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Just Said Yes June 2023

Destination Wedding and Limited Seats

Sarah, on March 15, 2021 at 8:25 PM Posted in Planning 0 10

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Hi all! New to this site and forum, and I only created an account because as the excitement of getting engaged has settled I’ve come to a realization. We’re not going to be able to invite/have all family members at our wedding if we do a destination wedding like we’ve discussed.

We live in the US and the plan is to have our wedding in Mexico. It’s going to be great! However.... I feel more people than we thought may be able to come financially and time wise as I thought about it more. We haven’t picked a date yet as I’m finishing nursing school and have other things to attend to, but this just dawned on me. The place we are considering (and that’s as far as we’ve gotten with planning) is a 25 guest max. You get a lot, the food is good, the drinks are good... but 25 might not cut it. A lot of venues are similar with 35 being the highest. I did see one that allowed 50, but no kids and that doesn’t work because I have a sibling and cousins with children. It might not cut it because we have a 200 person guest list, but because my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, their partners, their kids, etc.) alone could take up the majority, if not all, of those spots. I have some retired aunts and uncles who are financially well, not rich but comfortable and like to travel. I have some decently situated (financially) cousins and I worry that we’ll invite all these people and more than we expect will say yes they’re coming. My worry is the same for my fiancé’s side who is also larger with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.
What do we do?... Do we not invite some people? Do we only invite godparents, grandparents, etc? That seems rude though... but we can’t invite everyone and get back more yeses than expected and tell people they didn’t make the cut. I’d also like to say I haven’t discussed this concern yet with fiancé as this anxious thought sprung on me haha.

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Latest activity by Lady, on March 16, 2021 at 9:22 AM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on March 15, 2021 at 8:38 PM
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You only invite the number of people your venue can hold. If that’s 25 people, you invite 25 people. If not you run the risk of having to then uninvite people who may have booked travel already if you overinvite and everyone says yes.
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Super December 2020
Anais · on March 15, 2021 at 8:40 PM
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Like you said you absolutely cannot invite more people than your venue has available. It will be super rude if you invite 200 people, 100 can go but you have to uninvite 75 to only have 25 people there.
Invite the people that you absolutely want to invite and not every person you know. Cutting a guest list is hard but you’re going to have to do it.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on March 15, 2021 at 8:42 PM
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Make a list of those you absolutely cannot imagine the day without. Send announcements to the rest. Then based on that number and your budget, search for a venue at eventective.com
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Super June 2021
Melanie · on March 15, 2021 at 8:48 PM
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Agreed with Sarah. If your venue can only hold 25, you should only invite 25. You'll either have to expand your search for a venue or cut your list. My FH and I may be in the position where we can only have 25 guests due to covid, and we decided if it came down to that, we would invite our parents, grandparents, siblings, and wedding party.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica Online · on March 15, 2021 at 8:59 PM
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You should absolutely only invite the number of people that your venue can accommodate otherwise you could end up in a situation where too many people say yes and it would be rude to then uninvite those people because you didn't properly plan. If you want all 200 people at your wedding then you need to find a venue that can accommodate that number of people. You and your fiancé need to sit down and make a list of everyone you feel you must absolutely have then go from there. I always recommend creating a budget and guest list before looking for a venue in order to avoid situations where the venue is too small or out of budget.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on March 15, 2021 at 9:05 PM
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Totally agree with everyone. If your max list is 25 than that’s what it is. If you have your heart set on getting married in Mexico than make your list 25. If your heart is set on having all your friends & family in attendance find that place where it’ll accommodate you.
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on March 15, 2021 at 9:25 PM
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If 25 is the number of people your venue can accommodate, then you should not invite more than 25 people.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on March 15, 2021 at 10:45 PM
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A venue that accommodates 90% of your guests is a huge no no, even by destination wedding standards. I think when it comes to destination weddings it is reasonable to anticipate that you will not get 100% attendance but 10% attendance is incredibly low, particularly for such a ‘close’ destination wedding. By comparison, I have relatives who (pre-covid) planned a wedding that was a 14-16 hour flight from everyone and they were counting on at least 20-30% of invitees attending.

Either find a new venue OR cut down your guest list significantly.
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on March 16, 2021 at 8:07 AM
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Only invite the number of peopme your venue can hold. I think you need to start over with deciding who you want there and how big an event you want. Always assume 100% attendance.
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Lady · on March 16, 2021 at 9:22 AM
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This is why I always recommend starting with your guest list (and budget). Sounds like if you want 200 people you wont' be able to have a destination wedding. You could probably still have a destination wedding "feel" doing an outdoor event, maybe near a lake or coast (depending on where you live) and then do a super nice honeymoon in Mexico?
If that's not something you would consider, then I agree with PP's that you need to only invite as many as you can fit...so 25 max (including you and FI).
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Destination Wedding and Limited Seats

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