Destination wedding guest question

View Quoted Comment Most people are going to say “hey, we have ____ that day, we can’t make it,” not “we can’t come. Don’t send an invitation.”

View Quoted Comment I was surprised that so many did say it. I counted as maybe when people said things like that. No when they said, our daughter Kean is getting married the same day. But maybe it was my starting saying we thought a lot of people might have issues. If they get talking, a lot of people who know from parties or weddings they have done, that for a destination wedding it really helps . But people do right out say it, often. Don't save an invitation for us dear, we will be in Europe. Or, we have 2 family weddings at the end of the month, and showers, and I can only get 2 weekends a month. And I would suggest, we could sent you an invitation, just in case, and they would say, no, even if one is cancelled, there is no way we could travel, and stay 2 nights, we just can't afford it. And I would call that a hard no. But it was a surprise the number who must have hated waiting for RSVP themselves, and said " I will tell you now, so you don't bite your nails off as I did. We would love to come, but... so don't waste an invitation pn us, They are so expensive. Stay on the phone only a few minutes, and it helps. I know a lot of people who suggested that I call, not send cards, because that helped them A lot. A certain number know the first second they hear, but do not write a no RSVP till last minute. But in a conversation, it is different.

View Quoted Comment Would you still send an invitation even if they say they can’t come?

View Quoted Comment Ok good idea to have a further conversation if them imply they can’t come. I’ll be sure to inquire further to see if there’s a possibility they might change their mind and then be respectful of their answer. Great advice!

Obviously your guest lists and venue capacity aren’t quite the same! Try redoing guest lists based on the nearest and dearest who you must have. Check the numbers. Then do the

(Sorry hit the button too soon!) Then do the next level of people— people you really want to come but are not your inner circle. Check your numbers again. This might be easier than taking your bigger lists and cutting back! We also found it helpful to cap family by only inviting immediate family and aunts, uncles, and first cousins. If we would’ve extended it to any family that were slightly more distant, it would’ve easily tripled the list. This also helped as we didn’t have to pick which distant cousins, great aunts, etc. to invite and which ones to not invite!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the advice! Oooooo good idea to work backwards like that! I’ll try that!