We are having small, intimate ceremony, only 40 closest people. It happens to be day after my future SIL birthday (not a milestone one, I don't know if it matters). I already planned for sending her a gift earlier and will of course call on the actual birthday with best wishes. Here is the kicker: first, when my future MIL found out the date of our wedding, she flat out said that she wants to do a birthday party for SIL on our wedding reception. And me being the least assertive person on planet Earth didn't say anything at first, because I am just dreading of being called a bridezilla. So I talked to future husband and just said that of course we will send a gift and call her on the actual birthday, but I don't know about doing a double party: birthday on our wedding. Since then, the idea evolved to we will have lunch to celebrate her before our wedding (on the actual wedding day...) and do a "small celebration for birthday" on our wedding reception. And I am... just not ok with that. First, I don't hate my SIL and MIL, but how am I supposed to get ready for the wedding and be excited about getting married if I am supposed to go to birthday lunch and bend our reception to accomodate a birthday party? I am usually a person in the background, in the past I compromised a lot with MIL and SIL, but I really want our wedding to be about us... I don't want to "share" my future husband that day... Am I being a bridezilla? How to talk to future husband and also MIL and SIL? Any advice? Or maybe I am the one being unreasonable? I will take the judgement, thank you!
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