Destination wedding- guest travel cost

I'm renting it for a week but I'm letting everyone stay for as long as they want and only pay for as long as want.

I'm not renting out rooms with the intentions of getting every penny back, just to help with the cost some.

Yes, thank you! I will be extremely cautious and I fully trust everyone I'm inviting to stay.

We got married during our annual family vacation. Everyone paid what they normally pay for our annual vacation and hubby and I paid the difference for the larger house/better location and food. Our house slept 16 and everyone stayed at the house for the entire week. They surely could have gotten hotels for way more money but everyone including DH wanted everyone with us. It worked out great. We got married at the beginning of the week and vacationed for the remaining 5 days. Since this is an annual thing we will always celebrate our anniversary with our family. Everyone's already planning for next year's beach vacation.

Yes, the cost would only be about $50-75/night. A hotel will run them at least $200-250/night. I by no means, am trying to make it seem mandatory! We were all college roommates at one point, so we are WELL aware of our worst points-haha.

I just honestly want to spend as much time with everyone and let everyone stay as long as they can(cheaper accommodations, longer stay).

I don't understand. Are you only renting the house if other people agree to share the cost or are you renting it no matter what?

Yeah, I don't get this. If you're renting the house regardless, then you should pay, flat out.

If you are considering it as an option for you and the BP / VIPs, and are asking if they're interested in staying here for X number of nights at $y amount per night, and only going to do it if you get enough yeses, then while I still find it kind of tacky, I can understand them paying a little more easily.

But definitely, if you're renting it regardless, it's completely tacky/rude of you to ask anyone else to pay. You could be nice and offer for them to stay for FREE, but it seems you're not interested in that...

"I will be extremely cautious and I fully trust everyone I'm inviting to stay."

Okay that's great but most damages to houses are accidents. No one is going to damage a screen door, break a table, chip the counter, walk through a flowerbed, or mess up the plumbing in the bathroom on purpose. Also what happens if the neighbors call the cops because you're too loud or using their parking spots, what if you get a citation? What happens if someone gets injured in the house?

You should absolutely be aware of the security deposit and liability you'll have and what the landlord is responsible for.

I'm only looking at houses that are "event ready". So all houses have insurances for any accidents that may occur. I also know my guests and know they would cover any cost if they did serious damage by accident.

I'm just trying to get an idea of everyone's thoughts. Seems like everyone is kind of split between tacky/rude and okay to do. I've talked with my BP and as soon as I get accurate numbers, I'll tell them and see what they think. If they seem uninterested, then I'll have to back out and do a plan B because I really don't wanna be wedding broke!

I wouldn't expect them to pay everything back and make the house essentially "free", but if they chipped in $50/night, we could supply food and drinks the entire time?

...or am I just getting tackier and tackier? Haha-I'm really trying the best way to do this without having to fork out over $7k on a giant house that I don't really need(but i need for the purposes of an 'event ready' home with insurance).

This seems like you keep saying its "laid back" but it sounds like it's going to be more planning and stress for you in the long run. I've seen a lot of people on here with the thought that it was going to be a relaxing wedding but it ended up being more stressful than just booking a venue. Just my two cents...

But a venue means tables, chairs, linens, silverware, plates, decorations, DJ, servers, certain caterers... It seems like a lot of money that just adds up FAST. I have no desire to plan all that! It seems stressful and like I'd go down a scary path of $$$$

I'm sorry but I vote it's getting tackier. Please don't ask people for money to stay in a house you're inviting them to that you're already paying for.

Maybe a hotel would be better? Less things to plan.

Is the wedding itself going to be at this house?

@Nikki ick. That's one of the tackiest things I've read on here. You actually collected money from people for a wedding that isn't until next April to insure "they were serious"? Ick. Most likely, they lied to you and will wait to tell others how rude and tacky you were.

The reception- yes. The ceremony- no.

I guess the more I talk about it, it seems really in bad taste to ask for money especially if I'm going to get the house either way.

It's just very expensive and the only reason I need such a big house is because they are the only ones that are legally allowed to have events AND being in the summer, you have to book them for an entire week...which makes it out of budget.

I figured asking if the girls and their men wanted to chip in, we could make it more of a vacation/party for everyone and enjoy the entire week together.

Cheaper for them and me!

@Liz the fact that it's out of budget just means that it's poor planning on your part. If you can't afford something, you nix it from your list and move on. You don't expect others to pay for it so you can have it. I get that they'd have a place to stay too and all that jazz, but the whole thing really is tacky.

Good girl. And you know some of them might ask to stay there and contribute. That would probably be ok if they come to you about it.

Yeah, I see where everyone is coming from! Thank you all!

Time to ask my mom for help