of any instance where someone invited someone toxic and it turned out to be a positive experience. Do not invite him and do not send an announcement.

So I've had this with 2 members of my family, my dad being one and my grandmother being another. When we first got engaged, I was on okay terms with my dad, but not great. So I didn't really intend to have him play a big part of my wedding, but I was going to invite him. That all completely changed for me over the course of our engagement and he's a completely different person now. Now, he's walking me down and being my dad. But that's because he chose to work on himself because he really wanted to be a part of my life.

My grandmother was a lot worse in my eyes. She did something horrific that she hasn't apologized for to this day and she loves stealing the spotlight, even though she'll say she hates attention. I was not going to invite her...until her husband passed away (not my grandfather by blood). Once that happened, I decided to invite her and forgive her for the past because I knew it was going to give her something to look forward to and live for (she was in a rough spot). HOWEVER, because of her tendencies, I am seating her with people who I know will make sure and don't mind preventing her from acting up. I already discussed with those people because I want everyone to enjoy our wedding and they said it wouldn't take away from them having a good time to keep her in line. So she is invited.

You have to do what feels right for you. If you feel like your dad isn't going to add anything positive to your day, don't invite him. But if you think you'll look back and regret not having him there, maybe reconsider it.

Trust your gut it will never stear you wrong. If this person is known to steal the spotlight and cause drama then you definitely don't want him at the wedding regardless of him being your dad. I think with the rocky relationship you guys have your wedding is just no place for him.

Only you know the nuances of the relationship and family dynamic. You don't have to make a hard decision until it comes time to send out the invites.

My husband made the decision to not invite his mom. It was a difficult one because even though their relationship has been strained for many years, they started working on it, and it seemed like progress was being made. But ultimately we didn't extend her an invitation for various reasons.

She was sad, as was my husband, but he didn't regret his decision.

Trust your gut- it’ll never steer you wrong!

I am getting married in August as well and am not inviting my dad. We had a series of incidents that lead to a falling out like I haven't talked to him in several years. He hasn't even met my fiance (we have been together since 2012). When he saw on Facebook that we got engaged he called via Facebook messenger 3 times the first 2 days after the engagement. I never answered but entertained the idea of inviting him. After leaving it alone I decided it would be too awkward to have him there and will cause nothing but problems if he were to come. Make the decision as to what is best for you and your FH! It is your wedding! I am dealing with family getting there hands into things and have to remember that it is my day! Good luck!

That’s a tough one. But you know your father and we don’t. So, what are some things that you feel may occur if he is present? And is it anything that you can speak with him about ahead of time to avoid any possible situations? Not inviting your father might be the ultimate end of your relationship. So if you’re totally fine with that outcome, with zero regrets, then remove him from the guest list

Since he announced he had a new relationship after you announced a big news, and didn't even tell you he got engaged , he doesn't care about you at all. The guests are supposed to be people who support your upcoming wedding or at least those who are happy either for you or for your partner since most of them are closer to one of you. Doesn't sound like he's happy for you at all.
If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't invite him and wouldn't even consider it.
Having a relationship with him is another story .

Whether or not you invite your Dad is up to you. But things you mentioned, like thinking he is taking attention from you, are not at all a good reasons. People in families, and friends, share good news, they don't get jealous of the attention other people get with their happy times. As to your Dad being engaged, the usual thing would be to meet her more than once this spring. Not to not invite her because she is a stranger. You not inviting her would be considered rude by everyone. He is not refusing to recognize your fiance. You need to be more positive to his, If you want things to continue to improve over time, and for him to continue to even have a relationship. Why would he want to have a relationship if you are mean and exclude his SO.

View Quoted Comment Because the wedding wasn't meant for the father.

Without knowing your dad or what the cause of the falling out was or the kind of problems he causes in social settings, it's not possible for anyone here to say whether or not he should be invited. Likewise, we have no context for your feeling that he "steals the spotlight." Personally, I think it's possible to be happy for more than one person's good news or relationship milestones at the same time. Unless there is a lot more to the story, I don't know why it's so bad that he told you he was in a new relationship or that he was thinking of marriage in the same conversation as you mentioned finding a dress. I can understand being hurt to read about the engagement on social media, but then again, you had not been very close up until then.

Bottom line, it's up to you whether or not your father deserves an invitation but if you do include him you'd be 100% in the wrong to exclude a serious SO. It doesn't matter whether you know her yet or not. Maybe he's waiting for an invitation from you. One thing is for sure. If you don't invite him, that's something that may cause a permanent rift or be very hard to get past.