Destination Guest List Worries

Congrats! Invite based on what you can afford. I think if you'd like to keep it at 60-70, then you should invite 60-70. What if all 100 people show? Don't leave it to chance.

ETA: typically most brides expect half but I'd still budget for what I could afford.

I agree w/t GymRat! We had a 40 limit guest list now we're up to 53 (45 booked an confirm) I would stick to what you can afford.

Definitely don't invite more than you can afford. Like Matt said, what happens when everyone shows up and you hadn't budgeted for it?

I am also having a destination wedding. I have the same worries, but our guest list is around 130, but I'm budgeting for around 80-100 people. A lot of people have told me to be safe make an A list and a B list. If you're sending Save the Dates only send to the A list people. For the invitations send the A list invites a few weeks earlier than normal so when you start getting NO replies you can start to send out to the B list people and still be within the timeline for the RSVP date.

Please don't A and B list your guests like Marissa. Its rude. ESPECIALLY if you are asking them to dish out $$ to fly and stay at your destination wedding.

Same worry here!! I just decided to really cut it down to close family and friends. I'm sure some distant relatives will be a little upset but they have to understand that for a small wedding I can't please everybody and have to draw the line somewhere. We have around 80 invited and are planning for around that amount, although I'm sure only around 65 will come.

Can you afford the 100? If so, and you just prefer a smaller wedding, then it's fine to invite the 100. If you can only afford the smaller, only invite that many. You will have some no's but don't count on them. And don't have a B list. It's hurtful as a guest.

Don't invite more people than you can afford. My bestfriend just had 125 guests attend her destination wedding in Jamaica. Most of the people she invited ended up coming.

Do not do a B list - I was going to until I realized that it is considered rude, and I explained it to FH and he understands now too. No one wants to be considered an afterthought.

With that being said, we've had at least one person TELL us, if we end up having room please let them know and they'd be more than happy to come. That's different, but I wouldn't create two separate lists.

Never invite more than you can afford to host or have room for at your venue. Just because the norm is supposedly an average of a 30% decline rate doesn't mean you won't be an exception. I only had a 14% decline rate.

ETA: While I did not have a destination wedding, it did require travel for a large percentage of our guests. The majority of our declines were local...so you'd be surprised at how many and how far people are willing to travel.

Invite who you can afford to have.

While it's true that with destinations many people don't show, you can't count on it - especially since the carribean is popular, usually affordable to fly to, and not too far away. If you were doing a destination wedding in Hawii or Tahiti, then you'd probably be in a different situation.

You can't a and b guest list people for destination weddings! People have to plan and it's super douchey move.

Plan for the people you can afford. No more. No less.

GymRat- Its different but not that much better. I guess if the guest is ok with the fact they weren't initially invited, but I find it odd theyd be so cool with that.

If you can afford 100 and just want 70, feel free to invite them. But don't invite more than you can afford, it will just stress you out. If you are terribly concerned, don't send StDs either.

@Krystal - you will definitely have a lot more people RSVP no with a destination wedding, but it's really hard to accurately estimate the final guest list number!

If you can't afford or fit 100 people then definitely don't invite that many, just in case

@Kathryn, a few people approached my parents asking to be invited if any room opened up on the guest list. I thought it was super odd, but it happened more than once.

ETA: I agree with PP that you should just invite who you can afford. If you got a higher than average acceptance rate, you'd be in trouble with 100 guests.

@Kathryn - It's actually not that odd to me based off the fact that he's not a close friend of FH - he's an acquaintance. Plus he had a wedding so he knows how expensive NYC weddings are and how they go (guaranteed minimums and all of that). I mean, I never met the guy and couldn't even tell you his name so they're definitely not close. If he's not bothered about being asked after the fact that we're certainly not and I think it was nice of him to say that.

I have fitness "friends" who I only see at fitness-related events - I'm realistic in that we're not close friends - a term that I think people use very loosely. One of them got married recently and I wasn't expecting an invite (of course). If she told me she had room and she'd love for me to come (even if it was the day before), I wouldn't take offense to it at all and I would go if I had no plans.

Recently, another one of FH's friends bumped into me going home one day and he told me, "hey don't worry about giving me a plus one." I laughed because I hadn't gotten that far yet and forgot he's recently divorced. But it sure feels good to know that folks are trying to be considerate (so far lol).

ETA: clarity

I agree with all the other ladies. Only invite who can afford. That is what we are doing. For those that can't make it, we will have an at home reception.

I just think its odd to want acquaintances at your wedding. Why not just not, and save the $$? I could see if people canceled after you submitted numbers but its just VERY odd people would ask that.

Really Kathryn? (that's not a snarky response - I hate that you can't tell my tone). But yes, he meant after we've received cancellations. They are not on the list, but if we need 125 and we end up with 123 then I guess FH is giving him a call LOL. Plus you never know, maybe this acquaintance could end up turning into a closer friend of FH or the both of us.