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Just Said Yes July 2021

Destination wedding gift

Lauren, on July 26, 2021 at 4:28 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
We are attending a kind of destination wedding it’s about 2 hours away at a 4 diamond resort. It’s honestly a wedding & a vacation. We got room discount codes for 35% off. It’s costing us about $500 for 2 nights and a tank of gas. We are attending rehearsal dinner (free) breakfast (free) wedding & dinner (free) goodbye brunch (free)
I know this is costing them a TON of money. What should we gift even though we are spending to attend? I almost feel like we should give more than usual for all the free meals, plus a 2 day “vacation” it’s been a place everyone dreams to go to. I’m stuck here? What would you gift? Usual, less, more? I’m assuming us going to all of this is probably costing them 2k+ for the both of us to attend. Help lol

4 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on July 26, 2021 at 4:36 PM
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Give what you would usually give - what you feel is comfortable and what’s in your budget. This often varies by social circle, family culture and level of friendship.
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    Give what you feel comfortable giving. Don’t give way over what you can afford. But if you can afford to give them a bit more than usual, go for it. I would probably do the typical (pay for your meal) or maybe a little more, depending on who it is. I don’t really think there is a wrong answer here.
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    Give what you would normally/comfortably give.

    The couple was not obligated to provide anything other than the reception dinner. While the rehearsal, breakfast, and brunch are all nice gestures on their part, that's exactly what you should accept them as - nice gestures. They chose to provide those things to enhance their guests' experience. That does not mean you are obligated to give them more than you would any other couple.

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  • L
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Lauren ·
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    Thanks guys! We’re all super confused as to what to give since we got the rooms so discounted in a peak foliage weekend at literally the nicest resort in the north east. We’re all asking what is everyone gifting! If it was airfare, taxis & just a wedding I would totally go with the norm. This feels too good to be true. That’s what we all keep coming back to. They’re good friends, she’s a NP & he is a MD they have been engaged since early 2019 and their wedding has been on hold due to covid & their work schedules. So it makes us feel even more obligated to def make it special! They’re beyond frontline this whole time! They also put their wedding to Oct 2022 since covid is ticking up, it was this year, and about a month ago we got the change of plans invite for the same weekend next year. It’s kind of a thank you in multiple ways so that’s why a lot of us are beyond confused! At least we have time to save. The bride didn’t do a shower. They have a registry of items under $50 it’s all just picture frames/vases, but there are only 15 items & we know 200+ are going. It’s been the nicest inexpensive wedding I’ve been invited to….
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