Depression setting in

Thanks Sexypoodle! That's such a wonderful idea!

Thank you so much !

Thanks Angel. We officially cancelled and we've sorta come to a decision to marry in the courthouse and then do a celebration when things are normalized. I've learned SO much. The people in our life who support us will always be there for us and that's something I hold dear to my heart. I hope you have someone who will support you and your fiance's decisions and help you guys feel comforted in this crazy time. *BIG HUGS*

Thanks Marisa! **Focusing forward to updated plans**

Thanks Lisa

It does suck. I've learned a lot and from now on I will not include or rely on his Mom. She's malicious. There is no way to say it nicer. My poor fiance had to grow up with this. Anyways, we've made a decision to get married in the courthouse, then later when things are normal we'll do a celebration. That's something I can look forward to. I will have to treat his Mom as a guest. I wish you THE VERRY BEST in these trying times because you and me both know that it aint gonna be easy. HA! SMH

Thanks Alisha!!!

Thank you Daniela!!

Hi Eri,

We've decided on your plan C. It does kinda suck, but at least I can look forward to planning another celebration later when things are normal.

It's definitely a grieving process because this is supposed to be a pivotal moment in both of our lives. It's not even for me, its for my family too. I want them to know how special they are to me and be able to take my hand and happily give me over to my fiance. My family has really fallen in love with him, just as I have. ...Maybe that's enough, though, -sigh-. Well, either way, I'm thankful for your reply. I wish the best for you Eri!!

Yes, me too!!! I wish people around us were more understanding, but at least my Mom and Dad are really supportive. I'll have the future when things are normal again to look forward to planning another celebration. Best wishes Mercedes!!

You are welcome.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I've been doing the same thing and have had the same feeling - and i feel like i'm already invested - what am i supposed to do just cancel it and have all of this go to waste? i've put a lot of efforts into doing homemade touches and diy stuff and to have that uncertainty that its even going to be used at all just upsets me - i imagine most of us covid brides can emphasize with you and i know for me, that was zero comfort too. Honestly, nothing anyone has said has made me feel any better at all, and knowing that there's a whole team of us out there who've had to go through this during a monumental time in our lives, a time that should be filled with joy, makes me feel sadder.

To me, i don't want to hear about the "look on the brighter sides" or "the most important thing" stuff because it just makes me feel worse and guilty for wanting my wedding which to some i guess would seem frivolous. And i don't think anyone is saying it to make you feel bad but they don't seem to understand that it does. It's also hard to not have a chip on your shoulder through it. The only thing that i didn't mind was people just saying 'wow i'm sorry you have to go through this,' and leaving it at that.

Honestly, just try to feel what you're feeling. Sometimes you just need to feel those pains so you can confront them and deal with it. Don't push it down, don't try to just be the optimist in the situation, don't try to make yourself feel guilty for wanting things to be different or feeling upset about it or listening to those people who say "it could be worse". They don't understand the time, the care and effort or the money that couples have gone through to plan all this for it to just be cancelled or delayed. They don't understand how so many things get held up because of something like this. By the time i have my big wedding my FH and i will be together for 10 years. - at this point we were considering buying a house, and potentially starting a family in the next year or so...now those too have potentially been pushed (at least the baby has)

You DO DESERVE YOUR DAY OF CELEBRATION though!! So please remember that. Yes, this is an unfortunate time but this too shall pass, and good times will come again...

Hang in there Rachel. You are not alone. We are starting to have talks of postponing our wedding as well and it is frustrating and sad to say the least. But hang on to the end goal which is the hubby and the life that you all will begin. We have actually started talking about landscaping our backyard. Just something to pull our minds away from all things wedding for a sec but still gives us a project to work together on and laugh about. Its something I am constantly working on myself.

Honestly, who knew that a wedding website to help navigate and organize your big day could turn into digital therapy? I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for all of us. None of us would wish this on our worst enemy. We've moved our day from 10/25/20 to 11/14/21, and the slow build up to October knowing that the day will pass is getting to me. So so so many tears. A week after we signed the reschedule contracts with our vendors, I got laid off from my job. I am starting to have low-grade depression - and I don't know how to deal in this trauma of this year - sit in it and acknowledge it, and then when is the right amount of time to be sad before you're supposed to "move on"?

How can a wedding party turn into a pity party?

Heyy love I know the feeling I was a 2020 bride & had to move it & when my date came I was depressed as well. Im also planning mines myself so I know how you feel just relax take it a day at a time reach out to you venue about new days & make sure your photographer & others are available for the new date.. Look for 2dates if you can

Put MIL on an information diet, STAT.

I also have had to reschedule twice. I was a June 2020, then rescheduled to December 2020, now we rescheduled to December 2021 because my entire family has to get on a plane to get to us, from several countries, to attend our event. Obviously in 3 months this is not happening so we pushed it another year to when it will hopefully happen.

Your feelings of feeling shortchanged are completely valid, all of us will attest to that. I was engaged in August last year, had almost all the details planned and ready to go by December, and then set everything on the back burner by then. So I haven't thought about it since then (except about postponing again and again). It feels like LITERALLY always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Aww I'm sorry you feel that way Rachel. I personally have been experiencing the same thing; so much work gets put into one day of your life. (TBH I'm just relieved for the wedding to be over so that I don't have to plan it anymore haha)

Things that have helped -

- Thinking about elements that make a wedding special. It's a celebration of you and your spouse. Think about holding your bouquet. Think about walking down the aisle. Think about what your spouse will look like as you're walking towards the altar. The vows, the kiss, the cheering/clapping. The walk back down the aisle and seeing your guests.

- Having a support system, which you have in Wedding Wire!

- One day down the line you can share your wisdom of planning with a new bride, and all your hard work won't go in vain. Wedding planning is always hard!

I'm feeling the same way. It totally sucks.

You said all the words (minus the MOH) I want to say. I am lost, down, and wish someone would just make all the decisions for me. We postponed our wedding from 06/27 to 10/17/2020 and we are still having reservations on whether to have it on 10/17. Should we or shouldn't is what constantly goes through our minds. Our vendors have stayed in touch with me and provided information on what they are doing to keep guests safe so that's reassuring. We will be making a final decision this week to either stick with 10/17 or move it again. What is hard is no one can predict tomorrow, next week, next year so will moving it to 2021 make a difference. What if (God forbid) there is another pandemic, tragedy or something that disrupts the events again.

I was starting to feel depressed about not having a venue or date right now, and both my bridesmaids and fiancé not being excited about planning! wedding wire has been absolutely great for support and just to chat with similar people in similar situations! just know that you're not alone! When I get stressed, no matter what its related to, I have to take a step back, take some YOU time! take yourself out on a date, mani/pedi, nice lunch, massage, whatever self care you like for yourself. It will give you time to reflect and think about what's truly important for you and your fiancé and your future, not his mom or your family, but you the two of you, and your family will be there for you both no matter what you decide! its your day!